April 12, 2005


Since when did the sweet-sour nature of relationships tilt more towards sour than sweet? Is it just me or does every relationship come with a baggage that initially seems light but at some point or another weighs so heavily on us that we start wondering if the fault is with us? To not sound absolutely ludicrious, let me support my seemingly baseless allegation with a few examples:

  • Firstly there are the obvious examples of unrequited love, the worst of it all, the fear of rejection is validated and magnified by the actual act itself and while one might learn to live with it, the problem is right there! One has to live with it, no other go there.

  • I feel I can write an entire book about expectations...consider a perfectly healthy relationship, where two individuals have the space they need and share an enviable rapport with each other and the world is a beautiful place!
    him (humming a tune): That was an awesome party, wasnt it?
    her: Busily studies her nails
    him (slightly annoyed at the silence that continues to greet him): I thought it was great fun...his voice trails along feebly as he realizes that the silence is intentional and the air around is suddenly pregnant with meaningful pauses...
    her: Now suddenly interested in the contents of her purse
    him: Racking his brain to remember what had gone wrong this time...pretty girl in red dress, the super-expensive golf sticks, great food, light conversations with Mrs. & Mr.A, great food ...shakes his head to clear his thoughts
    her: All subtle hints lost, breaks into tears
    Now, this is a classic example of how evil expectations are. The source of her outburst being what follows below:
    Mrs.A (after the initial over-effusive greetings): "Mrs.B told me that your gulab jamoon came out more like payasam" followed by pretentiously loud laughter.
    him: joins the laughter unwittingly
    ...and there was the problem. While she had expected him to act as a support while her culinery skills were being trampled upon, he had joined the enemy. She admits that her cooking is edible if not palatable at all times, she still expects. And this case is not necessarily only applicable to romantic relationships, am talking parents, siblings, acquaintances, friends, colleagues, the general masses!

  • Then, there are the many devious variations of a subject that I tend to linger upon(?), love. I cannot imagine the trauma that a person has to undergo when he/she finds the right connection, the perfect wavelength-match, the perfect conversationalist, but that almost perfect person is not his/her spouse! Imagine the load that one has to carry on one's head love worth that trouble?

I think I have rambled on sufficiently on this topic. My point here is not to discredit every relationship, my point is probably that people like me who tend to take every relationship seriously (subject of my previous blog), should learn to lighten up! After all, we only live once, so lets live and let live!

1 comment:

Freeyavedu said...

Ramya... Nice thoughts. Yes, we should learn to lighten up

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