People, people, people

I had this sudden fear that my ever-dwindling social circle is going to become non-existent unless I do something proactive about it. So, met a bunch of new people this weekend. New topics of conversation are always fun! Plus as k puts it, am constantly "in awe" of newness in general. A few years back, I met this lady who was working with nano-technology and I found her work fascinating, especially the bits that she said were sort of confidential! Some months back, I had this long conversation with a doctor friend of mine about...life and death. I just listened and wondered about how amazing her job is - life, is in her hands! Yesterday, I had a blast with another doctor friend of mine and she is usually so mean to me (all intentional, of course) and so goofy, I become goofy too! And after ages, I talked a lot of nonsense with her, while the men in the room shook their heads as if to say, "We give up", and cracked up!

I guess, I like being in awe of people. The fact that I am in awe makes them that much more interesting. Like all things amazing, the intensity of how interesting I find people goes down as I get to know them more. That, I think is just human nature. Doing the same grind gets to you no matter how interested you are in it at first. My brother and I used to wonder how great it would be if we had to just read comic books at school and then we thought some more and concluded that, that would become a chore too. The fun is only that the contact is not continuous and pre-determined, it's on the spur of the moment, exciting and unpredictable. Sort of like relationships we form with new people.

And for that, I am thankful to my daughter who is as new as anyone can be and who has taught me that there is more to life than to-do-lists, plans and materials. Every day is new, unpredictable and fulfiling with her. I keep wondering what I ever did with all the free time I had before her. But that part of my life is a blur now...

I am sure there is something to be said about everything old too. Like an old married couple or an old house with a thinnai or old friends. But, this post is not about them. This is a celebration of newness and the hope that turning 30 continues to bring new and enriching experiences along the way.

In fact, I wanted turning 30 to be so new that I asked k not to arrange a party for me. And then I thought hmm...turning 30 is something so eventful, I should spend it in the company of friends, plus little r~ would have a blast with n number of humans in one place (she loves people) and it so happened none of them could make it (save one), "remnants" of too many social gatherings, as one of my friends put it, prevented them from dropping by. Oh well, that is something new too. Not wanting any sort of party, getting a surprise birthday party 2 days before my birthday (which was fun, what does a date matter anyway? 21st, 23rd...potAtoes...poTAHtoes, right? no?), wanting to meet people all of a sudden, finally, spending some nice quiet(hah!) time with k, lil' r~, sole friend and Oscars...ah...life, I tell you, is quite new and unpredictable for me.

I am back to dancing now, which gives me a chance to meet a wonderful class full of "young" girls and giggle with them. Almost makes me feel like I am a teenager. One can always imagine...

My dear lil' r, I tell you, your mom is crazy!

Tweet

Valentines Day

After many years, for a change, there was no pressure on me for Valentines day. I did not have to show to the world that I did something cool on Valentines day. You know what I mean? Sitting at home on V-day = umm...is the romance dwindling already kind of thing. So k and I always used to book a nice booth in a restaurant, wait faithfully for the 45 minutes or 3 hours time it took to push our way inside and then we would watch a chick-flick (Yes, those are the only kinds I enjoy), eat ice-cream and call it a day, satisfied that the fire of romance was still very much ablaze in our lives.

A couple of years back, I remember sitting huddled at a small table with k at an Indian restaurant. Now, "huddled" would probably have you painting images of a cozy restaurant booth, dim lighting, sweet whispers that floated about in the air as we stared into each others eyes...hah! It was more like a rickety wooden table in the middle of the restaurant with two equally aging chairs, waiters and customers shouting above the din in the restaurant and me trying to sit as comfortably as I could without jutting my elbow into the guy sitting about three quarters of an inch away from me! Yup, we did meaningfully stare into each other's eyes, k and I, "Made it! One more year. A meaningful V-day! Do we really have to do this next year?"

And then little r~ arrived and now we got to spend blissful little moments with her staying home on V-day! No guilt. We were however too lazy to cook and ordered to-go from a restaurant nearby and ended up waiting 45 minutes for our order.

Oh and k was so excited about the card that he got me, he forgot to fill it up. He came racing into the house waving the last-minute-bought colorful little card saying, "Happy Valentines Day!" and I gleefully opened the card, read it and then thought it was missing some things, like "Dear RS, Love k..." you know? The basics!

I start work in a month's time which means I can finally be a part of the super cool moms who can say things like, "Oh! I juggle baby and career...yes, I know...it's tough, I manage somehow." Woohoo!

Also, let's not forget, I turn ...shh...silence.... THIRTY in a few days! And so, I plan to get drunk and pass out on my birthday. Just like Monica. Whee! What fun!

Oh wait.

I don't drink. Oh well. I guess I will just turn thirty quietly mulling about my many achievements and glories.

Wait a minute.

There aren't that many. In fact I can't think of any except little r~.

Hmm...

Huh...

Yup, thought of one more.

This blog!

Love you blog and love you readers.

RS exits waving happy kisses at one and all, peacefully ready to step into the big three-O.

Tweet

25 going on 30!

I hear the late 20s are the time when people are most confused (besides midlife crisis), when they vacillate between early 20 something kids and well into 30s parents with kids :) They yearn for the carefree life of the bachelor(ette), late night parties and impulsive decisions. But, the secure, comforting family of three with an adorable toddler holding on tight to the mom no matter how much you try to entice it with chocolates also paints a sweet picture. We wish we could be certain of what to do with this thing called life, like the aunty and uncle we spoke to recently, knowing exactly what they want to do, and, we also know that comes with wisdom that only age can bring along. So, where does that leave us? The people who check the 25-30 box on forms hoping they could curtail their age in that box for a little more time? The to-be-married/just-married/no-kids/SINKs/DINKs?

We still remember the not too distant past when we woke up on snowy mornings and having missed the School bus, trudged along in the snow to teach an 8 AM Calculus class. Why, we even remember the day we stood in the long visa line, with friends from our colleges and even parents, from morning till next morning! And of course, we remember our college crushes like they happened yesterday...we remember how Oasis used to be, how KSR and TRS taught so well but we still didn't get into IIT, no matter BITS turned out to be loads of fun anyway...

And we also know we are standing on the brink of something life-changing - a cliff overlooking an ambitious yet scary future, promising elements of a cosy family life, with little kids gazing at us adoringly, a time when the person the kid refuses to leave is us...not them, and also bits and pieces of unknown paths - a mishmash forming our destiny, the future we hope to experience but can never be certain until the moment is upon us to be the present...

And walking along this path, we often look back, wondering if we could just linger a little longer, but at the same time yearning to experience the treasures that our journey will bring...and until we cross that distance, we remain the elusive 25-going-on-30 people; don't worry we'll get over this together!

And to those people who fall in the 20-25 group, you know the kind that goes, "Oh man, you'll be 30 in a coupla years!", I wish I could say, "Wow! And you are still 23, I must say, that is quite an achievement, your parents must be awfully proud of you!"

But I am a nice girl, I am not rude, given most situations. So, in the infinitely greater wisdom that the few years have given me over this astute 23-year-old, I would nod and smile. Also with wisdom. Ah, such pleasure to possess such wisdom :p

Hey you! Big Three-O, am all ready for you, bring it on, baby!

Uhh...take your time though, not in a hurry!

Tweet

Over the hill?

So, k turned thirty and unlike me, my husband loves to celebrate his birthday with a bunch of people, so, we rented disco lights and amplifier from Doo Wop (our local music store), ordered cake from Maggi's bakery, pizzas from Joe Bolognas and we were all set. We had a blast! But, what made the party more energetic were the group of 20-somethings from the University (Yes, I get to say that although am still in my 20s - not for long though :p) - ready to dance into the night and linger over silly conversations, which was such a rare treat for me...

Anyway, seeing them reminded me of my own early 20s and I was pretty much like them - wanting to try new things out, always ready for a road trip, talking to friends late into the night...not that am very different from that now. I still do like talking to friends late into the night, I still like going on road trips, but now everything has a clearly defined boundary. The friends that visit have a set time allotted for the visit (the concept of "lingering" long forgotten...or what we call "Daira podardu" in Tamizh :), the road trips that we plan are anything but impromptu and people have their own preferences, some of which they would rather not sacrifice even for a day. So, everything has to be planned - where we eat, when we eat, where we visit, even a visit to a coffee/ice-cream shop has to be co-ordinated prior to the trip...

Sooo, where does that leave 25-30 somethings like us? The 9-5 people who look forward to weekends to relax because their weekdays are monotonous and in the process of relaxing creating yet another monotonous-routine for weekends...?

I don't know. I guess in a way, this is the life that we worked hard for but we had just pictured it differently...

All I know is that I am grateful to the unexpected visits, the long conversations, the late-night parties and the "lingerings" that still manage to occur in my life :)

Tweet

Are we there yet?

No. Not now, not ever. We are never where people assume we are or even where we assume we should be. So, what exactly am I talking about?! Time and age, to give you a short (cryptic?) answer.

I’ve seen it happen too often for me to ignore it. When I reached my 20s, I couldn’t believe that I was no longer a teenager. When I graduated with a Master’s degree, I couldn’t believe that I was a working professional and not a PIGS (Poor Indian Graduate student) anymore. Two batches of students had successfully started or perhaps even finished their Graduate study by the time I graduated! I was actually advising them about courses and I just finished being on the receiving end of the same advice!

My office colleague once told me, “You know, I was here in this play pen with my 1 year old daughter and someone there called me a mommy and I didn’t respond. It took me sometime to realize that I was the mommy now!”

Me? I am going to be 30 in a few years, the big three-O. Liquor Barn has a whole aisle dedicated to birthday jokes, caps, greetings that convey pretty much the same messageyou are no longer climbing the hill; you have begun descending the other side of the hill. Yes, I have heard the adage - You are as young/old as you think you are. And then again, are you? It would be quite silly of me to act like a teenager now but that's how I feel (want to be?)...

I remember when I received my first mail addressed cheerily to Mrs.Shah and I just did not make the connection. “Mrs? That mail is not for me. I am just a girl.” A girl trying to adapt to being a woman, still…8 years have passed since I was a teenager and I am still adapting. And before I can adapt to being a woman, an adult, I will soon be a mom and then an aunt and so on.

We are never there. Are we?

Tweet