June 27, 2008

The whole comparison business.

Whenever I talk to k about any given situation and say something like, "Similar to what she did when...", he immediately counters with "Don't compare". I am a reasonable lady and I normally would agree but then I wonder if this is just something that men automatically say to prevent "problems" for them, know what I mean?

It's like they (apologies for generalizing but then if I keep giving disclaimers for my thoughts, I would have more of a disclaimer summary and less of a coherent post!) want to avoid situations in the future where the wife would go, "Oh! But he did this for his wife when he came home late for dinner" or "He baked this double chocolate layer cake with their names spelled out in Monotype corsiva font with icing but you just fixed the tap for Valentine's day!" I wonder if men hate comparisons for this reason more than any logical trail of thoughts about how individuals react differently in different situations and it's not fair to compare and all that good stuff.

The other day, I asked k if he considered me a good cook and I made the mistake of beginning my question with, "Compared to other girls here..." and he went into auto-mode and said, "You can't compare". Uhh ok. So, if I were the only person in a given sample space cooking, I guess that would make me the best and worst cook there is since I can't compare. Which is kind of silly, if you think about it because any rating, ranking, position in society is somewhat based on comparison. I work as an engineer because compared to the other candidates, my employer thought I was better not because in a sample space of 1, I was better than another given sample space of 1 consisting of another candidate. I wouldn't even know how to compare those 2 sample spaces and in any case that renders my argument null and void because we are still comparing! k proposed to me (as in marriage proposal :p) because Gasp! He compared me with other girls!

So I am sort of confused with this whole comparison business. I remember reading articles on spirituality that claim comparison will only cause unhappiness but then that's how we function in a this house better compared to the other houses in the neighborhood? Is this car being sold at a better price compared to n other cars? Is this blog better than the 10 other blogs I read today morning dealing exclusively in life's trivialities and such?

In conclusion, I arrive at no conclusion about comparing. I do have a thought about men and comparisons though. I bet they compare in their heads. All the time. They just don't verbalize it like women do so later on they can claim, "There you go comparing again!" with a lengthy sigh.

June 18, 2008


The past few weeks have been full of to-do lists, plans and activities and my mind is a constant whirlwind of thoughts and action plans so much so that I wake up with several to-dos floating in my head interspersed with bits of the fantastic dreams of the previous night. What's up with those dreams anyway? I am a regular dreamer :p in the sense, I have dreams on a regular basis but now it's like I am being bombarded with super vivid dreams which have the most ridiculous scenarios playing in my head - friends from Bits and temples from my childhood, old aunties and strange prophecies - I have no idea what to make of them and mostly I remember them when I wake up. Which is weird because my real-life to-dos then have to compete for space with these dreams and it's all one strange experience.

Anyway, a co-worker finally made a sweet that I have been craving for for the past few months. Not just you-must-drop-by-home-etc promises; a box of real, gooey, huge spherical gulab jamuns! And it was totally unexpected, so I was touched and all that considering that no-one really made anything special for me and all that (Of course k cooks what I want to eat on chosen days after hints from me ranging from the subtle to the arrg-just-cook-what-I-want!) God bless him (the co-worker I mean) and his mom (she called them makhan peda or something like that)!

I managed to find time to write a javascript program for k's birthday which, surprise! He managed to solve while I am still pregnant (with heavy hints from me)! One of the questions was, "How many gifts are you getting this year?" and his prompt, confident answer was "31"! Talk about great expectations! One of the gifts was a set of tickets to "Leading ladies" a play at Pioneer playhouse. I just love the downright-crazy, mixed-up situations that arise in these plays and the cool thing was the play was written by a local playwright! Much fun and laughs!

We finally checked out Earthwood furniture, a local furniture store that sells solid wood furniture, finished but not stained. You can then pick your stain (like cherry, walnut, oak stains) and then finish it with lacquer. Of course, it is a task for men who love working with wood not those just looking to find a quick furniture piece. The sad thing is the store is closing which says something about priorities. Like the lady at the store said, people don't seem to have the time or inclination to buy and finish wooden furniture by hand. They look at easily available, much cheaper MDF furniture and wonder why the price difference is so huge. Anyway, if you are in town, you should visit the place.

Oh! And there's this great sitcom on TV, "The big bang theory" (shows on CBS Mondays 8 PM EST)! It has this Indian character whose parents take decisions for him about whom to date, when to marry etc. All the characters in the show are kind of exaggerated, the geek is super geeky and the Indian guy is like this mama-papa's boy who is terrified of talking to girls except when he is drunk and then he says the most ridiculous things!

So that's that. Expect more disjointed updates and anecdotes in the coming months :p

June 10, 2008

Page 123.

In response to IBH's book tag: "The tag is about the book that you are currently reading, turn to page 123, count till line 5 and write down the lines after that!"

"And then it was fall, and he had enrolled in Harvard. She had chosen Middlebury. He'd made himself give it up then, accept her silence as punishment"

From: The last time they met by Anita Shreve.

Have been meaning to pick up one of her novels for long, this one's kind of super intense though, without a break, which kind of tires me out, if you know what I mean.

June 03, 2008

Mamma mia!

Written after the definite realization that there are several worlds out there, not just ours. I don't mean like parallel universes or something (although that is an interesting topic to blog about), I mean just different worlds that you can get totally immersed in and lose yourselves. And I thought becoming a mom meant one such new world - "The pregnancy world" or you know something cute like "The googoo gaagaa world" and just that one new world. We learn about this one new world, neatly step in and continue living in that world happily ever after.

Oh boy! Was I wrong! Having a baby means entering multiple new worlds that your current world does not provide you enough time with which to research. You know what I mean?

So far, I have come across an incomplete list that includes:
  • "The pregnancy world" - Basically lists of stuff that you can read and be scared about mainly, and also get excited about once in a while :p
  • "The baby world" - This is where you learn that just because someone is little doesn't mean you do little things to make him/her happy, you do lots of really big things!
  • "The materialistic world" - This is where you buy and then buy some more stuff to make sure the little one has all it's demands (and some of ours) met.
  • "The mothering world" - How can you be the #1 mom and live under the illusion for quite some time and so on.
  • "The diapering world" - This is big. There are like 568 varieties of disposable diapers and 295 varieties of cloth diapers you can buy and 2008 accessories you can buy for each kind!
  • "The feeding world" - This Venn diagram kind of intersects with the baby world but is big enough to be it's own world
  • "The rest of the world world" - This a shrinking world consisting of this blog and such, my work, my life, you all and me :)
Being pregnant is funny business, especially if you take the time to watch people's reactions and expressions carefully. Different categories of people communicate with you differently and it can be quite an amusing experience on the whole, at least it is for me ;)

  • For instance, there's the been there done that mom-and-dad-and-mama-and-maami category -I get loads of good advice, the occasional weird advice and the frequent, "You must come home, I will cook whatever you feel like eating, just for you!" which doesn't really materialize but is nice to hear anyway.
  • Sometimes, there are these people who would like to check out how big my stomach is really but are too ahem...polite to ask, so they discretely check out my belly in what they consider an invisible glance. I catch it every time. Well, that's not really a category, I don't believe much in categorizing people anyway :p
  • There's the caring bunch, the people who go out of their way to make things convenient for me and my growing self. That's nice. They also make it a point to remind k how he should always be nice to me and so on and I love the look on his face when he gets advice like that! Anyway, I really like this bunch.
  • There's the oh-nice-ok-then bunch - Basically the people who don't pay much attention since their lives are consuming their time as usual. So, they don't really offer to do much or go out of their way to accommodate your wishes. Oh well, the world doesn't revolve around me, it does obviously for me, just not for them :p
I could go on but I just remembered I had something more important to say, "By the way, I am pregnant" :)
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