May 24, 2005

The Jigsaw Puzzle.

Bits and pieces of the confusion, otherwise termed my mind; sometimes a jumble of pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and sometimes, the complete picture - depending on which piece I try to fit in first. Sometimes two pieces just clamp on to one another, a perfect fit, sometimes, I bite my lips in concentration, mulling over the colors and shapes of the two pieces, trying to discern a connection, fragile at best, but a connection all the same; my attempt to associate thin wisps of logic and sanity to the seemingly meaningless conundrums that my imagination, my mind mercilessly mocks me with...I scatter a few discarded pieces of the jigsaw puzzle here...

  • I was sitting in a meeting yesterday, a brainstorming session that looked as if it was going to be highly productive. My attention, which usually has a mind of its own, was doing a surprisingly good job of staying focused, until someone in the meeting started playing around with a marker. He opened the marker with a pop, closed it with a pop and finding the act highly conducive to his complete concentration perhaps(?), he continued to play with the marker, pop, pop, pop...and all I could hear was the annoying little rhythm, not the ideas, not the flowchart on the whiteboard, just pop, pop, pop...

  • A quote that won't leave me today:
    Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world. - Arthur Schopenhauer

  • Ever had one of those days when you come home exhausted, weary of your work and of your life and you unload your woes on a loved one, a friend hoping that he would grasp your struggling hands and pull you out of your mental quicksand? And suddenly you realize that no one has grasped your hands to pull you out? When all you want him to say is "Yes, you are obviously right, people are cruel and you have had such a rough day", with a sympathetic pat on your head, a pat declaring unconstrained and completely biased support for you at - least for those few moments - and what you get is an irrefutably and infuriatingly annoying and logical response, explaining calmly to you why it was your fault and everyone else was correct...and then all you want to do is to not so gently shake that person, rid him of his practicality and objectivity and add generous doses of bias and subjectivity to him to make him more human!

  • And then there are times when I hear or read things that people say about a person whose identity is kept intentionally vague and after sometime I start wondering if that person is me! After some more time (assuming the feelings expressed are interesting enough and nice (flattering? gracious?) enough to hold one's attention), I almost begin to wish that that person be me...Is it just me?

  • It was one of those moments, late into the night on a weekend, I was feeling silly and happy and mellow, and laughing crazily at everything, just floating along lazily, accepting everything that people had to say...and I found another such quirky person to connect with that night; we laughed at the same not-so-funny comments, we giggled like a couple of teenage girls at nothing and at-least people looked at both of us like we had had too much to drink...and I was not alone in my craziness, I had a crazy partner with me and that made the craziness worth its while :)


Subha said...

Hey RS,
Absolutely relate to your post. There are days when I've thought the exact same thoughts and wondered if perhaps, I am the sole crazed person in this world! Glad to have company...:)

virumandi said...

thanks for stopping by!!!

'surprisingly good job of staying focused'
I am sorry...i have a different opinion...if ure focussed then this 'pop' thing would not be heard...ur attention was looking for some other attention thatz y that 'pop' was occupying ur mind like atom bomb!!!!

Other three i totally agree..but people are people..they always like to be logic!! but unfortunately they succeed at the wrong time!!!

atleast u had somebody to share ur craziness..but have u tried to be crazy when ur are alone or ever been crazy when being amidst a gang..try is rejuvenating!!!!

dinesh said...

Hmmm..Interesting !

"a person whose identity is kept intentionally vague and after sometime I start wondering if that person is me"

Oh it happens to me all the time..remember your "Goodness" blog ? :). I thought you could have been talking about me 3-4 of those cases...and it turned out (as it does always) that I was the guy who I least wanted to be out of the list. I ended up feeling silly that I expected to be those other guys ! :)

RS said...

To Subha: doubly glad :) :)

To Virumandi: are probably right judging by how fickle my "attention" is!

To Dinesh: Imagine my plight...half the time I imagine the reference is to me, however vague and it turns out it's not me AT ALL :)

Suburban Turmoil said...

I like your idea to post recently read books. Our tastes are a bit different, but here are a few I'd recommend based on your favorites:

The Secret History, Donna Tartt
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
The "Lucia" series by EF Benson
Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert

You must hate Kentucky. Not a lot of people there with your kind of thought patterns.

RS said...

To Lucinda: Hmm...I remember having bought Madame Bovary at an old book sale somewhere, will start with that book in your list, thanks :)

virumandi said...


thanks for stopping by!! i've put in the translation..and waiting for ur next blog!!!!

Gangadhar said...

First time on your blog..Intereseting posts..Keep it up..

RS said...

To gangadhar ambati - Thanks :)

Mythili said...

hi RS,
thanx for the comments u left!
though it is the first time i have ventured to leave a comment here,i have been frequenting this site for more than a month!(got to know thro' Vasu)

Really awesome posts!Very impressive.

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