May 08, 2006

You see what I see?

Let's just face it. We are all just selfish. Maybe not at all times, but we have been at sometime or the other and we will be in the future (to give us some credit, most of it is with us not even aware of it). If you don't agree, check with your best friend. Because no one else will tell you to your face that you have been selfish :)

And why not ask yourself? Because your "self" holds the same point of view as you. You are both watching the world from the same vantage point, a place that comfortably supports your assumptions, actions and conclusions.

If we had been bestowed with the ability to consider a situation from everyone's point of view, we would probably never be able to reach a conclusion because they would all conflict with each other. And so here we are, stuck in our single points of view, surrounded by close ones who also see through similar points of view and we have nice little conflicts, differences of opinions and such.

Also, as flawed as we human beings are made, we tend to narrow our points of view and adjust it based on our own emotional attachments and prejudices. That's why my mom thinks I am never wrong when I tell her I had an argument with someone :) So, as I get older and climb the long ladder of wisdom (man, I still can't see the top!), I realize the world or even my little world with little people around me (yes, that's how I visualize it in my head, a small circle around me and tiny people standing around me - like a Lex-Lilliput :) will never see things the way I do, the parameters that zoom in and fade out parts of their view have different priorities attached to them and so, my little world and I just can't see the same things the same way!

What's all this long winded story about really? Just a reminder to myself to not expect people to see as I see - my skewed representation of the world :), and even if I can't help but expect, then to just accept the difference.

Photo from


Subha said...

>>and even if I can't help but expect, >>then to just accept the difference.

Here I was, thinking I was pretty good at accepting differences. I was given a rude jolt recently that maybe I wasn't as accepting as I thought I was! :)
It requires constant monitoring..a few like-minded friends is all we need to fall into complacency- to think that the world thinks the way we do (and of course, our way is THE right way!:)).
Anyways, I am leaving a much longer comment than I intended to. So here I stop.

dinesh said...

Hmm ! Nice write up...

Like you, I believe everything lies in vantage points as well. Because, how I see it now, I know is different how I saw it a few years back. Which means it will be different from how I see it a few years from now. But that doesn't make me wrong now !

Yes, the struggle to accept the differences is always on. Because only by its acceptance, can we seek little peace to ourselves. If not, more than the people that broke our expectations, it's us that suffer ! Why do we have to struggle for somebody else's mistake ? A nice balance between reasonable expectations and ability to accept the difference is required. Easier said than done eh ?

Hellboy said...

I think it is a part of the growing up process or as you have mentioned - climbing the long ladder of wisdom. as we grow and gain wisdom we tend to realize that it is ok for others to see something in a way different from us and it is not necessarily a bad thing.

I used to be like that and used to think “its my way or the high way". these days i am good at listening to others view and then present what i think. quite often the other person seems to sway towards what i say - i guess its because i was right in the first place :-)

Parth said...

There's value in being tolerant to differences. The smart thing is to pick your battles on what you'll disagree on. Especially if its your spouse you want to disagree with :-)

RS said...

subha - Know exactly what you mean :)

dinesh - Definitely easier said than done but I will give weightage to the fact that you are way ahead of me in this exercise! :)

hellboy - "i guess its because i was right in the first place :-)"


Maybe the key is in *really* listening.

parth - Thats another phrase I have heard often and that I am fighting hard to implement. For some reason, in my mind, my battles seem more like full fledged wars and I give my full effort to all of them - I need to fix that!

Biswajit said...

We do accept ur view friend but we will try to make a selfless world in near future.

we are very much sure of doing it.

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