All the way up there...

I finished Nanny Diaries yesterday (a wun-duh-ful book dahlings, seriously it's witty and sometimes scary to think there are parents as irresponsible as what is portrayed in the book) and then chanced upon an article on Reader's Digest about Faith. The article talked about people's faith in Angels and how it has grown in the past decades. It went on to discuss people's need to be a part of something bigger than them, their need to believe that they are part of a larger consciousness.

Life can't be about just buying the big house in Jayanagar, Bangalore where you will retire or saving money for your yet-to-born's Schooling, right? It's got to hold more meaning than that or sometimes we are just going to appalled by the superficiality of our existence. So where does this larger consciousness come from? I don't know but I do entertain fancy thoughts, my own conjectures about it.

For instance, consider a poor young boy's face when he watches a boy his own age carrying huge, colorful shopping bags of toys, with festoons and balloons almost covering his little head, I bet the little poor boy would leave a heavy sigh, a sigh that heralds many more to come for him, a sigh of unfulfilled desires and dreams which are beginning to seem more distant...I think that sigh goes all the way and sits there with someone in charge of collecting all the karmas of this world and keeping tab :)

Tomorrow if we do something that makes us feel a wee-bit guilty, that feeling floats up too and sits with this master account keeper.

Yesterday, if we went to the video store and talked loudly in our native language and laughed and the lady at the counter wondered if we were laughing at her...the sounds of our laughter and her doubts also rise up.

Each such feeling, sigh, yearning, even laughter and tears eventually find their way up and together make this larger consciousness that we talk about, throbbing and pulsating with the lives of all the souls that exist down here on earth. Maybe that is God, maybe the master account keeper is God. Maybe that is why good karma counts, I don't know. All I know is, even if there is noone up there keeping tabs, even if all our desires and dreams don't find their way up, as long as I imagine that they do, as long as I keep alive the illusion(?) that they all add up in some way, it makes me more conscious of what I say and do, that even my little existence has a purpose because it's a part of something bigger...

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