October 10, 2005

Purposeful thoughts from a clearheaded lady.

I know that's a really silly topic for this post, for any post for that matter but am tired of seeing confused thoughts and random feelings on blogs (such as mine) and I don't really like to refer to myself as a woman (or a maami or an aunty!), so lady I am! Men (Guys? Boys? somehow they all sound cool compared to women or girls) may scoff at posts such as these - little do they know the issues that haunt women-folk like us (lady-folk just sounds moronic)!

I think somewhere along the line, women have made a mistake about entering the workplace! No, I am certainly not for sitting at home and donning a glorified title of home-maker - I mean with dishwashers, vacuum cleaners and a hundred other facilities at home, maintaining a home is just not what it used to be. What am trying to say is while I sometimes find the need to establish clearly that a woman is an equal in a relationship, I wonder if we would have been better off just doing what we used to do centuries ago. Now that we have entered the workplace, we have a slew of new issues to tackle - the glass ceiling effect, child care, working-couple-family-management, balancing work and home - is it all worth it?

I do want to do something meaningful in life, something I can look back on after a 30 years and feel that I have achieved something but is a busy 9 - 5 career the only way to do it? I am not a big fan of part-time working either - all said and done, we miss out on important meetings, peer-programming experience and the nice juicy promotions and salary hikes - a part time working mom just does not get the importance that a full time salaried employee gets and with reason. So, that leaves us with another alternative - work from home, start a business, write a book, just do it from home, where you can still be doing what really matters - spending "quality time" (isn't this word over-rated?) with your children!

Monday mornings have a strange effect on me, so also Friday afternoons - maybe it's just me! Right now - I just have to get back to coding my client interface!


Subha said...

Working from home is not my cup of tea because I know what I do when I sit at home and try to get SOME school work done..:)Hmmm..this conundrum is always going to be around, I think. I know some homemakers, including my mom, complaining that they don't have a life outside of the family; that they are bored of the routine and not getting enough appreciation for what they do. I tend to agree with my mom. You can only spend time with kids so long as they're kids.
Anyways, the pasture is always greener on the other side.

Parth said...

20.5 century woman? :-)

Zeppelin said...


cool post... i am on a 50-50 agreement level with your idea...its true that lot of ladies complain about not having a life outside the family. But, at the risk of sounding chauvinistic, i think they themselves are partially to be blamed. This would hold good especially for women from our mothers' generation... they had involved themselves with so much "home" work that they have lost the capability to think outside of it... some of them take up painting,pottery,yoga, sloka recitation and what not and slowly recover from this "dont know what to do with life" phenomenon... as for the others, i honestly dont think i am eligible to comment since I do not know what is keeping them from not doing anything...

ayyiyo romba serious-a pesiten... :)

the monday-morning-friday-afternoon syndrome absolutely affects me...and its absolutely not just you.. :)

also, if lady-folk sounds "moronic" as you put it, the phrase "the issues that haunt women-folk like us" makes you sound like a "Sthree-Sangam" leader... i was thinking of saying "activist"...but somehow mentally sthree-sangam sounded better... :)

p.s.: sorry for spamming... !!

thennavan said...

I believe women can still be meaningful contributors within the confines of a home. Technology allows that today. There have been glacial shifts in society due to women trying to take on what used to be exclusive male roles (I hope that doesn't come off sounding like a MCP-ish thing :-)) and many women themselves are now ruing it. Idhu thevaiyaa?


Sriram C S said...

ikkaRaikku akaRai pachchai!

TJ said...

I understand it to be about defining the goal in life. It is something, which you wud do, that would give satisifaction on the death bed.

I doubt if anybody would be satisfied by, 'coding for 20 years' in the death bed. ;) [only for an example]

I infact, look at the earlier setup which we used to have as follows.
1. Men folk work and win bread to make the current and to an extent the future generation to survive.

2. Womenfolk, on the other hand play the survival+ role. That is, imparting values, building the generation, charting the direction in which the whole lineage needs to go,[Though most of the times it is subtle], along with the daily chores.

Now, i understand, what you have felt is the need for clearly following the above definitions, for if both of the resources perform role 1, then the SLAs for role 2 would not be met.

Good thought indeed, and it will grow better, if u can start actionizing it ;)

RS said...

Subha - You can only spend time with kids so long as they're kids.

But, we do need to spend time with them when they are kids, right? How do we manage to do that being the self-proclaimed career-oriented women that we are?

Parth - :)) That seems to describe me well!

Phil - yoga, pottery painting, interior decoration classes somehow sound lame to me (btw, am going to join yoga and have already done pottery painting and like it :)) - as if it's some artificial exercise to prove to the self and the world that a home maker can also have some interesting hobbies? Not a spam at all, dude :)

Thennavan - Idu thevaya? Terila - adaan inda post :)

agnibarathi - sigh.

tj - Would anyone be satisfied with nothing to show for oneself other than the 2 kids that she has raised? Nicely put - esp the building the generation bit :)

Exactly too much crowd in role 1...will try to "actionize" sometime, I guess :)

Zeppelin said...


as if it's some artificial exercise to prove to the self and the world that a home maker can also have some interesting hobbies?

i didnt mean it in essence to prove it to oneself or to the world...just keeping one's mind occupied with something positive rather sitting and developing a web of negativity and brooding that life is wasted...

there is a plethora of activities that women can do nowadays, especially with the help of the internet... the question is whether they are willing to break that invisible "i dont think i can do anything in life" wall..and actually give something a shot... pottery,painting - just used them as examples... :)

RT said...

hmm...guess i am not alone...actually u hv written whatz been going on my mind...atleast i hv company if not answers :-)

RS said...

phil - easier said than done :)

RT - I have a feeling this particular qn is going to prop up more than once!

Anonymous said...

after being so ambitious and hard working, being a topper, working for a MNC for nearly 8 years, i feel the same way.
whatever said and done, most women in 60s and 70s probably were more happy, needs were simpler, expectations from relationships were lesser and they were more adjusting than us - the new generation! ofcourse, they didnt have the financial freedom..
but, they probably had lot less problems to handle than what we have today, due to the fact that we want to have it all..a career, work life balance,time with family etc.,
running this rat race doesnt give any true happiness or peace of mind and i dont know if it is any good at all.. i know some friends who have called it quits finaly after having a child and instead spending the time in doing what they want to do - joining some voluntary organisation and helping, teaching in a KG school, painting etc.,
the underlying point is doing what we really want to do and what makes us feel happy and content..
though not everyone has the luxury of making those choices..

RS said...

the underlying point is doing what we really want to do and what makes us feel happy and content..

Exactly! Wish we could figure out that one thing that would make us happy and feel accomplished at the same time...I just dont want to look back after 20 years and wondered if I could have taken a better decision!

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