October 14, 2005

The Anatomy of a Fight

It's thirty minutes past my lunch time and a hungry stomach inspires weird thoughts - has to be something to do with the stomach-brain connection (don't tell me you haven't heard about this!). Anyway, I decided to ponder on the "Anatomy of a Fight" while my stomach growled in tune to my thoughts. The fight we shall discuss now is your typical girl-boy, hum-tum kind of fight.

So, one pensive night, P and I were discussing the birth, life, death and after-life of a simple honest-to-goodness fight between the Mr. and the Mrs. The simple logic behind why women fight is as simple as this - A woman will let off steam for issue x when issues that cropped up the previous week - y and z - have not yet been resolved. I mean you don't need a Masters degree in anything (except maybe Psychology) to understand that, do you? For the still-slow-on-the-uptake-men, let me explain with an example. The husband (boy friend, honey, cheechu or whatever appellation that you choose to bestow on your dear one - by the way, if cheechu is what you call him (or her?), you really should try reading the "Fat book of cute names") did not load the dishwasher on Monday. On Tuesday, the whole kitchen stinks with a pile of dirty dishes. You see, a woman is a very patient creation, kind of like a slow volcano. She will tolerate and be patient and go about her tasks as if everything were normal but you better handle her when she is dormant or well, good luck buddy. Anyway, On Wednesday, the pile remains and the woman cooks dinner, wipes the stove clean and tries to act as if everything is normal because she, being smart, knows that nagging is not cool at all. At this instant, enter the man, whistling a not-so-pleasant tune and he switches on the TV - let's say a nice sports channel is on and he settles himself on the couch - with a packet of chips and the laptop for company.

Several chemical, personal and emotional reactions occur at this very instant and the woman decides to break her little-noticed vow of silence. How dare he not set the table and set himself down in front of the TV? Has he no responsibilities? yada yada; you get the point?

Now, you, my astute reader, know as well as me that the real reason for her outburst is the pile of dirty issues, our old friend, issue x and not the TV, issue y.

Now, is this so hard to understand? As simple as y and z, leading to outcome of experiment with x being the catalyst. S'all a matter of simple chemistry :)


BUS said...

"a woman is a very patient creation" ha ha...good joke...

and i think the whole problem is gals fighting for some previous issue which men think have solved or dont think is a problem becoz it is silly :) or has been fought over before...

Parth said...

Now, now. Illustrate one example where the woman made a mistake, the man pointed it out then and there, the woman disagreed and life went on as usual. Let's balance the equations, shall we? :-) BTW, just noticed that you read 'The Kite Runner'. I just finished reading it. Did you like it?

FSN 2.2 said...

I agree with Parth. The man may have had other things on his mind than cleaning and dishwashing.He probably looks at the kitchen - yeah its functioning and will hold up for another couple of days, without going under a sea of dishes.

If the woman (girlfriend,cupcake, rasathi or whatever abomination of a nickname her 'cheechu' chooches to give her) would just point it out right then and there - that might solve the problem entirely.

Instead, the woman tries to use the 'Serenity Now' exit [from Seinfeld], and decides be 'mature' about it and let it go, while letting the ravages of pressure and time work their dirty little magic. So on Wednesday, it all blows up...

If the paragon of patience had instead decided to have a bit of a word on Tuesday:

a) The dishes would have been loaded
b) It wouldn't have become as ugly as on Thursday
c) The man might have gotten to watch UFC2.

Win-win situation, is it not?

I think the issue is: Does the woman want the problem to be solved ultimately, or does she want to point fingers [rightly so] at the perpetrator.

[I have recommended a logical course of action in the past, under such circumstances and been completely chewed out, as a result. Does logic die on meeting estrogen?]

All of this, said of course IMHO

Brat said...

the women folk dont see the dirty stuff till they want to explpode like a volcano or act as if they did not notice .... the day they want to clean, the guy folks are tired or want to rest ... thats when the fight starts ...

RS said...

Bus - correcta solra! Men think the problem is often solved when they havent worked a bit towards solving it - nice little sweeps into the carpet :) Thats your patient woman explaining with more patience :))

Parth - You see I was never that strong at balancing equations ;) I loved the kite runner - usually I dont like to read such heavy stuff because it affects me - like what happens to the little kid in the end - sourav right? Anyway, it had a kind of happy ending - I still thought about the book long after I finished reading it...

Fierysinews - win-win...yeah, now that you explain it like this - but its somehow more fun if the cheechu deciphers that rasathi is not all happy and peaceful - do a bit of mind-reading, you know? - unreasonable, I know - just what would earn some brownie points with Rasathi :)

Brat - Oh believe me, they see it, they *only* see the pile of dishes everyday, they just decide to not bring it up until they are ready to explode and somehow the guy would do just the thing to catalyze the reaction :)

Shiva said...

RS-your new template is KILLING me. It doesnt load in Firefox/Opera browsers and works only on IE :( - Iam not able to read your posts.. and I dont have that Microsoft item:((.. so please change your template, please please !!!

Prabu Karthik said...

cha enna aniyaayam!

monday ve "hey olunga dishwashera load pannu" nu anba sonna pannitu

project manager madhiri appo ellam pesama irundhuttu kadasila kathina?

unfair world :)

RS said...

shiva - edited the template - look ok in firefox now?

P~K - sigh, atleast un commentliyavadhu enna project manageroda compare panra, romba sandosham :)

FSN 2.2 said...

RS - here's where I enter a realm I am entirely unfamiliar with.

They are married now, after all. Why does Cheechu even have to try to earn any brownie points with rasathi? :-). Is that necessary? More importantly, does it matter?

Besides, for brownie points - how about the oru mozham malliya poo & oru packet badam halwa?

Shiva said...

thanks RS !!! ippo padikka mudiyudhu..

unfortunately a guy who bothers abt too much neatness isnt considered a man's man !! :( so bad luck there. Maybe the rasathi shd ask cheechu to do other 'useful' things - like maybe watching NBA or driving the car :)

RS said...

fierysinews - Mallipoo and halwa - cant beat the combination for brownie points :))

shiva - useful??? :)

© Ramya Sethuraman, All Rights Reserved.