November 01, 2011


Once in a while, I scramble to organize my thoughts into a meaningful post and those times, I just find it easier to write down a list of random thoughts and questions from my head because then, they have had their moment of 'notice' and then they can exit gracefully or stay behind for more conversation. So, here goes:

அ I am always caught by surprise by people who don't tend to be as inclusive as I am. I am using the term 'inclusive' very loosely here to mean including all kinds of people (no, not talking about racial bias here). If I were arranging a get-together at home and an acquaintance showed even a little bit of interest, I would have already handed out the invitation to her -- to me, the more the merrier is true in most cases. But, a lot of people, I am learning, tend to be cautious inviting people into their groups. I don't know if it has to do with insecurity or a basic lack of interest in reaching out to new people or just plain laziness. Perhaps there are other reasons -- I don't know because I can't read their minds. All I see is the wall.

ஆ And continuing the same thought, I can't think highly of people who don't have the courtesy to respond to my time with theirs. If I send you an email (nope, not talking about a forwarded joke sent to a group of 80 people), I expect you to show me the courtesy of a response. If you can't spend the few minutes it takes to respond to my email, phone call or invitation (nope, not talking about edge cases and personal crises here), then I don't really have time to be your friend.

இ If you notice people carefully, you can at least get the gist of what's going on in their heads, sometimes :p The other day, I was at r~'s school talking to her teacher. She smiled and talked and smiled and talked for about 15 minutes and it was almost time for us (the parents) to leave when I mentioned I had a few questions to ask. And then I watched the smile slowly recede from the corners of her face to somewhere midway and it stood there frozen. She didn't really have time for questions, it said. And she says, "Yes, sure" and I try to speak through the disconnect staring me at my face. Has that ever happened to you?

ஈ I feel like doing a million things at once. Even as I am doing a few of the million things, I think of a few more things to do to make sure it says an even million.

உI cut my hair shorter thinking it will be lesser work and maintenance. It's more. Now, I get to spend 5 minutes straightening the fuzzy ball of hair that surrounds my face, no gravity to pull it down (always wondering if I will end up like Joe from Little Women). And before you know it, I'll be one of those women spending 15 minutes every morning wearing makeup. Ha! Caught you -- that never happening!

ஊ I read a beautiful book yesterday -- The help by Kathryn Stockett Glad to have read a book that made me cry. How can you be glad at something that makes you cry?

எ Earlier, I missed India. Now, I miss India and my friends in Lex. Does that mean I miss India less since some of my 'missing' quota is taken up by Lex? I don't really miss anything else about Lex and I would really miss the food and the events in Atlanta if I were to move back, does that mean  I should subtract some from my overall 'missing' quota? Can there be a quota for 'missing'? Does it become 0? Ever?

ஏ There was this girl I know who teased me with this boy I know and then married that boy. Is that weird? I have always thought that was a weird thing to do. Maybe all the teasing made her realize she would rather be the teasee than the teaser.

ஐ And talking about that girl reminds me of how I cannot be comfortable in the presence of some people. Usually these are the people k terms, 'street-smart'. But, he claims he is 'street-smart'. Either he isn't or my tolerance has improved. I doubt it's the latter. Sometimes, I think 'street-smart' has 'cunning' and 'suspicious' for siblings.

ஒ And being suspicious of people's intentions all the time makes me exhausted. I have always taken people's statements as true and well-intentioned. Double guessing their intentions is not something I like to do. I am told I need to do that to be 'street-smart'. Yeah, I think I'll just stay naive. Thank you.

ஓ What happened to good comedy in Tamil movies? You know, like the Kadhai scene in Kadhalikka Neramillai or 'Rasam vechaa porum' by Nagesh in Galaata Kalyanam?

ஔ If you work in India, can you have garam chai at 4 PM and a samosa or two?

ஃ Ok, I need that garam chai now. Heading home. Have a good day, dear reader!


SK said...

You sound just like me :--D

RS said...


Anonymous said...

Many of us face the same dilemma

PH said...

Being the person who does not include everyone, I can tell you the other side. I like to invest time in people who will be worthy friends. For example, drop everything and rush to be at a friend's side, when she gave birth after 3 days of labor.

My get-together is quite complete with that set of worthy friends (count may even be as low as 1 or 2). I don't worry about the rest.

RS said...

Anon - hmm

PH - Taking days off work for a close friend different from inviting someone over for tea but I understand the time investment factor especially in our already time-starved lives...somehow I have never thought about it as a 'time-investment'. It's something I get from my father I guess -- the large gatherings and get-togethers and the need for them :)

© Ramya Sethuraman, All Rights Reserved.