April 01, 2008

A good fight.

Growing up means also having to realize that good fights like good laughs are rare. I tried to think of the last time I had an honest, involved fight and gave up after counting back five years. I have had fights, actually let me take the blame here, I have fought often in the past five years but they were not what I would call good fights.

They were either the lame, watery, excuse-for-a-fight-variety where I vaguely expressed displeasure and did not wait to ascertain if my displeasure was registered, you know, the kind where halfway through the fight, I backtracked and just gave up because I thought it wasn't really worth it in the big scheme of things! These fights kinda suck. The issue is not resolved, you don't have the satisfaction of having fought a good fight and there is no closure!

The other variety is the no-holds-barred loud and ugly fights, which is fine as long as I can resolve them at some point. The problem with these fights is that while you have the satisfaction of raising your voice, expressing your opinion forcefully and disagreeing disagreeably about something, the most important part of the fight is not handled correctly - the end! If you mess up the end, you have another bad fight on your hands, the kind that can end friendships or leave it in a lukewarm, comatose almost pitiful state which makes you think of the good times you had knowing you can't have it again. Just as bad as the first variety.

Which brings us to the really good fights. The ones filled with strong emotions and powerful words, tears and scorn, the kind that scares you but then eventually dies down to a resolution - ties broken for good reason or made stronger for better. These are the fights that are fought for the right reasons, they still may involve jealousy, possessiveness and traits not really treasured but they are inspired by closeness and fear of losing the relationship. Like really good movies, such fights are hard to come by. Until then, I'll be twiddling my thumbs with empty fights or none at all.

So...wanna fight?! :)


IBH said...

should i pull out my daggers ?? :) am more comfy with fist fights than word war :)

coy i truly believe in the saying - vaartaiya kottina alla mudiyadhu...

i have lost couple of good friends to such ugly fights and vowed not to repeat such fights...

SK said...

Wow, weird as it may make me sound, I totally get it! :--))
Makeingup after a real good fight is priceless!

A. Noname Moose said...

Where's your food blog?

And speaking of food, you forgot food fights. Bake a pie. For k's face. :D
Pie fight. YAY.

e said...

the best part of a good fight is the making up bit..making out even ;)!

Anonymous said...

why a blog about fights?
vilakkam thaevai!!!

RTD2 said...

I think us women are on our own here - I totally get it! Boys just don't and never will understand the closure and resolution a good fight can bring.
Btw, I haven't exactly been regular on the blogosphere but in a previous post you mentioned moving to Seattle or India - were those just examples or anything real brewing?
If you are thinking of a move, there's plenty of openings in my company in Portland for software jobs...let me know!!

RS said...

ibh - Much truth in that saying...

sk - :)

anm - Linked to the right of this blog (look for a lil picture)

e - :p

anon - particular reason, jaya :p

rtd2 - we briefly considered shifting to Seattle, did the pros/cons list etc and decided to stay put but will keep this info in mind, thanks :)

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