January 02, 2011

2011: Being myself.

When I was in school, I wanted to be like Radha Lakshmi, sometimes like this other girl Usha-something. At Bits, I wanted to be like other girls I saw -- mainly the confident ones who probably were just like me but just me minus the lack of confidence. And I am now a mom and I still wish to be like other women sometimes. Some, because I think they are just cooler and more fun to hang out with, some for their fearlessness, some for their ability to gel with all kinds of people, some for their accomplishments. But, the more I achieve, the more I want to be these other people and that doesn't give me a break. I don't look back and give myself a pat on the back ever for anything. It's always, now that that's over, what next? I didn't congratulate myself even for the home birthing attempt and tough stint at the hospital for r~. Only, when I saw the note that k had sent me, several days later, did I realize that it had been a difficult time, it was okay to acknowledge that for a second and not worry about the baby and, I had actually done a pretty good job bringing r~ into this world :p

Anyhow, 2011 is going to be me being myself. I am going (to try) to be myself and appreciate what I am and what I have. 2012 can be about being a better mom, better dancer, better wife, better blogger :p 2011 is just going to be to breathe deeply and stay still and be me. The closet is organized, the toys are picked up (or maybe not), the laundry can stay awhile in the washer but it's ok to sit back and watch "Outsourced" :) Really, it is. The show is fun and I deserve the break just for being myself.

Bring on 2011 and let me be me, for a change!

Happy new year to you all! Peace and Love.


Anonymous said...

Happy new year to you and yours RS. Always try to be you, you will not believe what you accomplish and how others envy and try to emulate you.

SK said...

Why does this sound a lot like me? :--)

Good resolution.

Happy New Year!

kamal said...

yay! :) (Loudly like kutti r says it).

duh said...

"let me be me" : no one ever had any choice in this can eliminate the wanting/trying to be different though-that's a good but tough resolution.

dinesh said...

The fact that you want to be some one else shows the humility you have. So it is a positive quality in that it brings out admiration for others & makes you want to try to be like them for those qualities. An extremely egotistic person for example would never want to be some one else because he/she thinks they are better people than that. As long as the admiration isn't to the point where there is a loss of self esteem - this is only a good thing!

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