January 28, 2010

Little RS.

What is the deal with my memory? The only solid memory I have of my early childhood (defined as 0-5 years) is my Tamil teacher at Bain school holding my notebook up to the class, "Enna muthu mutha ezhudirukaa parunga!" (Handwriting like neat pearls...) and then behind the notebook she gives me one of her trademark looks and whispers, "Note cover podu!" (Wrap your notebook with cover! You know...that brown paper cover and label?)

And that's it -- the sum total of my earlier memories. What is wrong with me?!!!! My bro, L~ can remember what he cooed when he was 6 months old (Ok, that's an exaggeration but really he remembers EVERYTHING!), my mom remembers stuff clearly from when she was five years old, dad remembers swimming in the village pond and all that good stuff from his childhood. Why am I the odd one out?

I wonder if it's like some sort of weird first child genetic defect but that theory fails since my eldest perimma has an awesome memory too. I don't really know if my dad's elder brother has a good memory but I am willing to bet he does and anyway this genetic stuff comes from the mom's side mostly right (You gotta assume some stuff to prove a theory!)?

My next memory is of being extremely traumatized when we shifted to Bangalore. I would cry for days looking at the Kannada speaking newscaster and miss our dear old Shobana Ravi. I remember this really old Kannada cook/maid we had who was there more for company than any real work! I remember my cousins turning up at B'lore to spend the summer vacation with us.

And then my next memory is my Kannada teacher "helping me out" in a class test which made me feel extremely uncomfortable and she helped me out because she is also my tuition teacher. She taught her son and me together. That was when I was say 10 years old.

I remember feeling thrilled when dad announced we would be moving back to Madras! I remember mom helping me out with my Tamil Bharatiyar essay (I insisted on taking Tamil as my third language) and I remember I came first in Tamil -- yay!

So anyway, back to the original topic -- what is the deal with my head? Where are all the older thoughts and images? Is my head doing some sanity garbage collecting stuff to prevent overloading? Maybe I am thinking too many thoughts and there's only so much your brain can hold alongside memories. Do thoughts and memories actually compete for brain space? Maybe all that theory about us using like a 0.00056 % of our actual brain capacity is not applicable in my case -- where #thoughts increase exponentially with time. In any case, I am quite upset about the whole deal. It's like I lived a whole life, ok a whole 10-15% of my life without my knowledge. Was I a happy child? Who were the people around me? What actually happened?

So yeah. If you knew me when I was anywhere between 0 - 10, please do tell me. What was I like? Did I love popsicles just like r~? Was I mischievous? Charming? Obnoxious? Pretty? Mom tells me a bunch of stories about how I was as a kid but that's not really a first person account, you know? So, I reckon, if I get a sum-total of all my childhood stories from people, I can get an over-all picture of who I was as a little person.

For now, going to be in angst until next birth.


Anonymous said...

>> I remember my cousins turning up at B'lore to spend the summer vacation with us.

And you might remember watching this movie infinite times during those visits.

Sorry, don't remember much otherwise.


duh said...

I have some keywords for you...radhalakshmi, prasad, prasanna (with their bsa-champ), holla (who started his own video shop eventually), sunny library-nancy drew/archies, complex-vijaya stores, 9th block, chinnamma teacher, piggybank problem, you guys started calling yourselves characternames from archie comics, rector, hema narayan, manjula, indrani, qsqt (with cousins),blob,trips to chennai-alangatha pillai st/eldams road, and from there to ooty(wellington),pushpa, mohana chandrashekhar, uma rani, jp avenues etc...thanku thanku

RS said...

Prem -- Hmm, I remember qayamat se...with arun and abhi...but that's about it!

L~ - Show off!

Anonymous said...

I remember watching "Thambikku Yendha Ooru" on the bangalore trips and playing cards with you/Laksh and Thatha in Wellington.
Vaguely remember your visits to Indira Nagar too..thats about it :(


Arundhati said...

Yes ramya,you were quite too..doing what ever you want through laksh!!you hated to eat!!good at making up stories even then..remember naane naana?aayiram malargale malarungal???Taking a cue from L...Z block...Balagopal raju??!! blue star..the auto guys..Shanti?the girl who was there to babysit you guys?
Moving to blore Abi&prem left out mine(&athais!)fav movie edhyathai thirudathe!!sudarshan vidhya mandir,
Iyengar bakery,sponge cakes,the mallu doc(surya?)athimber trying to teach athai to drive the car?
Qasim,Kkrishnan!!surprised that Laksh remembers blob!!
guess could go on....

RS said...

I remember Blob and Idayathai..."the scene"...but that's it. Arrg! I have no memory!

duh said...

oh cards at wellington!
904 - an advanced version of 28, which a friend of kanna maama called narayanan/natarajan was very good at.

other stuff related to wellington: ooty sightseeing - botanical, sims park, this driver called babu, stew at abhi's friend's house...

arun - the bangalore doc's name's suresh...

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