Over the hill?

So, k turned thirty and unlike me, my husband loves to celebrate his birthday with a bunch of people, so, we rented disco lights and amplifier from Doo Wop (our local music store), ordered cake from Maggi's bakery, pizzas from Joe Bolognas and we were all set. We had a blast! But, what made the party more energetic were the group of 20-somethings from the University (Yes, I get to say that although am still in my 20s - not for long though :p) - ready to dance into the night and linger over silly conversations, which was such a rare treat for me...

Anyway, seeing them reminded me of my own early 20s and I was pretty much like them - wanting to try new things out, always ready for a road trip, talking to friends late into the night...not that am very different from that now. I still do like talking to friends late into the night, I still like going on road trips, but now everything has a clearly defined boundary. The friends that visit have a set time allotted for the visit (the concept of "lingering" long forgotten...or what we call "Daira podardu" in Tamizh :), the road trips that we plan are anything but impromptu and people have their own preferences, some of which they would rather not sacrifice even for a day. So, everything has to be planned - where we eat, when we eat, where we visit, even a visit to a coffee/ice-cream shop has to be co-ordinated prior to the trip...

Sooo, where does that leave 25-30 somethings like us? The 9-5 people who look forward to weekends to relax because their weekdays are monotonous and in the process of relaxing creating yet another monotonous-routine for weekends...?

I don't know. I guess in a way, this is the life that we worked hard for but we had just pictured it differently...

All I know is that I am grateful to the unexpected visits, the long conversations, the late-night parties and the "lingerings" that still manage to occur in my life :)

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Someone's got a make-over!

Our friend insisted on a complete make-over and I though I ought to indulge her whim, after all she is close to my heart :)

I experimented with the most web-readable color-combination and it didn't look that interesting, so switched to a rather dramatic color scheme. Please bear with yours truly while the experiment with the costumes continues; the perfect shade lurks nearby, just around the corner :p

Also, not that I am being a show off but "Did you check out the cool tag cloud?"

*RS stops gushing and signs off before further damage*

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Lost dreams.

Is there anyone out there who is doing exactly what he wants to do? Getting up in the morning with a thrill that he is going to spend the day doing exactly what he likes doing. He is not doing it for money - although that is a great side-benefit - he is doing it for the one reason that he would rather not be doing anything else.

Anyone out there who hasn't claimed, "If I had the time, I would rather do this all day long!" Substitute photography, dancing, writing, being-with-the-kids for "this". And several years down the lane, does it matter that we worked so hard doing something else because we thought we had to - to make money for the bigger house, to save for retirement, for the kids' college education?

Or would we just look back as we are wont to do and say to ourselves, "I wish I had...", repenting for what we had not done?

I knew these 9 AM meetings at work were not good for me, especially since they are M,W,F meetings and for 2 consecutive weeks :(

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Doing the dishes.

Ask me to name one thing that has been around ever since k & I got married, always there to remind us of what life can offer, that "if we dish 'em out, we better be able to take it",always full, always loud and always demanding our attention, and I would reply instantly (like those annoying first-bench students in school who would raise their hands even before the teacher asked the question - I, on the other hand, was cool, I sat on the second bench, NOT the first! Ok, aside over, back to topic now->)...where was I? You know what? I am not very fond of asides, as my Professor once said, "If you think something's important enough to put in parenthesis, you might as well make it part of the original sentence". Anyway, back to our constant companion:

"The Sink!" (accompanied with drumroll)

You are now going to ask me if I have had too much of coffee or javascript for the day and perhaps, I should blog at a time when my brain decides to construct relatively saner thoughts? And I would say, "Ah ha!".

Actually, I would say, "Let me explain why" but I would probably throw in the "Ah ha" too - it make such an impression in a conversation, don't you think?

Where was I? The sink. Yes, our long association (especially k's looong association) with the sink began during our marriage - nalangu (the fun and games part of a TamBram wedding). I had a small container of dal and k had to convince me to give him the dal and this is what followed:

"Please give me the dal"

Lol (like that would work!)

"I will buy you a saree/piece of jewellery/something cute if you give me the dal"

"Gee, thanks! But, no thanks!"

"Ok, tell me what you want..."

(Now we are talking!) "Promise to do the dishes the first three months after our wedding"

And things were going pretty much according to plan (mine) when k's mom, who until then was busy chatting with her sisters, suddenly turned to k and asked, "So, what did she ask" and after being informed of my demand, she said, "Whaaa? My son is not going to do the dishes! Poooor Kamal" etc. k, predictably, beamed.

I, being the docile, shy bahu etc smiled and looked down and gave k the dal.

Scene change. Fast-forward a year into our marriage and you will see "beaming k" loading the dishes carefully into the dishwasher (hey! don't give me that look, I cook and unload the dishwasher!)

Scene change. We are at B&P's place and have just had tea. I rinse my mug at the sink and k follows. But we notice that he spends an extra long time at the sink. Apparently, their sink (like ours) is unhappy with k and wishes to gush out in anger at him.

Scene change. We are at work and I walk into the break area at around 10 AM and whom do I see there but my dear husband, staring morosely at the office sink. It clogged too!

And that's when k made peace with his constant companion, the kitchen sink. They clog less when he's around now and he in turn, treats them with the TLC that a faithful companion deserves!

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Yakity, yakity, yak.

Last weekend, one of my friends from Chicago visited Lex with her husband, daughter and parents. We were room-mates at UK several years back and it was really nice to catch up. She gave me latest updates from her life and I kept going, "Oh, you are?", "Oh cool, I didn't know!"; she told me she tried to keep in touch with our "gang" from UK and I caught myself wondering why I did not. I told her I was not much of a phone-person, I communicate better through email or in-person, but wondered if that was really true. I mean, however awkward I am on phone, a phone call now and then would have helped me catch up with her life...so, I promised her I would try to stay in touch at least from now on.

Her trip reminded me of this book I read that said women feel an extra surge of happiness than men when they talk, "relate" with each other. It went on to explain why women talk so much more than men and how they are capable of talking most if not all the time - a question that periodically baffles k, every few months he forgets the question intrigued him in the first place and proceeds to ask again :)

My friend's trip just made me realize how accurate the book was. We do like to yak, don't we? We (I?) talk to fill uncomfortable gaps, we need to talk to feel close, talk to remove frustration, talk to express...(one of my friends told me, "You know, you don't really have to express every single thought/feeling that crosses your head!") sometimes, we talk just for the sake of talking :)

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Ganesha and his trunks!

Image source: http://www.skinbase.org/

Dancer's block. That's what I have.

My teacher says, "The words, expressions, emotions that flow through your pen...I need you to bring it to your face. You need to allow yourself to emote. You need to feel the dance...and be the dance."

I try really hard but the magnificent expression that lights a good dancer's visage fails to alight on mine. The harder I try to be a happy dancing Ganesha, the more confused I look. A confused Ganesha dancing, looking at his feet every now and then, sometimes with two trunks instead of one - I am supposed to sway the left hand against my left ear to indicate Ganesha's ear and move my right hand like his trunk; instead I sway both hands enthusiastically, Ganesha's two trunks dancing to their own rhythm!

And if I struggle thus for a happy dancing Ganesha, how will I show a terrifying monster, a ruthless demon, Shiva performing his rudra tandav? How will I express love, how will my eyes show, not talk, kindness and courage?

Ah, those days will come. For now, Ganesha and his Ananda Narthana beckon. This time, he will have one trunk, not two :)

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That safe place called home...

exists in Atlantis!

Where can I begin...let's see:

1. I thought my water was safe...

2. I thought my floors were safe...

3. I thought my air was safe...

4. I thought my food was safe...

5. I thought my habits were safe...

You get the point.

Blah, what a bleak post! Promise to post something optimistic soon!

Edited: And then L sends me this cartoon, oh well!

Source of cartoon: EveryDayEcon, CartoonBank.com

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:-( -----> :-)

So, I thought I would post photos from Georgetown Kite Fest. But, for some reason, I just don't "feel up to it". I feel like moping for no justifiable reason. Maybe it's because I woke up with a start at 7.30 AM with the thought that I had made a coding mistake! So weird, but I had actually saved a password that I should not have saved to source control. So, I went rushing to my laptop even without my cup-a-coffee and tried to "fix" my mistake as best as I could (Turned out it wasn't such a big deal, my colleague told me, "Don't sweat it, Ramya, we all make mistakes!" which was nice of him). Then, I spent a tensed morning half-concentrating, half-worrying about a presentation I had to give in the afternoon. And come afternoon, all the nice things that can and will go wrong did go wrong. I fumbled to project my laptop screen to the projector screen - Fn F7 just refused to work for me! Then, I had trouble pulling the stupid projector screen down. Then the meat of it - the actual presentation - and I heard my voice whispering to myself and shaking - quite a feat! And because, I was so nervous, I gave a 2 second demo instead of what should have been at least a 2 minute demo. Anyway, it's quite unfair to let the few of you still reading this post leave on a not-so-thrilled note like this (I blame it all on the faulty female hormones), so I am going to fight my moping ghost away and upload some pics!



See (talking to myself, you obviously do see), all I needed to do was a collage of bright and sunny photos with smiling faces and I feel better already :)...although I did think the kite-fest organizers were just going to approach us to say, "Ahem...you all have been here for more than 6 hours and really, you are the last people left at the park, could you kindly, you know, go home?!"

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Sunday routine!

One good thing about watching this on Sundays is this.

Most of the recent articles I read seem to claim multi-tasking is bad, this worked out ok for me, though :)

Oh, also, I like Anbudan (marks the end of the weekend to me) although the lucky people who get to watch other desi channels claim Anu Hassan's talk show is much better...

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Sometimes...

I lose faith in humanity.

Remember how people claim, big problems can be solved by small changes, by you and me?

How?

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Similarly crazy!

You know the moment when you know you have connected with someone? That moment changes everything. You go from listening to empathizing. It can happen in the middle of a conversation or out of the blue and you have the "Aha" moment, the moment when you know exactly what the other person is talking about. I can never truly understand what you feel because I am intimately familiar with my thoughts, I hear them in my head and I know exactly how I feel. But, when you talk, I hear the words, translate them in my head and try to make sense of them. Sometimes, I don't do such a good job of translating them and they don't make sense to me (courtesy - Stumbling on happiness). But in spite of being two different people, there are moments such as these when we almost think as one. I call it, being "similarly crazy". Because at some level, we all are crazy but being crazy together? That experience is something special.

Philosophy aside, I managed two stories in a row! Some wise person once said (Was it me? I can't remember but it always sounds authentic when you begin a sentence with "Some wise person once said..." :p ) "If you want to do a better job of writing, do it everyday. Write. Write. Write. It may sound like gibberish to you initially, but it gets better." So, that's what I do. Gibberish or not. I write because I have to. And I want to.

I titled my short story, "Rayin Snegam" (Rayil = train, Snegam = love, affection, friendship...). I couldn't find an equivalent in English. I began the story with an intent to try something different - use many short sentences instead of awkwardly long sentences. But half-way through, I forgot all about the short sentences and followed where the story took me, a mish-mash of thoughts from the books I have been reading recently (Stumbling on... and Maximum city), the ever-present nostalgia that all NRIs deal with and how life changes in a moment - the regular stuff :p

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Whew!

Managed to cook up a story.

Theme? Love story. What? Don't tell me you are surprised!

Be nice with your comments now. It's 12.30 am after all and my brain cells are only partially engaged in the process of intelligent thought.

Also, watch out for a deliberately vague ending, am hoping it's not really that vague :p

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Object Oriented Thinking.

If you are not programatically inclined, the code below just proves the point that I spend the major part of my day thinking thoughts that are not really worth thinking (you might want to read the stuff in green though). I spend the few precious minutes left behind (if any) thinking the thoughts that I really ought to be thinking. So why did I post this class below if I know the result already?

Because this is one crazy space (nothing extraordinary goin' on up there) and I plan to maintain it that way :p

/*
* Class to estimate how I end up spending all the time
* in my life. Best results when program is executed every
* 6 months and results compared.
*/
package com.lex.rs.thoughts;

public class ThoughtsOfRS
{
public static final boolean confused = true;
public static final long SECONDS_IN_DAY = 43200;
public static final long MAX_TRIVIAL = 10000;
public static final long MAX_RANDOM = 5000;
public static final long MAX_CRITICAL = 5000;
public static final long MAX_PAST = 5000;
public static final long MAX_FUTURE = 5000;
public static final long MAX_HYPOTHETICAL = 5000;
public static final long MAX_INDIA = 5000;

//Variable introduced after k explained that my previous class
//assumed I would think trivial thoughts all day long!

protected long actualTrivialTime = 0;

ThoughtsOfRS()
{
//Note that this does not honor the SECONDS_IN_DAY field.
while(confused)
{
think();
}
}

public void think()
{
initTrivialThoughts();
initRandomThoughts();
initCriticalThoughts();
initPastThoughts();
initFutureThoughts();
initWorthyThoughts();
}

public void initTrivialThoughts()
{
long startTime = System.currentTimeMillis();
brain.getTrivialThoughtsFromCache();
brain.processTrivialThoughts();
brain.recheckProcessing();
brain.storeChurnedThoughtsToCache();

long endTime = System.currentTimeMillis();

actualTrivialTime += endTime - startTime;

if (actualTrivialTime > MAX_TRIVIAL)
{
brain.storeChurnedThoughtsInLongTermMemory();
addToLoadForTomorrow();
actualTrivialTime = 0;
return;
}
else
{
initTrivialThoughts();
}
}

//Similar methods for random, future, past, hypothetical and
//critical thoughts in decreasing order of importance.

public void initWorthyThoughts()
{
long otherTime = MAX_CRITICAL + MAX_FUTURE + MAX_HYPOTHETICAL;
otherTime += MAX_INDIA + MAX_PAST + MAX_RANDOM + MAX_TRIVIAL;
long worthyTime = SECONDS_IN_DAY - (otherTime);
//As of current estimate, I get a whopping 3200 seconds to
//think all of my worthy thoughts !
}
}
/*
* If the GOF ever read this program, they would definitely publish this
* as a classic antipattern. Oh well, as long as I get my name on a published
* book...*sheepish grin*
*/

/*
* If you work with me, just fyi this is my evil twin who doesn't know a
* thing about programming.
*/

/*
* And if you are wondering about the weird green and yellow color theme (I know this link is not blue, but humor me and click it anyway :p)
*/

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Personal finance!

Short break from regular post ->

Found this in Anupama's blog...my visual DNA :)

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Regular post continues ->

Now, there's a title you would not see again on my blog posts :)

So, my (comparatively) financially-aware husband decided to start a small investment club here, a pretty informal weekly gathering where we brainstorm financial ideas, discuss strategies to become rich in a few weeks and regularly implement ideas to save money and the world at large. I wish! Anyway, we do manage to meet as regularly as possible (movies, icecreams and napping have higher priority, of course) and discuss personal finance and related topics. k updates his blog (yes, it has been revived from it's semicomatose state and is now trying to hobble back to life, please provide incentives to revive said space :p).

So, inspired by his blog valiantly fighting for life, I also decided to revive the financially side of my peaceful brain (which has been largely dormant, one could also use adjectives such as doltish, dumb...you get the point) and voilà! we have a presentation!



Also, I made this nice pie chart with our controllable expenses divided into nice wedges, spent a good one hour on it, didn't want to miss a chance to brag although I did have to remove the chart out of the presentation because this is on the big, bad www....shudder!

Back to comfortable dormancy. S'long.

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Marriage, workplace and related 100% nonsense!

Their hands remain locked in an intimate embrace throughout the get-together. Now and then, she smiles at a joke and leans casually towards him, gently touches his shoulder and shares a private joke with him-a small family secret just between them-and he smiles indulgently. When dinner is served, he stands in line for her, chivalrously balances two plates and hands one of his plates to her. She says something along the lines of “Thank you, dear” and he replies, a look of serious concern on his handsome face, “I took some extra salad for you, you do like cherry tomatoes, don’t you?” And he is right. How can he not be? They are the perfect couple. They are pleasant, charming, absolutely in love and totally faking it.

While it is nice to imagine rosy sequences like above, real life is more like this:

He drives over the speed-limit because they are late for the party. She holds on to dear life and promptly requests that her husband slow down, now! She cares for her dear life even if he doesn’t! His response does a good job of matching her sarcasm. And finally they arrive at the party. They immediately go separate ways as if the party has just relieved them of their almost unbearable prior company. They eat standing away from each other and they don’t know if their spouse has eaten yet, perhaps they don’t care. They sulk and prefer silence to social niceties like nodding and uh-uh-ing at appropriate intervals. They drive back in silence.

I guess, most of us fall somewhere in-between. We have some good days and some not-so-good ones. And for couples like us that work at the same office, there are several interesting ways to extend a fight. Summarized below are just a few examples:

1) We now have a set of virtual channels customized just to enable and further our arguments! Hey! I can ping him on chat, send him an email or walk over to his cube to tell him what I have already told him on the way to work – “You are wrong!” And surprise, he can respond back, again, with “No, You are not.”

See? Not only have we enriched our lives by spending more quality (fighting) time with each other, we have found meaningful ways to diversify the channels along which our arguments flow!

2) Then, there is the drive. The drive to work, the drive from work, the drive to lunch and back where we can further analyze and reiterate our points of view. Good food and good chemistry! Now, who can beat that?

3) Now, ask me how else we are contributing not only to our marital entertainment but to the good of everyone and I will tell you – we car pool! That means, we get up on time and go to work at the same time and leave at the same time. This seemingly innocuous activity has further strengthened our bonds. We can now have healthy arguments with each other like – “I need to be at work for a meeting at 8.30AM” and pat comes the reply, “It’s already 1 AM, I don’t think I can get up in time for your meeting.” See how we have so many more interesting riddles to solve? I mean, how boring is it to drive separate ways and come back in the evening to spend an hour describing the day’s activities to your spouse! Nah, we like to have healthy discussions about when we wake up, go to work and return, everyday! It’s like vitamin pills for a marriage!

4) And if you are an organized woman like most women are, who truly believes that "Cleanliness is next to Godliness", even though it's a cliche, maintains lists and classifies chores as his, hers and ours, firstly, you should rename your lists to be more specific like - his chores inside the house, his chores for the yard, miscellaneous cleaning activities, her kitchen chores...(getting carried away, focus now!), secondly, you can now ping him on chat once an hour and remind him to check his tada-list, how cool is that?! You have thus proven that you are a successful house-keeper (home-builder? Whatever the current catchy phrase is) while still being a career woman! Three cheers to you!

And in conclusion, I recommend that couples work together at the same office and marital stress will be a thing of the past!

And thus ends my essay (of course, it was fiction! What did you think? :p) titled: “Short-term and long-term effects of workplace on married folks!” or “Why couples should work together!”

Note: Until brain returns back to sanity and writing returns back to tolerable, do please put up with bits and pieces of nonsense such as the above. Thanks.

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Whimsical Raconteur has moved!

Well not exactly, am still at http://whimsicalraconteur.blogspot.com but protected.

Please email me at whimsicalraconteur@gmail.com for access to my short-story blog or leave a comment to this post with your gmail-id. Thanks.

Apologies for the inconvenience.

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Interactions!

Strange how people "connect". I watch k interact with his friends, lifelong buddies and wonder if they ever discuss anything seriously. To an outside viewing the interaction, all he picks up are cues that point to a superficial, "fun" group dynamics. I mean you don't have to greet each other formally and proclaim your everlasting bond, but at some point in your relationship, you should have discussed something with seriousness, perhaps something that makes you vulnerable, something you did not dare to discuss with anyone else or perhaps something like "Will she say yes?" :)...because that's the kind of talk that brings people closer together, right?

Maybe not. k tells me that's not how guys interact, at least not by discussing deeply personal stuff and being comfortable in the pregnant pauses, but by making fun of each other and hiding emotions behind verbal spars and "jolly" talks. He thinks I live in a world entrenched in drama, my friends (especially women) and I playing our roles to dramatic (uptight?) perfection. He does not mean to say that we are in any way superficial in our interactions or overplay our responses deliberately, just that we are by nature drama queens and kings. We discuss esoteric topics like parallel universes and some less esoteric ones like the meaning of life; we discuss feelings - "You hurt me by saying this", "In a few years, will we remain this close?"; we discuss the ubiquitous R2I confusions; we talk about friends that were once close to us - "He hardly calls anymore...", "No emails from her for the past six months :(" and at times, we indulge in idle talk, empty chatter and plain nonsense (ah! How I miss my Bitsian days).

You get the idea. That is my typical interaction with my friends. So, when I watch k talk to his friends, it's a very strange phenomenon (to me). They go to great lengths to make fun of each other, exchange some well-known "gaalis" then proceed to discuss and laugh about topics ranging from the incredible to the downright ridiculous. To understand this type of bonding, I once decided to join in on the "fun", I tried to keep up with the jokes and trivial talks and laugh and bond. But, I guess I tried too hard because I sounded silly to myself (you know the little voice in your head that talks to you simultaneously when you talk to others? Well, it said, "Ramya, you sound silly" and signed off). I guess it will take a few more iterations before I perfect the art of this style of friendship.

Because, hidden beneath the banal talks and jibes, I do sense a kind of bonding. Not the weak kind. But then k would say I am just dramatizing things.

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It's that time of the year again!

Did I get this as a birthday present from k?

Or this? Or gasp! this?

No, he fixed this instead for my birthday.

I am so thrilled about it! No more squeaking, no more leaking! A shiny stainless steel knob that rotates smoothly!

Yay! Happy Birthday to an older and wiser me! (Just stacking up my comebacks for tomorrow, let's see, I can also say, "I am older and wiser", "aging gracefully", "more mature"...)

Yes, I have officially lost it. At 28 :p :) :)

Hey! I didn't mean to announce my birthday but you really should see the new faucet, it's shiny and sparkling and...oh never mind, I already said that. I may repeat myself but am older and wiser. Darn it! I repeated that too! Thrice!

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Back to India?

So, I've been mulling over this for years (four to be precise - I spent the the first 2 and a 1/2 years ahem...studying for my Masters and the next 1/2 year frantically looking for a job here). So for four years, I have revisited the same argument:

To pack up and go back to India for good vs staying put.

It seems to me that NRIs suffer from a "Kal'la Chakram" syndrome (badly translates to a wheel bound to our legs :p); we want to leave India desperately (alright, don't huff and puff now, "Some of us, not all" - there, happy now?) to come here for whatever reason - in pursuit of a higher academic milieu, in pursuit of $, in pursuit of comfort and happiness - and then you would think that we bask in the glory of our achievements and look at the world with the equivalent of a satisfied burp? Naah, we want to run like the wind!

Back to India!

We talk about it at length, some of us dare to pack up and go back, some of us go back and then come running back and then there are the rest of us, that just talk about it. On and on, an unending stream of arguments, never tiring of playing the devil's advocate...a few of us even claim to have found "home" here in the US, and then wonder in the middle of the night if we still have enough reasons to support that claim and then we fall asleep wondering. Maybe our dreams will point us in the right direction?

By now, I have heard arguments from different sections of people, each section in itself offering different viewpoints, all true, quite interesting and conflicting:

- the back-then NRIs

The original settlers, "Back in 1976 your uncle traveled all the way to US with just Rs.500 in hand..." - those people. Comfortably wealthy, trademark SUV and a car, 2 kids, custom-made puja room in own house, meets with other such NRIs every weekend for potlucks and such.

They are (seem?) happy in America and do not have any intentions of traveling back to India.

- the aspiring NRIs

Finished Masters, found a job, just-married, looking for a house, planning on starting a family.

This group has started thinking about going back to India, but probably won't. I mean, visualize the excited look in her eyes as she picks out the right throw pillows for the couch or the right curtains for the hall. Think of the happy glint on his face (Wife happy-->No nagging-->husband happy :) They are just way too excited to move on with their life here to consider going back seriously.

But every other weekend discusses going back with friends, cousins, parents, anyone who would listen! Misses home.

- visiting US for a short project (work related)

Inspired by the life style here, pleasantly surprised with the traffic, wide roads, cleanliness and general comforts this country has to offer but also miss home a lot. May/may not go back. Definitely considering (at least talking about) going back for good.

- in India.

Never seen America. Don't plan to or want to (but might yield to childrens' pleas :)

My parents for instance and probably yours too :) What kind of a culture will the grandkids grow up with? What if they want to date, eat meat, marry a "foreigner"?

(There are several groups of NRIs that fall in between these categories; irrespective of the category, the confusion remains!)

Of course these are also concerns of the younger age-groups showcased above, along with which they also worry about their parents back in India. Why not just drop everything and go back to your parents? Maybe you can't, maybe you need the money for your parents' medicare back in India, for a sister's wedding...(Yeah, yeah, "thoda filmy", I know but life is stranger than fiction and life inspires fiction, not the other way around). And thus we let ourselves get pulled into a discussion that will never conclude until we go back for good. Or we eventually wake up one day and realize it's our Sashtiabdhapoorthi tomorrow and our kids don't even know what it is! Maybe they will know - "Mom, pop touched 60, ain't that like awesome?! Totally rad! Let's go like party!")

If you are a woman reading this post, you will of course know that we have a slew of additional issues to consider - day care in the US (too expensive, feel too guilty, your kid catches a ear infection from another kid every other week; back to India? No part-time, long work hours; Stay-at-home-mom - loss of confidence, "Am I a burden?", "I am worth nothing" and related positive feelings :)

Bah.







Maybe we are just stuck like the man in the hamster wheel running away from now, to relive his past in the future?







Just like we came here to the promised land, in pursuit of several promises, some of us go back in pursuit of what we left behind. Some of us don't. I don't know for sure what I am pursuing now.

Maybe it's as simple as...happiness.

Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/

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10 things to think of when I am bored. Yawn.

Need. Food. For. Thought. Bored.

So, I thought I'd take control of the situation and think happy thoughts and see if that brightens my day a little. Let's see...I'll stick to the recent past just because it's easier to recall happy incidents from the recent past. No. Energy. To. Think. Back. To. Not-so-recent. Past. Because, I am bored, duh!

Without further ado (I could have said adieu, but this is hardly a farewell post; All this language business is boring me now, so without further fuss), I present to you (I don't really like to present anything, it makes me stupid and I become this person with a five word repertoire, three of which are, "Umm" and its variations, but then it'd be silly of me to say, "I write" instead of "I present"...boredom vs silliness, it's all one silly business, I tell you, these language purists just make our lives that much more difficult)...

Where was I? Oh yeah, things that make me happy:

1. Watching an old English movie with a cup of Graeter's butter pecan sundae (I love movies - all of them - English, Tamil, Hindi but somehow this ice cream goes with an old English classic).

2. The feel of snow flakes on my face - especially the first few minutes of a light snow fall (I recommend not more then five minutes of this activity - I am a very warm person :p)

3. The feeling of satisfaction that I get after cooking something exactly to specification (which is not something I do often, cooking to specification, I mean, not cooking in itself!) and having it taste divine, just the way I wanted it to taste!

4. Silliness - different from childishness or buffoonery, just plain, old-fashioned silliness. You know? You don't? That's okay, you'll catch up eventually! :p

5. Dancing - know the phrase, "dancing like no one's watching"?, that kind of dancing.

6. The energetic feel after a good hour swimming or @ the gym - I can't believe I have this here on this list, but hey, gym beats an after-work evening nap any day!

7. A nice 45 minute spent reading before sleeping and going to sleep on time! I always plan to sleep on time but somehow succumb to a lot more reading than I planned or start late and eventually go to sleep at 1 am, which is not what I planned in the first place! So, the few rare nights that I get to read and sleep on time, I feel really good about myself!

8. Talking to ma and pa on the phone and laughing about something that only we find funny, like an inside family joke :)

9. Preparing (ahem...creative) gifts, such a high, I tell you!

10. Doing a small good deed (or a bigger one, for that matter)
- giving a sincere compliment,
- leaving an extra big tip during holiday season,
- taking the first turn to say sorry - although, I just hate it when I take the initiative to say sorry to set right a mis-understanding and the other person comes back with a "Yeah, that wasn't right..." blah blah. Geez! Just be glad I wasn't as stuck-up as you and actually meant and said, "Sorry!" (So this one's a conditional feel-good thingie)

10 points; not so bad, considering this is a post written by one super-bored person! Come to think of it, am not so bored anymore (I just transferred it to you with this post :p)!

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Yes, lucidly written!

That little black box hidden behind layers and layers of sane, white in your head and mine, waiting for the right time to spill its black outside…Do you know what lies in that black box?

Fear.

Cold, dark fear.

Not the kind that you confess to friends and perhaps even laugh about, not the kind that dances for a few uneasy seconds in your mind and drifts away just as easily, but the kind that has an unnerving, churning, wringing grip on your stomach, the kind that fills your mouth with a bitterness that won’t go away no matter how hard you swallow, the kind that nudges you awake from deep sleep and you realize you are sweating and you are scared to open your mouth because you don’t know if you can cry for help…

That kind of fear.

Fear that some of us, the lucky ones, feel only in the middle of the night - when it’s too late to be called night but too dark to see light, when time does not exist and night blends into day.

The unlucky ones? They feel it even in the middle of the day, for a few seconds when the birds seems to have stopped mid-song, when even dogs don’t bark, the walls suddenly close in on them, without warning and then they feel...fear. Just them and the creatures of their imaginations (or perhaps a reality so aberrant, they (we) don’t, can’t even acknowledge its true nature?) – the ugly, putrid, misshapen gnomes, luring them into the dark caves of their own selves, filled with evil thoughts and terrifying accidents, ghosts of the past, secrets that have been entertained but hidden and locked away. But no-one, not you or me can stay lucky for long. Can we? Sooner or later, the dark world of our fears catch up with us, a race with a predetermined result. We still run the race, hoping to outrun the black cloud of our own imprisoned feelings, the what-ifs and hushed thoughts hiding behind the screens of our defenses and then one day, we can no longer run, we can only wait for the cloud to descend, to weaken, to break our spirits…

Perhaps you hear it (if you listen closely) when you are under water, when your feet can no longer touch the bottom, and your face is hidden away from light, when you are in another world, a blue world with the dulcet sounds of water. One moment you see the bubbles in front of you, you are laughing and floating at ease.

And the next moment, perhaps you closed your eyes for a second of rest and everything changes - the sounds die down in a whoosh and it’s as if, the bright blue world turns a nasty, inky black, the warm water turns frigid – the hackles in your neck stand up, your arms and legs flail desperately and then drop down flaccid. You stop struggling because a voice whispers, “Hush now! There is only one way to go!”, until you no longer see the bubbles or the blue, but only feel an uncomfortable creeping sensation...as the swirling black vortex swallows you…down, down, down.

Cold, alone, scared.

That kind of fear.

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x

Blame this little snippet on Lisey's story (not for the weak-hearted) or my little swimming accident. Fear is universal. Real fear lurks just under the surface in all of us, waiting, waiting...have you ever felt real fear?

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What's cooking?!

To make up for my lack of meaningful, interesting posts here and @ whimsical-raconteur (which a~ helpfully pointed out to me on phone - "Say, what's up with your blog? You hardly blogged about anything interesting nowadays!" :p Notice he didn't say, "You haven't blogged in a while", that would have been face-saving :)), I present today's menu!

Trying to replace colorful words with a colorful assortment of foods!

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Are we there yet?

No. Not now, not ever. We are never where people assume we are or even where we assume we should be. So, what exactly am I talking about?! Time and age, to give you a short (cryptic?) answer.

I’ve seen it happen too often for me to ignore it. When I reached my 20s, I couldn’t believe that I was no longer a teenager. When I graduated with a Master’s degree, I couldn’t believe that I was a working professional and not a PIGS (Poor Indian Graduate student) anymore. Two batches of students had successfully started or perhaps even finished their Graduate study by the time I graduated! I was actually advising them about courses and I just finished being on the receiving end of the same advice!

My office colleague once told me, “You know, I was here in this play pen with my 1 year old daughter and someone there called me a mommy and I didn’t respond. It took me sometime to realize that I was the mommy now!”

Me? I am going to be 30 in a few years, the big three-O. Liquor Barn has a whole aisle dedicated to birthday jokes, caps, greetings that convey pretty much the same messageyou are no longer climbing the hill; you have begun descending the other side of the hill. Yes, I have heard the adage - You are as young/old as you think you are. And then again, are you? It would be quite silly of me to act like a teenager now but that's how I feel (want to be?)...

I remember when I received my first mail addressed cheerily to Mrs.Shah and I just did not make the connection. “Mrs? That mail is not for me. I am just a girl.” A girl trying to adapt to being a woman, still…8 years have passed since I was a teenager and I am still adapting. And before I can adapt to being a woman, an adult, I will soon be a mom and then an aunt and so on.

We are never there. Are we?

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Are you really a vegetarian?!

So, this gets more interesting. That's why aunty *insert familiar name here* always used to say, while also waggling a warning finger, "Don't keep reading all that nonsense on the computer" - it was always "computer", not internet, the poor machine got the blame each time :)

So what did I read on the computer? Among many other websites, I have recently started reading the Mahanadi food blog and am hooked! She has a variety of healthy recipes that always surprise me with their flavors - I tried 4-5 recipes (notice how subtly I linked to my food blog here - so cool :p) so far and almost all of them have received a nod from k.

So, that's the background. Today, I was reading through her recipes for pasta and noticed her comment on how American foods that look vegetarian aren't really so. She lists table salt, sugar, cheese among other things. And I faithfully googled about animal products in day-to-day foods that I eat and shocked myself.

So, That's a whole bunch of paragraphs beginning with so, so to not lose the trend... :)

So, if you are among the few fighting a losing war (eating vegetarian food) and are interested in alternatives, here's what I found:

Sugar - try looking for labels that say that animal-cruelty-free or just look for organic evaporated cane sugar/juice and you should be safe. Regular refined sugar might use charcoal made from animal bones in the process of refining sugar. Brown sugar makes the cut though plus it is yummy!

Salt - haven't been able to figure out what animal product goes into making salt? But, for now, I have decided to switch to sea salt instead of regular salt. Heard many good things about sea salt, remember to look for sea salt with iodine though.

Honey - Reading about the procedure involved makes me want to puke, maybe I'll just switch to good ole' maple syrup or sugar and water instead of honey.

Cheese - Look for cheese products that say "no animal ingredients", rennin means the cheese is not vegetarian. You might want to just buy "Horizon Organic Cheese" - they declare - 'No animal products'and I trust them - hey! you gotta trust someone!

Milk, Yoghurt, milk products, pastries, cereal, jelly - Look for products/bottles that do not contain "gelatin". K or Kosher does not necessarily mean the product is vegetarian.

Fur, leather, silk, down - we already know the story here. So, I'll skip the lecture here.

Shampoo, conditioner, soap, pills - this is a tough one. Organic stuff in this category that say "not tested on animals" are usually pretty expensive and some pills might not have a vegetarian alternative. So, can't do much here. And don't trust those shiny red apples you see in the grocery store, who knows what was sacrificed for the sake of "shine"?

So before you throw a mildly-shocked look at me and declare, "Oh, I don't eat mushrooms or garlic. I am a pure vegetarian!", do take a look at these links.

Hmm...on second thoughts, you are better off not reading all this and feeling bad about it, ignorance is bliss. Indeed.

References:
http://www.boutell.com/vegetarian/sugar-honey.html
http://www.vegetarian-restaurants.net/OtherInfo/FoodContainMeat.htm
Organic Food Stores @ Lex (expensive! but hey you can buy yourself some peace of mind and that's definitely worth it!) - Good Foods Coop and Wild Oats.

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Guess who?!

Recognize the boy on the left? First one to guess the right answer gets a million dollars...hmm...better still, gets special mention @ mosakutti.blogspot.com :p

Foto from Reader's Digest.

Edited: And IBH and Sb got it right!

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Pizza competition @ home!

k's fancy pizza versus anm's artistic pizza?

I say my Kanu plate wins the prize :)

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Lex, KY to Lawrence, KS

I spent an interesting week in Lawrence, Kansas. Am going to be a lazy blogger and just upload a few photos and let them do the talking (I'll add my 2 cents inbetween of course!)
We rented a PT-Cruiser at Kansas City and drove to Lawrence. Man! People meant it when they said, "Kansas? The drive to Kansas is one long, flat, boring drive!" The PT-Cruiser was a different story though. Interesting attributes - a vivid purple body color and a funny shape (reminded me of Mater from "Cars" :p) The picture here should give you a better idea!



I didn't quite catch all the "Hawk" stores and "Hawk" street names (JayHawk boulevard) until I began to notice the slightly serious-funny looking bird everywhere on campus. I've asked p~ to get me a souvenir next time she comes to Lex. p~ (k's sister, Payal) gets to study @ the University of Kansas for the next two years. I wish I could go to school there, a nice literature degree or something, hmm...



For someone who has spent 6 years in a mid-sized (oh, alright...small) town like Lexington, the buildings at the University of Kansas seemed pretty grand to me. They have several libraries, some of them much bigger than our famous Youngs library (Sigh! And I thought we had one of the best libraries in the country).



k and I absolutely loved the cafeteria on campus - there was this "make-your-own-pasta" center where you get to pick the pasta, the vegetables to go with it, herbs and sauce of your choice. I tried a few, let's say, "interesting" combinations and it all tasted great. k had to be dragged out of that place. He wanted to have breakfast, lunch and dinner there and insisted that I click a picture of the best garlic bread he ever tasted!



While p~ had a lot of work to do, orientation and all that, we pretty much chilled and stuffed ourselves with as much food as we could. There was this one neat Thai place called "Zen Zero", if you don't mind oily but very-very tasty food, this is one great place to try. Err...you can't see much of "Zen Zero" in this picture, but you can catch our satisfied smiles :)




The temple at Kansas City was not empty, considering it was a cold weekday morning. Except for the slightly loud bhajan on the stereo, I enjoyed the visit.







We made a short trip to the Nelson-Atkins museum. We enjoyed the museum from the err...outside. It was freezing and the museum had closed :p The parking attendant returned our money back...talk about mid-western niceness! Inscribed on the walls of the museum were these words: "Art deals with things forever incapable of definition that belong to love, beauty, joy, and worship. The shapes, powers and glory of which are forever building, unbuilding, and rebuilding in each man's soul and in the soul of the whole world."

How does that saying go? That you are never too old to fall in love?

Amen.

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Cheers!

We all make ambitious new resolutions, promises for a bright future; we ask our friends to give us that gentle nudge when we digress from our well-thought-out plans to have a better, healthier, richer life. What we often forget is the need to congratulate ourselves for our small achievements, to give ourselves that little pat on our backs for small courtesies, good karma and any contribution by us to make some other person's day brighter. What we almost always forget is to congratulate ourselves and revel a little bit on obstacles we have crossed, on drops of sweat and tears that we have shed to give something away to gain something else, to take that difficult last step to reach a milestone...

Maybe it was to gain a degree, to build a house, to get a new job...maybe it was as simple as calling up an old friend to say sorry. Whatever the situation, we did forego our comforts, ego or perhaps sleep(!) to achieve what we achieved.

So, here's to all the small achievements in our lives. Here is a post not to make new resolutions but just to feel good about resolutions of the past that we have managed to keep up. Here's to our good intentions and hard days of work. A post to say, "Congratulations! That was good work. Take a break and have a good year ahead!"

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Women! Go figure!

Women are supposed to be unpredictable, emotional, sentimental and way-out-there crazy at times. Being a predictable woman who tries not to make things too complicated by conforming to established notions, my range of moods fits the general category of women-moods. One womanly attribute that men can't seem to fathom is their ability to chatter about issues ranging from eye-brow tweezing and how much of sage or oregano to add to your soup to women's rights and questions dealing with existential paradoxes (I just made up that word but, man! it sounds so...intellectual).

This womanly chatter can range from a few seconds to a few hours, it's hard to say what captures our fancies at that instant. And I tell you, while men make great listeners, understanding spouses and flexible friends ("I want to eat only desi khana today, even if its greasy, fatty and is probably reducing my life-span by a considerable amount!" - they smile and nod and tag along, all for our selfish-selves), they just are not meant to understand or contribute to this kind of chatter.

"You spent an hour discussing what?!"

"Hair coloring. You see, we can use henna and herbal products and be oh-so-natural or we can for home-coloring-kits or we can go to the parlor and get a professional color shine if we are willing to spend a few dollars more."

"Ok, so what did you discuss for the remaining 55 minutes?"

"I just told you!"

Stuff like that. The purely girly thrill that we get by indulging in these trivialities is something that is beyond the grasp of your regular male brain. I don't often get the chance to indulge in girly talks but I always feel great after one of those rare, giggly, girly talks. And before you can snicker, let me point out that they are not always trivial talks, we also like to talk about issues facing women, women-power and how we need to stand up for ourselves. I particularly like talking about these issues just because of the here-she-goes-again look that paints itself on hubby's face. That's just a side-benefit, I am serious whenever I talk about equality between the sexes...but that does not mean we get to take the trash out and mow the lawn. But, I am serious about equality. Oh! and we also won't accompany our husbands to their bi-monthly hair cuts ("Just get rid of as much as you can" and my BP is waaaay up there!), but we would like them to accompany us to our beauty parlors so they can tell us if our new hair style and hair color accentuates our skin tone (whatever that means!) :p

Wise men (who have nothing better to do) are always telling us not to take life too seriously. Since, we are good listeners and we heed to good advice, we are just doing that. See, that's a whole new dimension to our chatter. A deep and significant explanation behind a woman's psyche (Catch me in the right frame of mind and I amaze myself by the amount and quality of nonsense I can come up with :)

So yes, the next time you find a guy rolling his eyes (with envy?) when a bunch of girls chatter away, just point him to this highly scientific explanation of why women talk...three times more than men!

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Paper shredders are fun because...

You get to do this...


and then watch them do this...



but seriously, they serve a dual purpose, men (boys?) find it fun to play with the shredder (almost a gadget) , we get rid of paper-clutter (Fengshui and common sense tells us that's great for the heart :) and we beat identity-theft!

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Mountains, molehills, leather, being a vegan and such things.

So, if you need to make your life more complicated, make even the simplest question more convoluted than your regular "Chicken or Egg" questions, need an ultimate answer to "Life, The Universe, and Everything", then you have chanced upon the right blog (well, I don't really know the answer to the last question, a wise computer once claimed it to be 42 :) Welcome to the world of "Yours confused".

Ok, enough noise. So, we set about on a simple task - buying a sofa. Now, how complicated can that be? thought Ms.Confused and set about on a bright and cheery day to a bunch of furniture stores. She liked almost all the sofas but took a special liking to the oh-so-comfy leather sofas and barcaloungers (Now, I get to watch Friends, sitting on one! - she thought and did not hear nature smirking at her over-simplification of life :p)

Then, she came home and had a weekend-get-together with a few friends and asked their opinions about leather sofas (This is when nature actually proceeded to hold it's stomach and laugh out loud at her). What started off as a general discussion on cloth vs leather sofas turned into a full-fledged discussion on morality, veganism, vegetarianism, wearing silk sarees at weddings and what not.

Since then, I have googled quite a bit about whether I should buy the leather sofa or not:

http://www.veganviews.org.uk/vv86/vv86leather.html

http://veganrevolution.free.fr/documents/itwfrancione.html

And found some suprising albeit upsetting comments, facts, opinions:
"There is probably more suffering in a glass of milk than in a pound of steak." and so on.

Now, I doubt I'll give up drinking milk because I read this website but I can give up a leather sofa if it saves cows...but then, what about k's leather belts, what about my wedding silk sarees? What about woolen winter-wear? Are we hypocrites because we claim we saved lives by not buying leather/fur while causing the same/if-not-greater pain to animals by just our daily activities? I mean, why not switch to soy-milk? Why not give up on silk-sarees and wear a nice, pink cotton saree for a wedding?

Anyway, so drop a line, leave a comment and I shall teach you the tricks on "How to complicate simple stuff" :-)

Hmm...I am not able to leave comments on my blog. Are you seeing that too? Well, I guess you can't tell me if you are indeed seeing that problem, so, I can take absence of comments to indicate either that you cannot comment or that you just don't want to :) In any case, if you can comment, do let me know, if you can't...I'll figure it out :)

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'tis the season to be jolly...tra la la la...

It's that time of the year, warm, fuzzy holiday cheer, Santa-claus, colored lights, smell of cookies and brownies and Turkey! It's like this quirky bird has the whole country wrapped around her paws. On TV, in supermarkets and just about everywhere we see...Turkey-o-mania! It's kinda fun, you know...seeing turkeys everywhere means the holidays are not far away. It's interesting how just about everything around you changes...Halloween starts it all off and even before you have finished your candies and taken off the scary faces from your office, Thanksgiving sneaks up behind you and you see pumpkins and turkeys everywhere and then white covers the shades of brown and reindeers and Mrs.and Mr.Claus are everywhere!

As a kid, having digested a healthy dose of Archies for many years, I always wanted to have a christmas tree! Reading about Christmas in those comic-books made it all seem all the more magical - snow flakes, Santa's snowy beard, glittering Christmas trees and brightly wrapped gifts with enormous bows under the trees...I would have lived in that world, in my head a thousand times. I remember one particular story (after all these years!) - Archie's jalopy breaks down and they decide to stay overnight in what looks like a haunted castle, inside the castle, they find toys all around with cobwebs around them, and we see the invisible mom and baby ghost watching the gang, the baby having died before celebrating it's first Christmas. The gang unaware of all this, decide to celebrate Christmas in that castle, so they clean the toys, light a fire and decorate the old Christmas tree in the house. After a few hours, they fall asleep and the baby happily plays with all it's new toys and the mom and baby hug happily and leave the place to...heaven.

I just loved that story...







Anyway, it is that time of the year and I wonder if I should go tree-shopping... :)

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Dog Dilemmas!

"You will keep it tied when you go to work, isn't that a sin? How would you like to be constrained like that?

"Who will take care of it when you go on vacations?"

"Have you thought about how much maintenance goes into handling a pet?"

"You have to feed it Non-Veg!"

"How will you handle it when it passes away? You will have a void in your life..."

"Three walks a day plus you have to clean up after it!"

Jeez! What does a (wo)man have to do to get a pet?!

(Yes, I could just visit the Animal Shelter, get one and then let all hell break lose...sometimes I think I should do just that and see what happens! No thanks to my husband who got his parents and mine to support him on this issue! You would think your own parents would support you...:-(

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Kabhi, kabhi...

What more can I say about relationships that weren’t meant to be, love that hurts and the inability to love, when it is clear there is nothing else to do but to share at least a bit of the love that is submerging, almost suffocating you? And yet that is the one thing that you cannot do. How much will you bend to the unfair, overpowering demands of a heart that won’t listen? And finally, when the heart has had its way, all that is left is guilt, shame and a clarity even in tears of what love can be but is not…

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna is all this and more. Sappy, sentimental, long, the movie may be but it has also managed to handle a complicated, difficult theme as delicately and realistically as the Indian audience would allow it to be. I loved the movie, the NYC background, autumn leaves, snow that blanket a whole new range of emotions…we often see movies dealing effectively in love, romance, tragedy but few take up infidelity and even fewer movies dare to make such a relationship succeed; not commenting on whether it is karmically right for such relationships to succeed, but realistically speaking, some of them do…

Till the end, I kept waiting for something that would separate SRK and Rani Mukherjee, some contrived twist-of-fate ending where they can never live happily ever after and I was surprised by the ending. Also, Preity Zinta not immediately leaning on Arjun Rampal’s shoulders for support was a refreshing twist, so also Abhishek’s marriage to his American lady love. The big B took on a role that needs a lot more than just panache to pull it off without coming off cheap and he did a good job with Kiran Kher providing the right sensitive touch to their scenes.

Comedy was good, the bespectacled football-hating-kid was great, Abhishek as the doting husband evokes a tugging-at-the-heart sort of sadness...haunting music to go with all this and you have a blockbuster movie, alright!

So there, I said it, I really liked the movie! I would even see it again (oh, stop giving me that look, you should see the movie with me next time and then you’ll like it too :)

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Guess?

Yeah, yeah, cheesy, I know but was fun when people had that "aha" moment when they figured out our halloween costumes :)

So, have you figured out what our costume stands for (and no prizes for the right answer)? :)

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Jus' your regular dusting and mopping!

Gosh, I never realized how much useless trivia, random bits of information, absolutely trivial bits of conversations and memories I have stored in my head over time. So, now, am going to publish them here (what's the equivalent of "putting on paper" anyway? Am gonna go with "publish" for lack of a better sense of imagination and vocabulary :)

So anyway, here goes my list:

1. If you place frozen carrots on wet hand tissues, they will stick to them and the only way to separate the couple is to wash them!

2. One of my friends told me long back about how she fell asleep on her boy friend's arms and I remember thinking, "Wow! I thought that only happened in movies..."

3. The first time I watched DDLJ in the theatre, I didn't quite catch most of the dialogues because I cried throughout the movie. So, I went to see it again in the theatre. And then one more time to make sure I had all the dialogues memorized :) I was in 11th standard, I think...

4. 11th standard seems to have left a strong impression in my head...I remember feeling bad when one of my friends started crying during a Computer Science assignment and she said, "I know you think I am not as good as v~ or s~, if you don't want to do this assignment with me, it's ok, I'll understand..." I vaguely remember that we did finish the assignment together and managed a grade as good as v~ and s~ :)

5. The first time I flew to Atlanta from Madras, I did have trouble with my seat safety belt buckle. And then five years later, I heard a joke that was along the lines of, "Why do we need to listen to the same old safety instructions? Slide your seat belt into the buckle...even a two year old knows that!" and I remember finiding it funny but not so funny.

6. I remember my first ever potluck contribution - a strikingly yellow peas pulav, it had peas, turmeric, cooked rice and salt...and that was about it :)

7. I still remember my crushes in college and I still remember how I felt, I can't feel that way again but I know how I had felt then, isn't that weird?

8. Kids play favorites without guilt. I remember my neighbour's kid, Abhay, he was really smart about judging people, he could differentiate between those who spent quality time with him and those who got tired after, "Oooh, Abhay's so cute! Now run along and play with your friends, sonny!" The first one got a cuddly hug and the next one got a clear i-dont-like-you look. I wish I could do that too sometimes without having to offer an adult-ish explanation for my weirdness...

There, now that I have it on paper...err published, am going to try to clear these notes in my head and make space for more :)

Also, Happy Deepavali folks :)

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For Aditya.

Edited: Venky added a Digg link for more visibility.

Verification: The Cancer Patients Aid Association Case File for Aditya.

My brother sent me this email. No, it's not spam, Aditya's parents are friends of friends of his...

From the email: "Aditya Kumar, 4 year old son of Kumar S, is suffering from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, a form of Blood Cancer. The only hope to give new life to Aditya is, Bone Marrow Transplant, from an unrelated donor. This treatment, unfortunately, is not available in India. And the cost of this treatment outside of India is approximately 70 Lacs to Rs 1 crore ( USD 150K to 250K) . Kumar is able to source Rs. 35 Lacs, through various personal sources."

What you can do to help?

From the email: "Donations to CPAA are tax exempt under section 80G (50% exemption). You will be sent a certificate of exemption along with receipt and letter of acknowledgement.

Apart from steps below, please also drop a mail to kumarsangatgmail.com and ravi2604atgmail.com so that we can track and acknowledge. This is important for us."

Ways to donate:

A. Through Internet

1.Visit http://www.cpaaindia.org

2. Click on picture of the credit card seen in the left pane.

3. It will take you to a https://donations.cpaaindia.org/ , where a Donation Form is available.

Please ensure that in the field, Specific Projects / Causes (if any) ? you mention "For Patient Aditya Kumar"

4. Make the payment through your Credit Card.

B. Through Cheque

* Send a cheque or demand draft in the name of "CANCER PATIENTS AID ASSOCIATION" to the address below.
* ( Please write "For Patient Aditya Kumar" on the back of the cheque)

Shubha Maudgal, Cancer Patients Aid Association,
Anand Niketan,
King George V Memorial Infirmary,
Dr. E. Moses Road, Mahalaxmi,
Mumbai-400011, INDIA
Phone: 0091-22-24924000/0091-22-24928775
Fax: 0091-22-24973599
URL: www.cpaaindia.org
Email: Shubha.Maudgalatcpaaindia.org

The above instruction is applicable for donations from any Country including U.S.

C. For Residents of US & US Citizens who wish to take Tax Deduction

Residents of USA and US citizens who would like to take a tax deduction in USA can mail their contributions by checks, wire transfers, bank drafts, etc., payable to
Cancer Patients Aid Association Inc., Fed ID # 34-2007461 at the address mentioned below:

Cancer Patients Aid Association, Inc.,
c/o Lachman & Lachman,
Certified Public Accountants,
444 Madison Avenue ,
28th Floor, New York , NY 10022.
Contact Person: Neil Lachman,
Phone (212) 371 8319,
Fax (212) 371 0707.

DO NOT write patient's name at the back of the check in this case. After mailing the check, please send the check details to kumarsang@gmail.com and ravi2604@gmail.com .

Please forward to your friends and family and let's help the little boy in any way we can.

But, what really broke my heart was this picture...do pray for the little one and his parents.

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