Interactions!

Strange how people "connect". I watch k interact with his friends, lifelong buddies and wonder if they ever discuss anything seriously. To an outside viewing the interaction, all he picks up are cues that point to a superficial, "fun" group dynamics. I mean you don't have to greet each other formally and proclaim your everlasting bond, but at some point in your relationship, you should have discussed something with seriousness, perhaps something that makes you vulnerable, something you did not dare to discuss with anyone else or perhaps something like "Will she say yes?" :)...because that's the kind of talk that brings people closer together, right?

Maybe not. k tells me that's not how guys interact, at least not by discussing deeply personal stuff and being comfortable in the pregnant pauses, but by making fun of each other and hiding emotions behind verbal spars and "jolly" talks. He thinks I live in a world entrenched in drama, my friends (especially women) and I playing our roles to dramatic (uptight?) perfection. He does not mean to say that we are in any way superficial in our interactions or overplay our responses deliberately, just that we are by nature drama queens and kings. We discuss esoteric topics like parallel universes and some less esoteric ones like the meaning of life; we discuss feelings - "You hurt me by saying this", "In a few years, will we remain this close?"; we discuss the ubiquitous R2I confusions; we talk about friends that were once close to us - "He hardly calls anymore...", "No emails from her for the past six months :(" and at times, we indulge in idle talk, empty chatter and plain nonsense (ah! How I miss my Bitsian days).

You get the idea. That is my typical interaction with my friends. So, when I watch k talk to his friends, it's a very strange phenomenon (to me). They go to great lengths to make fun of each other, exchange some well-known "gaalis" then proceed to discuss and laugh about topics ranging from the incredible to the downright ridiculous. To understand this type of bonding, I once decided to join in on the "fun", I tried to keep up with the jokes and trivial talks and laugh and bond. But, I guess I tried too hard because I sounded silly to myself (you know the little voice in your head that talks to you simultaneously when you talk to others? Well, it said, "Ramya, you sound silly" and signed off). I guess it will take a few more iterations before I perfect the art of this style of friendship.

Because, hidden beneath the banal talks and jibes, I do sense a kind of bonding. Not the weak kind. But then k would say I am just dramatizing things.

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