On moving and settling down.

So, we moved to Alpharetta almost 9 months back. We have gone through excitement, boredom, denial, almost-feels-like-home, jeez-we-have-no-friends...and many more phases representing a range from emotions from the totally anticipated to the entirely unexpected. I thought I should note down how I feel now and revisit after a period of time to see if anything has changed.

The first 3 months: were about saying good bye, nostalgia, remnant excitement from arangetram and from quitting IBM and moving on to a better job, adrenalin mixed with exhaustion from the move and the staying in a motel and the move again to an apartment.


The biggie was getting r~ settled into a preschool. I was definitely more apprehensive about that than my first day of work. The initial months were about figuring out where to get food (What is a Publix?!), where are the Indian grocery stores (we get chat here, paav bhaji with Tamil movie songs playing in the background!), beauty parlor (right next to HotBreads, now renamed Cake World) where I don't go any longer -- that's a long story, where to get clothes (there is a carousel in the mall and cup cakes and a train!) -- this we had to figure out as soon as we realized r's school required uniforms (was I back in Chennai?) Around this time, I met my friend from Bits, Pilani, A~ who filled in the gaps for me. An Indian co-worker of mine gave me the inside info about restaurants in the area and such. 


During this time, we went to Atlanta almost every weekend and tried to get a feel for the city (if we weren't in Atlanta, we were in Lex!) We didn't have any friends to speak of, so might as well get to know the city, right? We were regulars at the Children's museum (rocks!), Chatpati and related Indian restaurants in the area. We checked out the puppetry center for arts, an art studio for kids, a farm with animals to pet + a bonus art class...


r~ celebrated her first birthday in school (with Simba)!


There was not much time to think. The moving was done but the momentum didn't slow down...yet.

My artist at Purple Hippo Art Studio

Simba and Nala chilling out at our apartment!

The next 3 months: r~ was well-settled in school and I, at work. k was all set with his home office. Our trips to Atlanta had slowed down and we had info about all the essential services we needed. We continued exploring, went on a wild animal safari...That's when it usually begins right? The urge to change things just when everything seemed to touch a semblance of sanity. We started discovering small annoyances with the apartment -- the dish washer coughed up black gook every now and then (the apartment service folks rocked though), we were lucky to get a ground-floor apartment with an attached garage but there was hardly any sunlight in the living room -- and I thought I was running away from minor-SAD-symptoms in Lex. The reduction in living space didn't make much of a difference (surprisingly) and I loved the single-level layout but I felt the need to decorate the apartment so it was more home-like. We had friends visiting us from Lex and that was fun but we missed 'hanging out' -- something that k and I had an insatiable appetite for, in Lex. I got to know my office colleagues better and A~ better, attended a bunch of school birthday parties with r~ (where I, like my daughter, did not manage to make any new friends). I got to know the pani-puri aunty well ( we were there almost twice a week). 


r~ decided to join a paatu class -- my little girl was taking her own decisions! Another friend from Bits, also A~, told me about a bal vikas class that r~ might enjoy. So, we took r~ to Atlanta every Sunday for the class. She refused to stay alone in class which meant managing her for 2-3 hours without hopefully too many embarrassing moments. By the time, we ate and came back, it was 4-5 hours taken from our Sundays -- which was a nice way to spend Sundays since there wasn't much else to do anyways except house hunting! Around this time, I decided we had to buy a house and so the rest of the weekends and a considerable part of our work lunch time was spent looking at ranch houses. We needed a single level home, close to work and close to school, at least 3 BR and in reasonable condition. Turns out, that was not easy to find because not many people built ranch houses nowadays! Finally, we did find one soon after we decided to take a break from house hunting :)

Wild Animal Safari

And that brings us to now: we moved yet again, celebrated the new year and my birthday. I was at home, at work -- you know what I mean. r~ was at home at school. k~, well, he is at home, at work, anyways :) We talked a  bit about r2i and m2b (move to bay area :p) but decided we needed against it for the next few years. I liked my work and r~ liked her school. The place was definitely more happening and had access to a lot of fun things to do, the weather was better...so what's the catch, you ask? Friends, of course. Making friends, when you are no longer studying somewhere, it turns out, is hard. We met people we could hang out with but that's different from hanging out with close friends...


k's parents are here to visit us and that always helps w.r.t home sickness (where is home anyway? India, Lex, here?) We finally joined the local library and I felt like I could breathe a little bit easier -- felt like a missing puzzle piece fell in place. We went to a neat build your own car class at Home Depot..met a few more people, who could potentially become friends, and felt better. k, though, misses friends at Lex, the swing in our backyard, the sand box he built for r~...


We went without TV for 8 months and hardly noticed the difference, we bought a TV and then returned it, bought another and returned it and are now TV less again and surprisingly still not missing it but I think this time, we will buy a TV and not return it.


r~ made some almost-real friends, I saw her initiate and ask questions to her teacher (by herself! Huge deal...for me), today she asked me if she could go to school (either she likes school or k and I have become boring versions of ourselves here!)...


And we are back to spending inordinate amounts of time about trivial enhancements to the house -- which means, we are almost home...


Time will tell.

@Home Depot -- that week's show & tell for school!

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Exploring Atlanta...Wild Animal Safari

Last weekend we went to the Wild Animal Safari in PineMountain, GA. There is a nice walk through where you get to see the Siberian tigers, baboons, hyenas (some of them below) and then the fun part of the trip -- the striped bus that takes you through the Safari where you get to see the wild animals up, close and personal and feel them (for those that dare to do that) through the windows! The giraffe with its long neck craning inside the window to grab the whole bag of treats was probably the highlight of the trip!

Siberian Tiger...

Llama llama, red pyjama!

Giraffe and k's hand!

Rudolf!

k's favorite -- a 5500 pound rhino!

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Exploring Atlanta -- Puppets!

I should probably title this post, "Exploring Alpharetta" but I know there is much more scope if we catch the train to Atlanta :) Yesterday, we went to a puppet show, "The Ugly Duckling" at The Center for Puppetry Arts in Atlanta. I wondered if r would have the patience to sit through the show and was surprised that she did. To my relief, even before we entered the theater, I found a lot of parents with squirming toddlers and knew I had reached the right place. The show was bright and loud (in a nice way) and they had a really nice stage setting with musical instruments built into the stage itself. The puppetry form was "Overt puppetry" where we can actually see the puppeteers manipulating the puppets. The lighting and sound systems in the theater are pretty sophisticated due to which they could pull off a stunt where the puppeteer blew a firefly (like light) from her hand and they filled up the entire ceiling (tiny lights that were supposed to be fireflies) -- that was magical for the kids (and to some of us)!

The puppet we made

The last time, we took the train to Atlanta (Marta) to the Children's museum and as a result couldn't really pick a restaurant of our choice to eat, which made some of us (yes, that would be me) cranky (I had to eat cold veggie burger in Atlanta. I mean, come on! I am in Atltanta, I should be able to find a desi snack place with hot snacks)! And so this time, we were planned. After the puppet show, we ate alu sandwiches with hot sauce which k had meticulously packed and I even packed coconut water in case I got tired (you can never tell with my thyroid gland)! Then we went to Chattahoochee national park by the river and walked about 1/4th of the trail (just a few minutes actually) before I started feeling tired. So, we just sat by the river sand and let Rads play with simba and her ugly duckling (The puppetry center had a small workshop where we could make ugly duckling puppets with the kids -- an awesome idea! r loved it!) puppet.

Glad I can actually go to a show and actually take r with me -- low stress deal! If you are in Atlanta, drop me a line and let me know what kid-friendly places you like or even better, if you are in Alpharetta, just drop by home :p

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India - Days 23 - 30.

You heard of the phrase, "Mera dham gud raha he idhar?" (Not sure if I said that right) I think that's about how I feel here. I don't want to be back. I don't want to be home sick. But mostly, I don't want to be going back to work. Let's wrap up the India trip though before I talk about my current situation.

The remaining days in Bombay were just a whirl of shopping, good food, relaxation, luxury and Endhiran! I went to Shopper's Stop about 22 times to buy/return/alter r's cute salwaar kameez among other things. We spent a pretty fabulous day at the Taj Mahal palace, thanks again to L~. If all you have to do is live a life like that, am all for Bombay ;) It's a different world inside the hotel. It's actually a different world for super rich folks in India. If I could be rich in India, that would really be like having the cake and eating it too...but even the not so rich have full time help in the house, something I sorely miss in the US.

I must mention the eating binge I went on in India. I think I covered all the must-eat desserts, malai kulfi, malai kulfi rabdi, gulgand rasmalai, peda and even the chili icecream from Bachelor's (I do not recommend it unless you want a mix of reactions flooding your palate like this: it starts off with a nice "icecreamy" sweetness and then the cold sort of morphs into chili heat once it's down your throat! I could only take 3 spoons of it!)

I experienced monsoon rain in Bombay (although only for a short while) which was pretty cool. I got introduced to k's mom's tailor who functions from a small space in a "gali": rent Rs.500 per month. I visited k's uncle who lives in one of those uber cool houses at Church gate, a stone's throw from Nariman point: house value: 5-6 crores maybe? I walked down Nariman point and took r for a ride in the ghoda gadi at her request :) c tells me, Nariman point is where SRK looked at the stars and dreamt that he would be a star! So now people come here and talk big hoping they could pull off what SRK did :)

We had a teary farewell in Bombay as well (k's mom). r had a blast the whole time except for a pretty painful constipation situation. Oh! We also drove on the Sea link road (what's it called?) twice! That was pretty cool. Almost like driving in US because you get off it and see all those high rise buildings and you can't really tell that you are in India -- could be mistaken for any downtown view in the US. k's mom and I did a couple of auto rickshaw trips. At one point, we waited for 15-20 mins calling for autos and being ignored by the auto driver clan for some mysterious reason!

The surprising part was meeting someone who used to live in Lex, catching up with another friend who is still iving in Lex :), another friend who seems to be living the r2i dream :p and an old School friend!

It's 4 PM here and am sleepy, so rest of the story later. For now, pictures...

Inside Shopper's Stop watching the rain outside...

@ Taj Mahal palace

Fruit tart that vanished in a flash!

Laundry @ Taj -- can't get enough of these photos!

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India trip - Days 20 - 22

Jotting down random notes before r wakes up or I have to run:

* I met an 85 year old lady who lives next door to k's parents. Her small 1 BR apartment has a showcase lined with neatly wrapped books. I asked her if I could take a look and saw that the books were not only wrapped in brown paper (remember the brown wrapping paper we used to cover our school notebooks?) but were also labeled with numbers. She then produced a ruled notebook that had an index of all the numbers matching them to the titles and authors of the books. I thought that was pretty neat. She said a girl who had just passed 12th standard had helped organize her books and offered to introduce me to the girl :)

* I bought Eat, Pray, Love from a dude selling a huge stack of books car to car while stuck in a traffic jam. Apparently, that's quite common in Bombay. But we usually don't get much time to negotiate. I bought this book for Rs.100!

* The other day while on our way back from Sab Kuch which is a cool restaurant that serves as it's name suggests, pretty much everything, and c was pointing out the sights of the city when I saw some 30 people sleeping right in front of a closed store -- Bombay is a mixed bag like that, you sort of never know what to expect. Back to Sab kuch...if you order pani puri here, a guy rolls a pani puri cart towards you and serves sanitized pani puri gloves and all! I ate falooda with kulfi here and decided I didn't care much for it.

* We went to p & c's house and the highlights there were the oonjal (swing) for r and seethaphal basundhi for us! Oh! I forgot the stick kulfi which r insisted on eating on her own!

* If I had to give one big fat reason why we wouldn't move to Bombay, that would be commute. If you don't have an AC car at your disposal, you are stuck. Yes, you can call from a cool cab but that takes between 30-45 mins to come and it's point to point. If you own an AC car and you drive, that's cool but parking is a pain. Day before yesterday, we decided wisely to go to InOrbit mall in Malad. Air conditioned, nice games, eats and I thought I'd spend an evening relaxing in the mall. But apparently, Bombay goes to InOrbit or one of it's sister malls on Saturdays and Sundays. Since the whole of Bombay was there, it was pretty much like being in an un-airconditioned place with loads of people creating loads of conversation noise and add to that the noise produced by all the gaming consoles. I had fun playing on the dancing game thingie -- what do you call it? But a half hour later, we were all set to leave the mall. The visit to the mall was anything but relaxing.

* Today went to Shopper's stop which is pretty much like any other shopping mall in the US except for the startling variety of colors and designs that you can never find in American clothes. Took an auto today and sweated my way through the afternoon heat and traffic fumes. Yup, traveling no fun here.

* The disparity between rich and poor is stark here. Even the kids learn that they can order some people to do their commands like the maid servant or the cook. If you are a rich kid in India living in a nuclear family, there is a high possibility of getting "spoilt" because you can get away with not cleaning your room, picking up your clothes ever or even setting foot in the kitchen. A maid serves you hot rotis or cold milk shakes and you get used to service 24/7. If there isn't a grand parent around to caution and if the parents are busy with work and life, then it's an easy easy life for the kids. Today I saw a teenage kid lying in bed watching TV at full volume while a maid swept and cleaned his room...to be fair to him, he probably did do his share of work but maybe he didn't and all he had to do is ask the maid to clean up after him...hmm.

Checkmarks and eats: Sab kuch restaurant, seethaphal basundhi, western express highway, corn kachori and stick kulfi, Temptations ice cream, InOrbit mall

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India - Days 13 - 19

We celebrated r's birthday at New Woodlands Hotel in Chennai. My dad had hired a magician, Mr.Raja aka Kingzz for the day which was fun. His show was entertaining to the kids and adults alike. This was followed by a short video clip of r that I had put together -- sort of catching up on her life for my friends and relatives in Chennai. On 26th evening, we went to Parthasarathy temple again and from there to Ratna cafe. k took a second dose of the coffee there and I must admit, that was the best filter coffee I had during my Madras trip! That night we went to the beach to say bye bye before leaving Madras. r~ did her regular running-running in the beach and then we headed home.

The next morning passed in a blur. Before I knew it I was at the airport and although I had resolved to not cry this time, predictably I burst into tears just before waving good bye :( On the short flight to Bombay, I intensely disliked k for not wanting to move to India. Anyway we landed in Bombay and it didn't seem to have changed much since the last time I was here. The traffic and crowd here is a bit more than in Madras. New Bombay roads are cool, pretty much like US highway roads. I spent a couple of hours shopping with p~. The store, Sajani had a good collection of materials for salwaar kameez and the dude there was extremely agreeable:

p: "This dress doesn't need lining, does it?"
Him: "Yes, yes, you can wear it without lining, no problem"

p: "Hmm but will it look better with lining?"

Him: "That it will (वो तो हे)"


Then, when p is busy looking at a material, he tells me, "Buy your sister-in-law one more dress no?" and when he thinks I am not looking, he tells p, "You should ask her to buy more dresses, she is going to US no?"

Then, p took me to a tailor shop and like most places in Bombay, there was an infinity fit into a finite space. The small room had another smaller (3 feet by 3 feet?) room where I saw one tailor working on a tailoring machine and then I peeked some more and found two other tailors also sitting and stitching there in that impossibly small space. There were cloths and dresses lying everywhere in that tiny room. Finally, I asked him how he managed to keep his orders straight and he showed me how he stapled small bits of each dress material to the bill and another small matching bit to the customer bill. He also said something about writing the customer order number on the dress although I didn't see him doing that. He rolled up my salwaar and kameez material in a bundle and tossed it carelessly next to several other bundles. So, I asked him what happened if the salwaar and kameez material got misplaced and he said he can tell with a glance which salwaar material goes with which kameez material. And then there were the complicated patterns to select from -- how do you want the front next? V? U? Boat shape? Back neck? Hand -- puff sleeves? Sleeveless? Transparent sleeves? Short sleeves? We let him pick most of it since it was too confusing to decide!

We headed to Lonavala for a few days and stayed in a co-op housing bungalow there. It took me a while to get used to the concept. Basically, rich  man x wants a vacation home where he will stay probably a month a year. The rest of the year since the house needs someone to stay in it for it to be in good shape, rich man rents the bungalow to other folks. There is a cook who lives in the premises and you can ask him to cook what you want (and that is paid) and you have the house to yourself. We managed to co-exist with several life forms in that bungalow (humongous cockroaches -- now I sort of see why he wants people to actually live in the bungalow else it will be overtaken by cockroaches and their cousins and relatives!) and then headed out to Ambi valley (a nice scenic drive), had masala chai on the peak and headed back home. The drive back was tiring and we got stuck in traffic. Poor c (p's husband) drove all the way home and we collapsed on the bed (except for r who managed to take a nap in the car). Lonavala and the drive to the peak reminded me of Smokey mountains and Gatlinburg. Of course, you don't get the "world's best vada pav" in the Gatlingburg shopping strip!

Exhausted after a long day, so rest in pictures...

Best vada pav ever, recommended by c -- k had like 50 of them!

Cute pizza ad at a shopping mall in Lonavala

Malai Kulfi Rabdi at Kailash Parbat, Lonavala -- too rich for words!

Road side vegetables -- seeing this scene after ages!

The creator of the vada pavs!

Eats and Treats check marks :) -- Shir sagar (paav bhaji), Kailash Parbat (Dahi papdi chat), Raam Krishna @ Lonavala (regular punjabi fare and kulfi), Mega mall food court (Vada paav, "rose"), street vada paav and bhajia @ Lonavala, masala chai & corn bhajia @ Lonavala peak.

Chennai: filter coffee @ Ratna Cafe, samosa and gulab jamoon from Gangotri, South Indian parotha and mosambi juice @ Saravanas, Kashmiri pulaav and triple sundae @ Brindavan, Woodlands

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India - Days 9-12

k returned back to Madras on 20th at some unearthly early morning time and l~ came home a day earlier than he had announced -- that was a nice surprise. I went to Ramanathan pathara kadai again and spent another bundle buying copper-bottomed stainless steel containers, a pressure cooker, nei jaadi (a small vessel to hold ghee) etc. The store had a computer but that was used more like a calculator to add up the total sum. The vessels themselves did not have any item number on them. The store folks just consulted an old ruled notebook to figure out the cost of the vessels. The store was extremely small but had everything!
We even bought a banana hammock and a dish rack there. Customer service there is based on how much money you have to spend. An old guy smelling of tobacco came to get his mixer blade repaired and had to wait the entire length of time we were there.

Ramanathan & Co

Then we headed to Shankara hall (Of course!) We spent an hour browsing there and I bought some golu bommais, an incense stand and picked out some wall hangings. My mom selected a 3D Parthasarathy wall hanging which was quite beautiful (all blue and gold). It's extremely humid here and somehow that's more exhausting than just being hot. I had an equally exhausting (although in a nice way) dance practice session and then we headed to Fisherman's Cove at Kovalam beach (courtest l~ who gets employee discounts there).

The view at Fisherman's cove is breathtaking. Blue waves crashing on the golden sand, green landscapes and coconut trees surrounding our rooms...it's a different world here. It's almost as if I am back in the US (clean, wide corridors, dim lighting, western toilets) until I see the innumerable Indian staff employed to maintain the 5 star hotel. With the exception of my horrendous hair style (think Monica style frizzy hair, thanks to humidity -- remember that FRIENDS episode?) , it's blissful here. Service is the magic word here. Press a button and a man appears to clean your room, get you freshly squeezed sweet lime juice, decadent desserts, press your clothes and fold them in neat little white covers arranged in a wicker basket, a rose placed on a leaf on top of the clothes (Seriously! Yesterday it was a red rose, today yellow).The men had an underwear shortage situation since they gave away everything to be laundered!

View from our room

Sathukudi juice -- my favoritest!

We went or at least tried to go on a boat ride yesterday. We walked in the hot sand, wore our huge life jackets, convinced r~ to wear one and then sat on the boat. But, the motor sound, the rocking boat, the waves crashing into the boat and on her face were too much for her to handle. So she loudly protested and we headed back to the shore. Then k~ and l~ went back to complete their boat ride. k said he swam in the Bay of Bengal (or at least floated with life jacket in the water) and that I should try it too (Fat chance).

Fresh-pressed laundry

We opted for in-room dining a couple of times and stuffed ourselves crazy but after a couple of times that got boring and so we headed to the Mediterranean restaurant nearby. We ordered some familiar and some strange sounding dishes and they were all tastefully arranged on a plate (Food network style plate decorations!) and four different type of desserts! Yesterday we headed to the beach and watched the waves which looked beautiful bathed in the moonlight (but a bit ominous at night) and the crabs which were everywhere. r~ ran about as usual and we just hung out in lounge chairs. She actually fell asleep at the beach. k did his first Ganapathy visarjan at the beach :) The guard said we couldn't go into the water at night but made an exception for our spiritual quest. Yesterday we tried a multi-cuisine restaurant where they took almost an hour to serve us our order. Then we took a buggy back to our room (Oh yeah, the buggy. It's sort of like a low-weight open jeep that works on batteries. To go to any place within Fisherman's cove, we need to ask for a buggy and the driver will take us to the beach, one of the restaurants, the spa etc. I endured some painful threading and waxing but the facial was neat and the detox tea they serve (jaggery, lemon juice and holy basil) is amazing! Looking forward to my "relaxation massage" today (and the detox tea even more).

We went to the crocodile bank yesterday which didn't seem to be that well maintained but true to its name did house a large number of crocodiles.We then went to Mahabalipuram. Like true NRIs, we hired a tour guide and that turned out to be a good thing. He narrated a lot of stories explaining the significance of each important landmark there (Arjuna's penance, Bhima's stove, Krishna's butter ball, the shore temple...) He pointed to a pillar which seemed like it had the carving of a cow and then he hid the cow's face and the carving looked like an elephant! Mahabalipuram was probably the highlight of the trip. The shore temple is pretty amazing...I'll put up pictures here soon - the beauty is better demonstrated through images than words.

Krishnar vennai

Shore temple

@Mahabalipuram

Back to the real world today evening...

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India - Days 7 & 8

Today for a change we went to Guindy National Park. We probably covered 1/4th of the park and then got too tired and sweaty and so called it a day. The park is well maintained and can probably take up several hours if you plan well and wish to cover the entire park. r~ saw deer, snakes, porcupines, birds of Vedanthangal, monkeys, fish and even got to go on a swing. I didn't realize Guindy National Park was the hangout for couples until today. Everywhere I turned, I saw lovey-dovey pairs hugging, sitting next to each other and just smiling for nothing, staring into each other's eyes...you get the picture. Maybe this is where they enjoy some togetherness while also checking out some wild life!

~*~*~*

I always complain about the dresses that my parents send for r~ and me. They are always too tight, too loose, too shirt -- something is always off. Today I discovered the reason for the continuity in the pattern. My dad took me to our "family tailor" -- an old old man stared at me through thick glasses from behind the tailoring machine. He had one lone assistant in a small shop in Mylapore. After my dad repeated what he said twice, he took note of us, nodded and took the dresses from my dad (to be altered). I guess he is the "aagivandha tailor" and so we stick to him. At least he is better than K.R.Dressers who said he was busy and needed a minimum of 1.5 months to stitch stuff.

~*~*~*

We ate at Sangeetha's today. I don't know if I would have noticed this if I hadn't left India and returned but I definitely found some unsafe areas there. The restroom was completely wet and when I stepped out, I lost my balance a couple of times on the smooth restaurant floor (and this was with me carrying r~). The other day at a jewelry store, they had a full length mirror on what looked like a wall and when I stood in front of it, a man suddenly rushed out of what happened to be a door with a mirror on the outside. I noticed the small handle on the door later. If I hadn't moved in time, it would have been a classic Tom and Jerry scene with an RS shaped mark in the mirror :p

~*~*~*

Am overeating everyday! Today's menu was biriyani, raitha, crisp alu curry in the afternoon; thayir vada, paniyaaram, idiyaapam and filter coffee for tiffin and paav bhaji and curd rice and pulikachal for dinner. I keep thinking my dance classes will balance out the extra calories but it is looking pretty doubtful now.

~*~*~*

r~ is getting so much attention from her thatha-paati, I don't know how I am going to compensate for that back in the US. Plus she has the maid and the cook to entertain her, the driver and the watchman play small games with her. People people everywhere...what is a mom to do?

~*~*~*

I went to AVM sound zone in Alwarpet. Seemed like a nice store that I wish I had more time to browse in...I need to go to Spencers before I travel to Bombay...can't do a Madras visit without setting foot in Spencers!

~*~*~*

Everyone seems to be into cleanliness here. Every store I visit has someone sweeping the place with a broom -- Outside Apollo hospital, the jewelry store, Shanthi tailors, Nageswara Rao park, inside Sangeetha restaurant!

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