Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
August 16, 2012
February 01, 2012
iStress
The iPad is becoming a frequent point of contention in our household and the cause of considerable amount of stress for me. I'll start with the smallest point (person) and then go on to the bigger (older) ones. No, I am not going to say I have conflicts with r~ about how long she can be on the iPad. Thankfully that day is not here yet. She is a pretty good kid that way and hardly ever demands to play on the iPad but she has recently gotten into this routine of face-timing when it's night in America.
It's a long story. She doesn't like the dark much and asked why the sun had to set and why it was not bright and somehow we landed on the topic of it being daytime in India while it's night in the US and she got fascinated by this concept. So, when it is night here, she would say, Oh, it's dark here which means thatha paati will be awake, so let's facetime with them. And soon, it became a routine for her. Oh, it's night here, let's facetime to the extent that she would refuse to talk to her grandparents on the phone. "No, only facetime!".
It's quite interesting watching her interact with her thatha paati on the iPad. Although she has spent considerable time with her grandparents face to face, now her routine is to chat using the iPad and so, she doesn't treat it any differently from face to face. She'll usually demand for facetime and then proceed to do her normal activities as if her thatha paati were right in the room with her. It's not "different" for her to interact with her grandparents this way. Today, she said, "Let's take thatha on a walk into the night!" and I asked her how and she said, "Joiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, like this" and she showed me how we would carry the iPad with us into the night which means that thatha is coming with her for a walk into the night :)
Anyway, coming back to the contention points, the second is k (of course). Every morning, I get up a little earlier than k and r~ so that I can get her lunch box ready while they catch up on some more zzzs. And after screaming out their names 22 times and opening the curtains and playing loud music, k will sleep walk his way into the kitchen, look around for his glasses and/or coffee and then sit down with his...iPad while I fume in the kitchen, calling out a constant stream of instructions that usually lightly bounce off his ears and fall onto the carpet. And when I questioned the necessity to make the iPad an essential body part this early in the morning, he said, well, isn't that what our dads did? They sat with the newspaper -- that's the only difference! This actually made me laugh...the other day, I was drawing with r~ and I found a picture that reminded me of what he said. So, I drew it out on a piece of paper and gifted it to him as a reminder of how thoughtfully he had held up to his side of the argument:
It came out pretty well I thought. He asked if I thought that's where he was heading at the top (notice the baldness), I hadn't thought of that :p
So, the third point which is most likely to cause some heart condition in me has to do with my parents and the iPad. Usually a facetime (chat) session on the iPad goes like this:
Me: "Amma, can you come on facetime, r~ wants to chat..."
Amma: "Now???"
Me: "Yes."
Amma: "But, can't I just talk to r~ on the phone?"
Me: "No." (With r~ screaming into my ears all along, "Facetime, facetime, thatha, paati, facetime!!!")
Amma: "The iPad is in the bureau..."
Me: (With slightly elevated pulse rates) "Why?" -- This is like the point in BBT where the Leonard warns someone not to ask Sheldon Why.
Amma: "Because it is expensive and lot of people come in here. It will get stolen. I can't find the bureau keys..."
Appa: "Amma is looking for the bureau keys to get the iPad out. What is r~ doing? Oh...I hear her. What is she saying? Hellooooo...helllooooooo paaaappa..."
Me: "She won't come on phone pa..." (Thaaaaaaaaaaaathaa, paaaaaaaati...wheeeeeeee -- now she is just screaming just because it is fun)
Amma: (Somewhat breathlessly) "I took it out..."
Me: "Ok, can you come on facetime?"
Amma: "It's not working"
Me: (Enter gritting teeth stage) "W h a t do you mean, it's not working?"
Amma: "It shows a red broken battery and won't even start"
Me: (Coming close to matching r's decibel level) "Why is it not charged?"
Amma: "I can't leave it charging forever. The iPad will heat up...also if it is left outside..." (repeats the whole reason about burglars targeting iPad2's in India)
Me: "Put it on charge now"
Amma: "I did. It's still showing a broken battery."
Me: "Aaarg"
After sometime, I have calmed down, had some cold water, managed to give r~ some fingerpaint which she is using as floor paint but at least she is quiet now. I call India again.
Me: "Ok, iPad charged?"
Amma: "Yes. It doesn't work."
Me: "???"
Amma: (Patiently expands on her terse statement) "Nothing works"
Me: "@#@##$%"
Amma: (Excitedly) "Shall I come on the laptop? It will only take 2 minutes?"
Me: "No, we bought the iPad for a reason....what doesn't work?"
So you can see how it goes. Thankfully, that time L~ was home and he deduced that the internet connection was down and so fixed it (which in India, you do by restarting the modem. Five times a day.)
I haven't even touched upon me remote debugging from here and teaching my dad how to increase volume on the iPad or the time they lost the charger and spent more than the iPad cost to replace it -- need a part 2 to this post :p
It's a long story. She doesn't like the dark much and asked why the sun had to set and why it was not bright and somehow we landed on the topic of it being daytime in India while it's night in the US and she got fascinated by this concept. So, when it is night here, she would say, Oh, it's dark here which means thatha paati will be awake, so let's facetime with them. And soon, it became a routine for her. Oh, it's night here, let's facetime to the extent that she would refuse to talk to her grandparents on the phone. "No, only facetime!".
It's quite interesting watching her interact with her thatha paati on the iPad. Although she has spent considerable time with her grandparents face to face, now her routine is to chat using the iPad and so, she doesn't treat it any differently from face to face. She'll usually demand for facetime and then proceed to do her normal activities as if her thatha paati were right in the room with her. It's not "different" for her to interact with her grandparents this way. Today, she said, "Let's take thatha on a walk into the night!" and I asked her how and she said, "Joiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, like this" and she showed me how we would carry the iPad with us into the night which means that thatha is coming with her for a walk into the night :)
Anyway, coming back to the contention points, the second is k (of course). Every morning, I get up a little earlier than k and r~ so that I can get her lunch box ready while they catch up on some more zzzs. And after screaming out their names 22 times and opening the curtains and playing loud music, k will sleep walk his way into the kitchen, look around for his glasses and/or coffee and then sit down with his...iPad while I fume in the kitchen, calling out a constant stream of instructions that usually lightly bounce off his ears and fall onto the carpet. And when I questioned the necessity to make the iPad an essential body part this early in the morning, he said, well, isn't that what our dads did? They sat with the newspaper -- that's the only difference! This actually made me laugh...the other day, I was drawing with r~ and I found a picture that reminded me of what he said. So, I drew it out on a piece of paper and gifted it to him as a reminder of how thoughtfully he had held up to his side of the argument:
It came out pretty well I thought. He asked if I thought that's where he was heading at the top (notice the baldness), I hadn't thought of that :p
So, the third point which is most likely to cause some heart condition in me has to do with my parents and the iPad. Usually a facetime (chat) session on the iPad goes like this:
Me: "Amma, can you come on facetime, r~ wants to chat..."
Amma: "Now???"
Me: "Yes."
Amma: "But, can't I just talk to r~ on the phone?"
Me: "No." (With r~ screaming into my ears all along, "Facetime, facetime, thatha, paati, facetime!!!")
Amma: "The iPad is in the bureau..."
Me: (With slightly elevated pulse rates) "Why?" -- This is like the point in BBT where the Leonard warns someone not to ask Sheldon Why.
Amma: "Because it is expensive and lot of people come in here. It will get stolen. I can't find the bureau keys..."
Appa: "Amma is looking for the bureau keys to get the iPad out. What is r~ doing? Oh...I hear her. What is she saying? Hellooooo...helllooooooo paaaappa..."
Me: "She won't come on phone pa..." (Thaaaaaaaaaaaathaa, paaaaaaaati...wheeeeeeee -- now she is just screaming just because it is fun)
Amma: (Somewhat breathlessly) "I took it out..."
Me: "Ok, can you come on facetime?"
Amma: "It's not working"
Me: (Enter gritting teeth stage) "W h a t do you mean, it's not working?"
Amma: "It shows a red broken battery and won't even start"
Me: (Coming close to matching r's decibel level) "Why is it not charged?"
Amma: "I can't leave it charging forever. The iPad will heat up...also if it is left outside..." (repeats the whole reason about burglars targeting iPad2's in India)
Me: "Put it on charge now"
Amma: "I did. It's still showing a broken battery."
Me: "Aaarg"
After sometime, I have calmed down, had some cold water, managed to give r~ some fingerpaint which she is using as floor paint but at least she is quiet now. I call India again.
Me: "Ok, iPad charged?"
Amma: "Yes. It doesn't work."
Me: "???"
Amma: (Patiently expands on her terse statement) "Nothing works"
Me: "@#@##$%"
Amma: (Excitedly) "Shall I come on the laptop? It will only take 2 minutes?"
Me: "No, we bought the iPad for a reason....what doesn't work?"
So you can see how it goes. Thankfully, that time L~ was home and he deduced that the internet connection was down and so fixed it (which in India, you do by restarting the modem. Five times a day.)
I haven't even touched upon me remote debugging from here and teaching my dad how to increase volume on the iPad or the time they lost the charger and spent more than the iPad cost to replace it -- need a part 2 to this post :p
April 06, 2010
Thoughts on being a mom -- 1 year later.
I should have gotten around to this long back, 8 months back but better now than when r~ turns 2 -- then I would have to club together the first two years :p
She is taking a nap now, so I am going to write in short bursts, so I can just publish if I have to rush.
* I sometimes want to have another baby just to test out a parenting philosophy/theory (mine). I think this will work but she has already grown past the stage when I can try this out. So, now I have a theory and no baby to try it on!
* What seems like an insurmountable catastrophe today will be forgotten and filed under "Oh yeah, she did do that...almost forgot about it!" Like when she refused to get on the high chair, a car seat, her stroller and I figured I was so terribly wrong with my parenting style that I have a baby that just won't be strapped in anywhere! That phase lasted a week and I turned a year older in that week.
* Frantic internet searches (by the parent, I mean) will not go away. They just make a category jump from infant to baby to toddler to kid to preteen to teen to daughter and so on.
* Cry it out, controller crying, rock it out, nurse it out, baby whispering...finally, believe it or not, she will sleep. 8 hours without waking in the night. Just not now or next year or the next or...
* Being a parent is like being one of those head-spinning robots. Your head is on straight and you are happy because she gave you a kiss and then it's on backwards and she is testing out your patience. And then it's turned sidewards and you can't really see clearly and you imagine things and some days, it goes spinning and spinning until you shut down and collapse.
* Yes, you try really hard to not say no to her. But 55 times a day is not that bad right?
* Yes, you will swear in front of your kid when you stub your toe and no, however hard you try, your mouth is going to fail you one day or another. Anyway she says, "Frog" like ****! Her nanny is trying to get her to say "Froggie" instead :p
* Yes, it would be an ideal world when you have a clone of you taking care of her while the you-you naps. I was reading this interesting book that said if you can't give your toddler something she really wants, at least give her an imaginary world where she gets what she wants and more. Trying the theory out on myself.
* I actually made the "A" with the boiled carrot and a swirl of sauce. She smiled and squished the carrots in the sauce and said, "Brooooooken!" Yup, TV during dinner time it is. Is good for the soul. Mine!
* I am so glad she gives me the opportunity to be proud several times a day. I don't give myself that opportunity because lately I haven't accomplished much (anything)! Like, the other day, she pointed to the flower in Wild Oats and said "Shun-ffowwer"! And when I said, "Please taa" as she licked her popsicle, she said, "Taya maatten!" and laughed!
* I am competing for the mom-who-read-maximum-baby-parenting-books competition. I believe the competition also has a facebook fan page. Do become a fan and vote for me when you get a chance. Also tweet, blog, stumbleupon and digg it :p
* I am going to be squint eyed soon. Judging from the number of times I try to keep track of r~ when I am trying to have a sensible conversation with a friend (and he keeps saying, "I have her". Somehow his "I have her" is different from mine!)
* I have a running commentary of what she is going to do next in my head. So when I am in the middle of something, I'll see her edge towards the ants and I already know what she is going to do next and so I shout out an abrupt "She's gonna do this next. Watch out!" and k always looks up slowly as if to determine if I am indeed the girl he married!)
* No, my life is really not split between the various roles I play after r~ was born -- mother, career woman and such. I have become just a mother who does other things now like working, cooking, writing, dancing...but I am a mother first and everything else is next. And that's the way it's gonna be.
She is taking a nap now, so I am going to write in short bursts, so I can just publish if I have to rush.
* I sometimes want to have another baby just to test out a parenting philosophy/theory (mine). I think this will work but she has already grown past the stage when I can try this out. So, now I have a theory and no baby to try it on!
* What seems like an insurmountable catastrophe today will be forgotten and filed under "Oh yeah, she did do that...almost forgot about it!" Like when she refused to get on the high chair, a car seat, her stroller and I figured I was so terribly wrong with my parenting style that I have a baby that just won't be strapped in anywhere! That phase lasted a week and I turned a year older in that week.
* Frantic internet searches (by the parent, I mean) will not go away. They just make a category jump from infant to baby to toddler to kid to preteen to teen to daughter and so on.
* Cry it out, controller crying, rock it out, nurse it out, baby whispering...finally, believe it or not, she will sleep. 8 hours without waking in the night. Just not now or next year or the next or...
* Being a parent is like being one of those head-spinning robots. Your head is on straight and you are happy because she gave you a kiss and then it's on backwards and she is testing out your patience. And then it's turned sidewards and you can't really see clearly and you imagine things and some days, it goes spinning and spinning until you shut down and collapse.
* Yes, you try really hard to not say no to her. But 55 times a day is not that bad right?
* Yes, you will swear in front of your kid when you stub your toe and no, however hard you try, your mouth is going to fail you one day or another. Anyway she says, "Frog" like ****! Her nanny is trying to get her to say "Froggie" instead :p
* Yes, it would be an ideal world when you have a clone of you taking care of her while the you-you naps. I was reading this interesting book that said if you can't give your toddler something she really wants, at least give her an imaginary world where she gets what she wants and more. Trying the theory out on myself.
* I actually made the "A" with the boiled carrot and a swirl of sauce. She smiled and squished the carrots in the sauce and said, "Brooooooken!" Yup, TV during dinner time it is. Is good for the soul. Mine!
* I am so glad she gives me the opportunity to be proud several times a day. I don't give myself that opportunity because lately I haven't accomplished much (anything)! Like, the other day, she pointed to the flower in Wild Oats and said "Shun-ffowwer"! And when I said, "Please taa" as she licked her popsicle, she said, "Taya maatten!" and laughed!
* I am competing for the mom-who-read-maximum-baby-parenting-books competition. I believe the competition also has a facebook fan page. Do become a fan and vote for me when you get a chance. Also tweet, blog, stumbleupon and digg it :p
* I am going to be squint eyed soon. Judging from the number of times I try to keep track of r~ when I am trying to have a sensible conversation with a friend (and he keeps saying, "I have her". Somehow his "I have her" is different from mine!)
* I have a running commentary of what she is going to do next in my head. So when I am in the middle of something, I'll see her edge towards the ants and I already know what she is going to do next and so I shout out an abrupt "She's gonna do this next. Watch out!" and k always looks up slowly as if to determine if I am indeed the girl he married!)
* No, my life is really not split between the various roles I play after r~ was born -- mother, career woman and such. I have become just a mother who does other things now like working, cooking, writing, dancing...but I am a mother first and everything else is next. And that's the way it's gonna be.
March 04, 2010
Say Aaaa, Bbbb...
Pre-r (which is how I am going to call my pre-parent days), I used to notice one common characteristic among parents. Whenever they had their baby with them, they would try to convince the baby to do something fascinating like saying the alphabets or singing a song or even dancing a particular piece. It almost never worked. The kid would look shy and hide behind the parent or would just look blank and do nothing. I would excitedly wait for the kid to do its wonder but couldn't help wondering what made the parents want so desperately for the kid to perform. I believed them, that the kid can say its alphabets or sing a little jingle or tap dance; then why the attempts to coerce the unwilling kid to do that?
Now, I know. Of course, I know! When friends drop by, I try to not request r~ to do this or that but I can't help myself. She would have just recited her numbers with that steal-your-heart-away mazhalai or done the cutest little poonai-walking imitation and I am so proud/elated/excited that I want to show the world what a genius she is (which am sure is pretty much how a parent feels when their child says "Aaaa Bbbb Sheeee" the first time :-)
Anyway when we have company, we usually and predictably have a scene that goes something like this:
"Kannamma, poona epadi nadakkum kaami?"
"Aeh." That's how she refuses requests when she feels what is asked of her is beneath her level of accomplishments.
"Kanna, amma cake tharen poonai epadi nadakkum kaami?" I am now sitting in front of her at her eye-level which I have read is how you communicate effectively with kids. Bribing with cake was not mentioned but it works occasionally, so...
"Cak."
"Modalla poona madiri pannu."
"Caaaaaaaake." And now she makes her cute-whiny face. So, five minutes later after she has had cake or equally acceptable replacement, I try a different tactic.
"Kannu, 1-2?"
"Onnnnne..."
"Yes, yes. 1-2 Buckle?"
"Onnne..."
"1-2?"
"Aeh"
So, I give up and by now the guests are anyway bored and looking at the clock. The moment the door closes I hear,
"One-Too bucke mashoo, thee foa dooooor, fiiiive six pickupsti, shevem ate laaaay, naaan ten, heeeen."
And then "Cockadoo..."
I swear next time, am going to hide and record her and then just play the video when people drop by!
Now, I know. Of course, I know! When friends drop by, I try to not request r~ to do this or that but I can't help myself. She would have just recited her numbers with that steal-your-heart-away mazhalai or done the cutest little poonai-walking imitation and I am so proud/elated/excited that I want to show the world what a genius she is (which am sure is pretty much how a parent feels when their child says "Aaaa Bbbb Sheeee" the first time :-)
Anyway when we have company, we usually and predictably have a scene that goes something like this:
"Kannamma, poona epadi nadakkum kaami?"
"Aeh." That's how she refuses requests when she feels what is asked of her is beneath her level of accomplishments.
"Kanna, amma cake tharen poonai epadi nadakkum kaami?" I am now sitting in front of her at her eye-level which I have read is how you communicate effectively with kids. Bribing with cake was not mentioned but it works occasionally, so...
"Cak."
"Modalla poona madiri pannu."
"Caaaaaaaake." And now she makes her cute-whiny face. So, five minutes later after she has had cake or equally acceptable replacement, I try a different tactic.
"Kannu, 1-2?"
"Onnnnne..."
"Yes, yes. 1-2 Buckle?"
"Onnne..."
"1-2?"
"Aeh"
So, I give up and by now the guests are anyway bored and looking at the clock. The moment the door closes I hear,
"One-Too bucke mashoo, thee foa dooooor, fiiiive six pickupsti, shevem ate laaaay, naaan ten, heeeen."
And then "Cockadoo..."
I swear next time, am going to hide and record her and then just play the video when people drop by!
December 15, 2008
Being a parent.
If you are one of those people that wondered what it feels like to be newbie parents and what the big deal is about, you are reading the right stuff now :p Or, if you are just being nice to me and reading my post just for the heck of it, that's cool too :)
Remember how we used to consider couples with kids a whole different set of people? People with hefty bags filled with diapers and related paraphernalia, people that were concerned more about their baby's spit-ups rather than their appearance, people that could not talk about anything other than their baby, people with a somewhat needy little one clawing for their attention constantly? We were not them. We even found it hard to imagine how life would be when we became them. Some of us even wondered what "unconditional love" meant. We heard words like sleepless, poop, diapers, doctors and wondered how we would ever inhabit a world filled with those words...
And guess what? Suddenly we are very much in that world. We are now parents that, no matter how interesting a conversation with someone is, always have one eye tracking our baby, we hardly give a second thought to what "poop" used to mean in our older worlds, focusing rather on its texture, smell and contents to smile or frown with concern, we talk less about "I" and more about the baby, we learn that absolute happiness has to do with a lot more than just some "me-time" and we worry. We worry all the time about the little life that we created and hope that it smiles back at us with that adorable, charming, heart-melting, lopsided grin today, tomorrow and forever...
We are now the parents.
Remember how we used to consider couples with kids a whole different set of people? People with hefty bags filled with diapers and related paraphernalia, people that were concerned more about their baby's spit-ups rather than their appearance, people that could not talk about anything other than their baby, people with a somewhat needy little one clawing for their attention constantly? We were not them. We even found it hard to imagine how life would be when we became them. Some of us even wondered what "unconditional love" meant. We heard words like sleepless, poop, diapers, doctors and wondered how we would ever inhabit a world filled with those words...
And guess what? Suddenly we are very much in that world. We are now parents that, no matter how interesting a conversation with someone is, always have one eye tracking our baby, we hardly give a second thought to what "poop" used to mean in our older worlds, focusing rather on its texture, smell and contents to smile or frown with concern, we talk less about "I" and more about the baby, we learn that absolute happiness has to do with a lot more than just some "me-time" and we worry. We worry all the time about the little life that we created and hope that it smiles back at us with that adorable, charming, heart-melting, lopsided grin today, tomorrow and forever...
We are now the parents.
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