Meaning of motherhood.

I wrote this piece for parenting magazine for their meaning of motherhood contest. Not that I won anything for it but was fun to write 300 words that meant a lot to me :)

"I remember: the first wet kiss planted sloppily on my cheek; the day she leaned her tiny head on my shoulder and drifted off to sleep; the moment I watched her cradled on dad’s chest, dad and daughter fast asleep, her gentle snores punctuating the rare, magical silence in my head. I remember how heartbreakingly tiny she looked, swaddled in her pale pink baby cloth. I remember how she stared wonder-eyed at all her birthday gifts from the previous day. That image is tucked away safely in my mind – her tousled hair and sleepy eyes that day, like that of an angel awakened from sleep.

If only motherhood were just moments like these! Then, there is the day she decided she had had enough of the high chair and emptied sticky rice-cereal on to the floor, and did a repeat-performance the next day and then the next; when one day, she got it in her head that she would get all her liquid content from the saline-spray bottle; when she cried because I wouldn’t give her the camera, which I did eventually and then she proceeded to throw it down the stairs; the night she woke up every hour and would not sleep until I rocked her to sleep each time...

Motherhood is about nights like these and how we rise to the challenge and grow with each such experience -- stronger, more capable and better at being a mom. It’s about sweet cuddles, giggles, baby-talk and unbelievable love but it is also about tears and anxiety and just plain cold fear some days that this blessing that we brought into this world remain safe and happy...always. And then it’s morning again and I hear “Ummmmmaaaa”, her big kiss for momma and I know I can do it."

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