About old thoughts.

I read somewhere that mostly our minds just go in circles spending a majority of its time focusing on already repeated thoughts and images. And those of you who know me know that this is indeed true for my mind. I have expressed the same few thoughts in several different ways and have probably come up with a few novel thoughts along the way. Few and far between. And of the thoughts that I often revisit, there is this one thought that often manifests itself into my mental space in the form of an image.

That of an old couple. What is wrong with this image, you ask. It shows that k and I would live to grow old and live to grow old together. All is well.

Now add a few accouterments to this image -- like a heavy grocery bag, snow fall and a walking stick (if you tend to be dramatic like me). Now, the color of the image changes significantly -- it's gone from pleasant pastel shades to a sort of undefined grey (if you are with my mental process still).

And this is the image that I keep circling back to in my head, every now and then. And the thought that goes with that image is that, I don't want to be that person. No really, I have no issues growing old (I believe, I have aged pretty well so far and plan to continue on the good beginning). My issue is with the loneliness and helplessness that I associate with that image (No doubt you pictured a happily chatting couple maybe pulling a grocery cart instead of carrying the heavy bag but stay with my image, will you? Makes my story telling a bit easier). So, my problem with this story is that I don't want to be the protagonist (Yes, k can be the protagonist when he makes up a story and when he puts that in a blog of his own!) here -- that old woman with aging hands, struggling to carry the grocery bag, hating the winter that she hasn't acclimatized to (in the past umm...40 years) and wishing she were in a warm, familiar place instead like...you guessed it, Madras (Oh! You didn't? Ok, catch up with my archives and then come back here for story time!)

Yes, I agree there are several glaring loopholes with my grey image -- grocery shopping will all be done online by that time (as k was kind enough to point out), we might be enjoying the snowfall inside the house in front of a fireplace and possibly with family/kids instead of standing in front of Kroger. All that good stuff. But, that's not my image. Mine is that of husband and wife who often say, "We thought about moving back to India, we just never did. And then, the kids got old. And then, it was too late." I don't want to say that when I am 70.

So, what's stopping me now? For one, the lack of a concrete vision and plan. What do we do after we move to India? Where do we work? Where do we live? For better or worse, my dad is responsible for instilling a constant need to plan and map pros and cons and I continue to do that, all the time. So, why haven't I mapped this out? I guess life gets in the way. Initially, you are a student (FOB, if you will) caught in the excitement of America, then you focus on getting that job with that big company and then it's marriage, house, kids. All big stuff. Good stuff. But then, this old thought swirls in front of you, reminds you of what you have forgotten in the moment (which might be a good thing after all) and exits. It keeps this up until you finally decide to focus on it and do something about it. So, what have I done about it? Thought thoughts :) Thinking is a good thing, isn't it?

And then there's the whole people business. Even on regular days, I like to know that people besides me exist in the background. And since I work from home most of the time, this means, I really like having a nanny at home and the fact that maami comes home to cook twice a week. I miss the general bustle of conversation that is ever present if you live in India. I guess it's something as simple as just hearing people around me. Hardly a reason to wrap up and go. But go figure my mind!

Anyway, more thoughts about this later. For now, I do entertain the mental image and think of ways I can fix it. Who knows? Maybe even if we were in India, the image would probably not change -- our kids would probably have come to the US anyway...but I still can't imagine us living in India without people. And someone "people" seems to be the missing ingredient in my flawed picture anyway. Will update if the mental picture decides to change to that of a healthy old couple walking briskly along the Florida beaches, a vast expanse of blue for company and a golden retriever running behind faithfully ;) Somehow, my mind is not up to conjuring that image as often as it does the other grey image :)

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Sunshine for mama.

So, I have reached out to my laptop to write something several times in the past week and each time online distraction got the better of me and I ended up website hopping/tweet hopping/status hopping and not getting down to writing anything at all. But today, I have some inspiration to hold me in place -- I have a new friend (all of 8 years old). And she has drawn these delightful little characters for me to pen a story for her. So, here goes!

Once upon a time, there lived two puppies named Happy and Glad. They were neighbors and the best of friends. Every morning, as soon as the sun woke them up, they would rush to each other to play and sing and dance until their mamas called them home for lunch. One day, Happy woke up as usual and rushed to kiss his mama goodbye to go and play with Glad. But, when he went into his mama's room, she was sitting very quietly in her room and she had her eyes closed. Happy grew very concerned, "Are you not feeling well, mama?", he asked. She smiled and said, "It's the change in weather. See outside..." and when Happy looked, huge raindrops fell and the sun was nowhere in sight. Just then, Glad and his mama walked into the room. Glad's mama got some warm soup and treats for Happy's mama. The two puppies stood worriedly in a corner as they watched their mothers. Soon, Happy's mama was sipping on her hot soup and Glad's mama said, "Why don't you both go and play in your room? Soon, the sun will be out and Happy's mama will be all better!" And so, the two puppies trotted back into Happy's room to discuss the events of the day.


"Do you think mama will be better soon?", Happy asked. He looked outside the window and said, "The rain makes me so sad. I wish the sun would come out and mama would feel better again."


Glad wanted to make his best friend feel better. Suddenly, he had an idea! "I know how we can make your mama better! Let's bring her some sunshine!"


"What a great idea!" agreed Happy.


"But how? It's raining so heavily outside!"


Glad said, "My mama and I got an umbrella to walk to your house. Let's take that and go looking for some sunshine!"


Happy agreed. He was happy that he could do something to make his mama feel better. So, the two puppies carried the umbrella and went looking for sunshine. Outside, it was drizzling but the sun was nowhere in sight.

Just then, they saw Friendly, the pig rushing to his pen.


"What are you two doing in the rain?" Friendly asked.


"Oh! We are looking for some sunshine. Do you know where we can find it?" asked Happy.


"Hmm...I didn't see any since morning. Why don't you both stay warm and dry inside and we can all go looking for some when the rain stops?" said Friendly huddling close to Happy and Glad under the umbrella.


"Oh! But, my mama is sick because of all the rain and we need the sun to make her better!" cried Happy.


"Oh! Don't be so sad, little Happy. Let me think. Who can help us find some sunshine? I know! Let's ask Wise, the bunny!"


So, the three friends went looking for Wise, the bunny. By then, the rain had almost stopped and the skies were looking more blue than grey.

Wise, the bunny was outside his house collecting some tools to do some gardening. When he saw the three friends, he said, "Happy, Glad and Friendly! How nice to see you! I would call you all in for a cup of tea but I am all set to work in my garden! Care to join me?"


Friendly said, "Oh! We are looking for some sun to take back to Happy's mom. She fell sick because she got wet in the rain and she needs some sun to feel better!"


Wise scratched his head. How could he tell poor Happy that he could not take the sun to his mom? So, he thought of an idea. He picked up a wooden pot that he had set aside to plant some flowers and said, "Let me help you in your quest! Come with me!" And so, Happy, Glad and Friendly followed Wise as he led them to a pool nearby.


Wise pulled Happy near him and pointed to the water in the pool, "What do you see there?"


Happy looked confused, "Water?", he ventured.


"Look carefully, what do you see?"


And so, the three friends peered into the water. And Lo and Behold! There it was, the sun!


"The sun!" They exclaimed together.


"Yes, the sun", agreed Wise, "Now watch carefully, I am going to coax the sun to travel with you to your house!" Saying that, Wise dipped his pot into the water and pointed to the sun's reflection, "Now, I am going to close this pot so the sun is safe inside. Give this to your mama with my regards!"


The three friends thanked Wise and skipped back home. When they reached home, the two moms were happily chatting away in the porch. "Mama, mama!" Happy called out excitedly, "We bought some sun for you so you feel all better!" Saying that, he handed the pot to her.


Happy's mom laughed and winked at Glad's mom. "You did! That must explain why I feel all better now! I'll keep the sun safe with me! Now run along and play while the sun is still out!"

And so, that's what Happy, Glad and Friendly did. They played till it became dark and the sun set but they knew their special sun was all safe and sound with Happy's mama!

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The wall.

I wonder if people read blogs anymore. In this time of status updates and millisecond micro updates aka tweets, do people have the patience to read personal blogs anymore? I ask because there was a time when I used to read blogs and the only blogs I seem to be reading now are technical ones. Instead, I log onto Facebook and stare at my wall. Now, the wall is many things at once. It's sort of a buzzing microcosm of lives (reminds me of Michael Crichton's 'Prey'). Much like Jack's beanstalk, there is no limit to its growth. If you run out of new status updates to read, you can always go back in history and read what people thought two days back (If explained to someone a decade back, they might have questioned the very sanity of why one would do that). And here we are, trying to cling on to the wall while at the same time peering over our shoulders to stare at the drama unfolding elsewhere on the wall.

    meets :) 

I guess in a way, our virtual life has brought us back full circle. Man was and will always be a social animal. Perhaps earlier, he dropped by a neighbour's house to catch up on the little town gossip and lives of others and later; he dialed a bunch of numbers to do the same over the phone. He then progressed to chatting and developed a whole new language to do that. And now, he has multiple ways to share his life with all those people. Which is fun, come to think of it. Who doesn't like talking about themselves? And now, I can share my thoughts on my wall or tweet them and I have the satisfaction that I have sent me 2 cents out to the world at large to ponder upon.

This new way of virtual living raises some interesting questions. How does a person maintain a sense of mystery about him (assuming he wants to)? A friend of mine has not gotten herself a Facebook account. Still (I know!). She considers it a waste of time. Hmm, can't say I entirely agree with her. I follow technical pages on Facebook and I find a lot of useful information there. Even my workplace holds virtual conversations on Facebook! So, back to the mystery question. FB is addictive, we all know that but it also sorts of blurs boundaries that earlier existed in traditional settings. Take our workplace, for example. My colleagues are my facebook friends and know that r~ made a bookmark in the Morris book shop last Saturday, for example. And that little bit of info, somehow changes their perception of me. I am not sure if that's a good thing or not. It makes people seem more human -- all these random bits of trivia about them...

There's the whole long tail argument. If I were a salwaar-kameez clad, modern but tom-boyish teenage girl who likes languages but hates Math and also likes Savannah from Savannah, I might just find someone just like that on FB and then we can start a fan page with an uncommonly long name :)

And then, there's the whole twitching-fingers syndrome -- the urge to constantly stay up to date on the happenings of the wall. I wonder if the constant (albeit) slight adrenaline rush when we are privy to a new information bit will make our normal life seem a tad more boring? Nothing is happening every second of the day (except maybe your 2 year old let water flow from the sink to all the restroom shelves and let them soak the soft bathroom mats...oh! Long story!). And then, there was this article I read recently about how FB actually makes people sadder because they keep comparing themselves (some unconsciously) to the happy pictures and delightful wall updates and thinking their own lives don't match up (which is unrealistic, no one leads lives smiling with their face smushed to their lovely child's cheek all the time -- the next second, the child, for all we know, took a nice dab of blue paint and marked it on both their faces...)

Not sure what to make of all this innovation. Technology is changing. And we, with it. Of that, I am sure.

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Best Tamil movies.

No, I am not really going to rate what I have seen or do anything original here. Basically, am part of what Bitsians call "Spec & Audi" dept -- part of the spectators and audience :p So, a few weeks back, d~ mentioned that he saw "Uthiri pookal" because almost everywhere on the web, people claimed that was the best Tamil movie made (compared to the other Tamil movies made around that time). And so, I convinced k that we really have to watch the best Tamil movie ever made and so we watched "Uthiri pookal" one night from 12 - 2.30 AM (Didn't really want r~ to watch that movie, so had to wait for her to fall asleep). Apparently Mani Ratnam said if he came close to what J.Mahendran did in Uthiri Pookal, he will be a happy man. Imagine that!

I liked a few dialogues in the movie but I guess I was comparing it to the movies made after that time period and so didn't see anything very special about that movie. I liked the fact that the villain was not overly dramatic and conveyed a lot with a sadistic smile or a nod of his head. I liked the dialogue in the end where his new wife tells him that she may not have the physical strength to overpower him but can easily mix some poison in his food! But anyway, I read a bit more about this movie and then went on to "Mullum Malarum" which some people claimed was even better than Uthiri.. and also, it came with full blessings from L~. So, another late night was spent watching MM.

I also watched MM because I was curious about Shobha. So many people claimed she was a very realistic actress and she died so young and so famous. I liked "Senthaazham poove..." But again, I didn't think (and k definitely did not think) that the movie was a breakthrough, coming of age movie or anything like that. Again, because, I was comparing it to movies made much after it. K claimed i got my overly dramatic tendencies from overly dramatic Tam movies like these :p

Since, I was on a J.Mahendran movie spree, thought I'd try Johnny next. b~ suggested "Moonru mugam". So here is my list so far:

1. Uthiri pookal
2. Mullum malarum
3. Update: Nenjathai Killadhe (watched this today) -- This one is strikingly similar to Mouna Ragam (especially the second half!) Some of the characters were still overly dramatic (Suhasini's brother's wife...) and the comedy track didn't really hold my attention. Not sure why the poor kid had to fall sick but overall, was able to watch the movie till the end. Liked Suhasini in the movie. Again, it was probably a good movie in the 1980s and is still a decent flick.

4. Johnny/Moondru mugam?

So yeah, if you have a Tamil movie that totally changed your life :), do mention and I am going to add it to this list. K has been asking to watch "Guna" for quite sometime because he likes the song, "Kanmani anbodu". Or maybe I should watch "Vedham Puthithu" (which I have watched earlier and don't remember much of it except that it was about the caste system?) The only Mani Ratnam movie that I haven't watched is "Iruvar", maybe I should watch that. There was that movie with SriVidya and Kamal Hassan...shucks, I don't remember the name. She is much older than him and they fall in love. I need to watch that. Someone picked a scene from that movie as their most favorite scene. Hmm.

Random: I liked "Unnal mudiyum thambi" but didn't see that mentioned anywhere. Also, "Devar magan" and "Galatta kalyanam" (but I guess people usually don't consider comedies seriously enough to put it on a top 10 or top 50 list). "Anjali", "Idhayathai thirudaathe", "Alaipayuthey", "Kannathil..." are other movies I would add to my personal favorite list. I need to see movies by other directors!

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2011: Being myself.

When I was in school, I wanted to be like Radha Lakshmi, sometimes like this other girl Usha-something. At Bits, I wanted to be like other girls I saw -- mainly the confident ones who probably were just like me but just me minus the lack of confidence. And I am now a mom and I still wish to be like other women sometimes. Some, because I think they are just cooler and more fun to hang out with, some for their fearlessness, some for their ability to gel with all kinds of people, some for their accomplishments. But, the more I achieve, the more I want to be these other people and that doesn't give me a break. I don't look back and give myself a pat on the back ever for anything. It's always, now that that's over, what next? I didn't congratulate myself even for the home birthing attempt and tough stint at the hospital for r~. Only, when I saw the note that k had sent me, several days later, did I realize that it had been a difficult time, it was okay to acknowledge that for a second and not worry about the baby and, I had actually done a pretty good job bringing r~ into this world :p

Anyhow, 2011 is going to be me being myself. I am going (to try) to be myself and appreciate what I am and what I have. 2012 can be about being a better mom, better dancer, better wife, better blogger :p 2011 is just going to be to breathe deeply and stay still and be me. The closet is organized, the toys are picked up (or maybe not), the laundry can stay awhile in the washer but it's ok to sit back and watch "Outsourced" :) Really, it is. The show is fun and I deserve the break just for being myself.

Bring on 2011 and let me be me, for a change!

Happy new year to you all! Peace and Love.

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"Amma happy"

I have my share of raising-a-toddler-trials-and-tribulations to share but I am beginning to reconsider my original thoughts on raising a 2 year old. As days pass, she does so many astonishing things that they well beat the "trying" part of parenting (By "trying", I mean, the insistence on subsisting on nothing but cakes, popsicles and cheese; refusing to wear short sleeved t-shirts, sleeve-less t-shirts, shorts, the cutest skirts thereby rendering 3 whole shelves of her clothing obsolete; saying "Nathi", "Illa [Iyyya]", "No" about 36 times a day -- 36 times for each language...and more recently, "Naan thoongayen, enna diturb pannada pappa" -- I am sleeping, don't disturb pappa!)

The biggest thrill for me is the ability to meaningfully communicate with her (Like today morning, she woke up, smiled at me and said, "Amma nee azhaga iyuke"). The other day I told her I was feeling sad and she said "B~ maama edho sollitta" (B maama said something...), B maama being my manager! A week earlier I had told her if I didn't finish my office work, B maama will be angry with me! And the fact that she made the connection and assumed I was sad because B maama said something was pretty cool! When she just started stringing words together, she once stopped mid-walk (we were strolling around the house), drew a little air circle around my face and said, "Amma happy"...that was the highlight of the day for me!

The ability to express herself also means she now can clearly state what she wants and why and why nothing else will do. When she was younger, I used to ask her "Cake or pasta", "yellow or blue" knowing she will always pick the second option. Sadly, that is no longer a trick she falls for. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

I particularly like this phase because she is fascinated by stories! Stories from books and stories I make up. Her eyes grow wide and you can see the wonder in them, that the world is so full of brilliant stories to be discovered...you almost want to be her and listen to those stories the very first time so you can experience that feeling!

Oh and she can sing songs now...which means k and I get to pick our favorite movie songs and play them to her and she can actually sing them back to us (Ok, that is not exactly an educational moment but it has its merits such as playing her favorite song on youtube so some form of food can find its way into her mouth!)

It's almost like they have turned into real, little people who can tell us how things should be done instead of us always telling them what to do! And they are at an age where the magic still exists -- she really thinks we can heal with a kiss and God actually said thank you when she gave God the raisins, that there is a little butterfly baby that is waiting forever on our kitchen window, that the night lights become too hot and hence have to be turned off at night, that every morning the Sooooyiyan (Sooriyan -- Sun) has come to wish her Good morning, that Avvaiyaar paati is still making dosas on the moon...

Ah...to just believe in magic and tales. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

And here she is singing ♫"Lakde ki Kaati"♫

[Listen in Quicktime]

Current favorite book -- Bobo!

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Let it snow...

It's snowing outside, baby is napping after bouncing @ BounceU for a birthday party and am hoping I can catch "Date night" (the movie not an actual date night, those don't exist post r~ :p) before she wakes up...

I haven't been doing much lately except reading books and doing the same ol'. L~ recommended "Into thin air" which was quite a haunting book that I struggled to get out of my head but finally "Mini-shopaholic" did the trick. Our workplace moved to a new location which is smaller and more claustrophobic than our current one. Thank God for work-from-home. I think if there were no work-from-home option, I might just quit.

Recently started watching Outsourced and Big bang theory (which I have been watching for quite sometime online) on TV every Thursday -- love it!

Hmm...can't quite think of anything else to write about. Mind and words waiting for summer warmth!

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Happy Deepavali!

It's that time of the year again. For the past 10 years, deepavali for me usually means:

1. Emails/chats and more recently Facebook status updates about how everyone here is missing Deepavali in India -- the TV programmes, firecrackers, sweets, people...why did waking up early then seem like a difficult thing to do? Isn't not waking up or being woken up on Deepavali an infinitely more difficult feeling to experience?

2. Less than 50°F outside (This year, it's even colder -- it's 39°F outside) -- can't head out without layers...can still recall the cool, misty dawns of those days when the men folk would head out to burst the big crackers while I stayed behind happy with my fire sparklers, no Lakshmi vedi for me!

3. ISD calls from India and to India wishing each other a happy Deepavali...tinny voices over a wire attempting to share a significant moment of togetherness over miles and miles of distance...

4. Waiting for the work day to end so one can at least celebrate Deepavali the few precious free hours one gets after 5 PM -- How is it that Deepavali always falls on a work day?

5. Or in more recent work-from home-times, staring at my screen, willing the bugs away, sitting in my PJs on the couch with Jaya TV on mute -- wondering about warmer times and distant places...

6. Hurriedly dressing up and heading to the temple in the evening so at least one little bit of the day's tradition is intact -- Happy Deepavali God, stay warm!

7. (And finally)Weekend celebrations -- A get-together after Deepavali to talk about simpler times and a younger us...

Happy Deepavali to you all. May the day and the years ahead be filled with happy moments and togetherness!

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Living in the head of a 2 year old.

Sometimes I wonder what goes on in r's head when she makes specific (and quite unreasonable) demands and expects to take them to completion. The other day, she insisted on wearing 2 pairs of socks inside the house and roaming about in them. She slipped a couple of times on the floor but still wanted to wear them. Yesterday in the mall, she wouldn't remove the gloves and hat I had put on her to check the size. Finally, I had to get another pair and scan that one to buy it! I trust the written word :p and usually take to  books to find answers to my questions (the non google type of questions which involve more thought than the shortest route to a park) but parenting is an ongoing lesson that I have picked up on more through practical experience than through books. Nope, doesn't mean I'll stop reading my parenting books. I will continue to do so, so I can at least pretend while I read that I am going to be an ideal parent but somewhere in the corner of my mind, I'll know that r already has a trick to get past my latest parenting tool!

No transition is easy and now we are trying out preschool for her (couple of hours one day a week) and she has her own thoughts about it and so far this is what I have gleaned out of her head: that she wants an exciting world full of colors and shapes and people, most importantly kids but she also wants her mom or dad to stand in the corner and watch so she can run to them when she feels uncertain. If only I could create such a world for her! I can tell she is getting a bit bored at home, even with a nanny, that her toys don't interest her as much. She still likes her books but a 2 year old can not read throughout the day! But in the outside world, she wants her mom or dad to stand guard for her and I don't blame her -- it's a scary world out there. So, she is trying to find her balance while we try to find ours with work and home.

My next book is Let's see if I can get something useful out of it!

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About being back home...

Yesterday r~ and I went for a walk in the evening and while she chatted on about the sky and the moon and Avaiyar paati in the moon, I hugged myself bracing against the already chilly air and I guess against the winter to follow. The neatly lined cookie-cutter houses looked orderly, well-maintained yet distant. And that's the thing about this country. You can see the chandelier on inside the houses and the table already set for an early dinner but it's as if the house is bereft of conversation and sounds and people! An evening walk at this time in Madras would mean a friendly hi from at least our watchman and the few maamis rushing to the Krishnar temple right outside our house there...

I had this similar feeling of loneliness when I sat staring at the five huge suitcases that had to be unpacked. Suitcases filled with bits and pieces of home that I hoped would fill my house here with the same scents and colors that I had left  behind in India. We have been busy socially the one weekend that we have spent since we came back, thanks to Navaratri Golu but what now? It's as if this indescribable aura is all around us, when r~ says "Ellayum Indiala irukaa" or mentions people back home or when k is away for an evening, this aura pervades our house, shooting questions at me, "Is it really worth all the trouble?" But then, I could just be consumed by a sense of nostalgia and homesickness and attributing every small annoyance to the fact that this is not India. I would probably be fine in a few weeks when things have fallen back into a predictable routine here...I just don't know yet. All I know is, the evening when k had a bowling game was well on its way to being a pretty boring evening for me until I decided I needed to head out of the house and search for some people to talk to! So, I did that. Packed r~ in her cute blue sweater and went to drop by the Indian family's house that's just a few houses away from mine. After spending an hour there catching up with that maami, I felt better and headed back home feeling not so distraught.

I feel like k and I are picking up on small things to fight about because we are still fighting to settle back in this country after a supremely satisfying vacation in India. And as my dad predicted, r~ bravely adapted to the country change and is busy running about doing what she considers is her business for the day :) Although, I can tell she realizes more than she lets on -- she acts so excited and happy when people drop by home here, I can tell she wants the attention she had back...

So while I deal with the change and I guess myself, expect similar themed posts and feel free to speak your mind!

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India - Days 23 - 30.

You heard of the phrase, "Mera dham gud raha he idhar?" (Not sure if I said that right) I think that's about how I feel here. I don't want to be back. I don't want to be home sick. But mostly, I don't want to be going back to work. Let's wrap up the India trip though before I talk about my current situation.

The remaining days in Bombay were just a whirl of shopping, good food, relaxation, luxury and Endhiran! I went to Shopper's Stop about 22 times to buy/return/alter r's cute salwaar kameez among other things. We spent a pretty fabulous day at the Taj Mahal palace, thanks again to L~. If all you have to do is live a life like that, am all for Bombay ;) It's a different world inside the hotel. It's actually a different world for super rich folks in India. If I could be rich in India, that would really be like having the cake and eating it too...but even the not so rich have full time help in the house, something I sorely miss in the US.

I must mention the eating binge I went on in India. I think I covered all the must-eat desserts, malai kulfi, malai kulfi rabdi, gulgand rasmalai, peda and even the chili icecream from Bachelor's (I do not recommend it unless you want a mix of reactions flooding your palate like this: it starts off with a nice "icecreamy" sweetness and then the cold sort of morphs into chili heat once it's down your throat! I could only take 3 spoons of it!)

I experienced monsoon rain in Bombay (although only for a short while) which was pretty cool. I got introduced to k's mom's tailor who functions from a small space in a "gali": rent Rs.500 per month. I visited k's uncle who lives in one of those uber cool houses at Church gate, a stone's throw from Nariman point: house value: 5-6 crores maybe? I walked down Nariman point and took r for a ride in the ghoda gadi at her request :) c tells me, Nariman point is where SRK looked at the stars and dreamt that he would be a star! So now people come here and talk big hoping they could pull off what SRK did :)

We had a teary farewell in Bombay as well (k's mom). r had a blast the whole time except for a pretty painful constipation situation. Oh! We also drove on the Sea link road (what's it called?) twice! That was pretty cool. Almost like driving in US because you get off it and see all those high rise buildings and you can't really tell that you are in India -- could be mistaken for any downtown view in the US. k's mom and I did a couple of auto rickshaw trips. At one point, we waited for 15-20 mins calling for autos and being ignored by the auto driver clan for some mysterious reason!

The surprising part was meeting someone who used to live in Lex, catching up with another friend who is still iving in Lex :), another friend who seems to be living the r2i dream :p and an old School friend!

It's 4 PM here and am sleepy, so rest of the story later. For now, pictures...

Inside Shopper's Stop watching the rain outside...

@ Taj Mahal palace

Fruit tart that vanished in a flash!

Laundry @ Taj -- can't get enough of these photos!

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India trip - Days 20 - 22

Jotting down random notes before r wakes up or I have to run:

* I met an 85 year old lady who lives next door to k's parents. Her small 1 BR apartment has a showcase lined with neatly wrapped books. I asked her if I could take a look and saw that the books were not only wrapped in brown paper (remember the brown wrapping paper we used to cover our school notebooks?) but were also labeled with numbers. She then produced a ruled notebook that had an index of all the numbers matching them to the titles and authors of the books. I thought that was pretty neat. She said a girl who had just passed 12th standard had helped organize her books and offered to introduce me to the girl :)

* I bought Eat, Pray, Love from a dude selling a huge stack of books car to car while stuck in a traffic jam. Apparently, that's quite common in Bombay. But we usually don't get much time to negotiate. I bought this book for Rs.100!

* The other day while on our way back from Sab Kuch which is a cool restaurant that serves as it's name suggests, pretty much everything, and c was pointing out the sights of the city when I saw some 30 people sleeping right in front of a closed store -- Bombay is a mixed bag like that, you sort of never know what to expect. Back to Sab kuch...if you order pani puri here, a guy rolls a pani puri cart towards you and serves sanitized pani puri gloves and all! I ate falooda with kulfi here and decided I didn't care much for it.

* We went to p & c's house and the highlights there were the oonjal (swing) for r and seethaphal basundhi for us! Oh! I forgot the stick kulfi which r insisted on eating on her own!

* If I had to give one big fat reason why we wouldn't move to Bombay, that would be commute. If you don't have an AC car at your disposal, you are stuck. Yes, you can call from a cool cab but that takes between 30-45 mins to come and it's point to point. If you own an AC car and you drive, that's cool but parking is a pain. Day before yesterday, we decided wisely to go to InOrbit mall in Malad. Air conditioned, nice games, eats and I thought I'd spend an evening relaxing in the mall. But apparently, Bombay goes to InOrbit or one of it's sister malls on Saturdays and Sundays. Since the whole of Bombay was there, it was pretty much like being in an un-airconditioned place with loads of people creating loads of conversation noise and add to that the noise produced by all the gaming consoles. I had fun playing on the dancing game thingie -- what do you call it? But a half hour later, we were all set to leave the mall. The visit to the mall was anything but relaxing.

* Today went to Shopper's stop which is pretty much like any other shopping mall in the US except for the startling variety of colors and designs that you can never find in American clothes. Took an auto today and sweated my way through the afternoon heat and traffic fumes. Yup, traveling no fun here.

* The disparity between rich and poor is stark here. Even the kids learn that they can order some people to do their commands like the maid servant or the cook. If you are a rich kid in India living in a nuclear family, there is a high possibility of getting "spoilt" because you can get away with not cleaning your room, picking up your clothes ever or even setting foot in the kitchen. A maid serves you hot rotis or cold milk shakes and you get used to service 24/7. If there isn't a grand parent around to caution and if the parents are busy with work and life, then it's an easy easy life for the kids. Today I saw a teenage kid lying in bed watching TV at full volume while a maid swept and cleaned his room...to be fair to him, he probably did do his share of work but maybe he didn't and all he had to do is ask the maid to clean up after him...hmm.

Checkmarks and eats: Sab kuch restaurant, seethaphal basundhi, western express highway, corn kachori and stick kulfi, Temptations ice cream, InOrbit mall

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India - Days 13 - 19

We celebrated r's birthday at New Woodlands Hotel in Chennai. My dad had hired a magician, Mr.Raja aka Kingzz for the day which was fun. His show was entertaining to the kids and adults alike. This was followed by a short video clip of r that I had put together -- sort of catching up on her life for my friends and relatives in Chennai. On 26th evening, we went to Parthasarathy temple again and from there to Ratna cafe. k took a second dose of the coffee there and I must admit, that was the best filter coffee I had during my Madras trip! That night we went to the beach to say bye bye before leaving Madras. r~ did her regular running-running in the beach and then we headed home.

The next morning passed in a blur. Before I knew it I was at the airport and although I had resolved to not cry this time, predictably I burst into tears just before waving good bye :( On the short flight to Bombay, I intensely disliked k for not wanting to move to India. Anyway we landed in Bombay and it didn't seem to have changed much since the last time I was here. The traffic and crowd here is a bit more than in Madras. New Bombay roads are cool, pretty much like US highway roads. I spent a couple of hours shopping with p~. The store, Sajani had a good collection of materials for salwaar kameez and the dude there was extremely agreeable:

p: "This dress doesn't need lining, does it?"
Him: "Yes, yes, you can wear it without lining, no problem"

p: "Hmm but will it look better with lining?"

Him: "That it will (वो तो हे)"


Then, when p is busy looking at a material, he tells me, "Buy your sister-in-law one more dress no?" and when he thinks I am not looking, he tells p, "You should ask her to buy more dresses, she is going to US no?"

Then, p took me to a tailor shop and like most places in Bombay, there was an infinity fit into a finite space. The small room had another smaller (3 feet by 3 feet?) room where I saw one tailor working on a tailoring machine and then I peeked some more and found two other tailors also sitting and stitching there in that impossibly small space. There were cloths and dresses lying everywhere in that tiny room. Finally, I asked him how he managed to keep his orders straight and he showed me how he stapled small bits of each dress material to the bill and another small matching bit to the customer bill. He also said something about writing the customer order number on the dress although I didn't see him doing that. He rolled up my salwaar and kameez material in a bundle and tossed it carelessly next to several other bundles. So, I asked him what happened if the salwaar and kameez material got misplaced and he said he can tell with a glance which salwaar material goes with which kameez material. And then there were the complicated patterns to select from -- how do you want the front next? V? U? Boat shape? Back neck? Hand -- puff sleeves? Sleeveless? Transparent sleeves? Short sleeves? We let him pick most of it since it was too confusing to decide!

We headed to Lonavala for a few days and stayed in a co-op housing bungalow there. It took me a while to get used to the concept. Basically, rich  man x wants a vacation home where he will stay probably a month a year. The rest of the year since the house needs someone to stay in it for it to be in good shape, rich man rents the bungalow to other folks. There is a cook who lives in the premises and you can ask him to cook what you want (and that is paid) and you have the house to yourself. We managed to co-exist with several life forms in that bungalow (humongous cockroaches -- now I sort of see why he wants people to actually live in the bungalow else it will be overtaken by cockroaches and their cousins and relatives!) and then headed out to Ambi valley (a nice scenic drive), had masala chai on the peak and headed back home. The drive back was tiring and we got stuck in traffic. Poor c (p's husband) drove all the way home and we collapsed on the bed (except for r who managed to take a nap in the car). Lonavala and the drive to the peak reminded me of Smokey mountains and Gatlinburg. Of course, you don't get the "world's best vada pav" in the Gatlingburg shopping strip!

Exhausted after a long day, so rest in pictures...

Best vada pav ever, recommended by c -- k had like 50 of them!

Cute pizza ad at a shopping mall in Lonavala

Malai Kulfi Rabdi at Kailash Parbat, Lonavala -- too rich for words!

Road side vegetables -- seeing this scene after ages!

The creator of the vada pavs!

Eats and Treats check marks :) -- Shir sagar (paav bhaji), Kailash Parbat (Dahi papdi chat), Raam Krishna @ Lonavala (regular punjabi fare and kulfi), Mega mall food court (Vada paav, "rose"), street vada paav and bhajia @ Lonavala, masala chai & corn bhajia @ Lonavala peak.

Chennai: filter coffee @ Ratna Cafe, samosa and gulab jamoon from Gangotri, South Indian parotha and mosambi juice @ Saravanas, Kashmiri pulaav and triple sundae @ Brindavan, Woodlands

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India - Days 9-12

k returned back to Madras on 20th at some unearthly early morning time and l~ came home a day earlier than he had announced -- that was a nice surprise. I went to Ramanathan pathara kadai again and spent another bundle buying copper-bottomed stainless steel containers, a pressure cooker, nei jaadi (a small vessel to hold ghee) etc. The store had a computer but that was used more like a calculator to add up the total sum. The vessels themselves did not have any item number on them. The store folks just consulted an old ruled notebook to figure out the cost of the vessels. The store was extremely small but had everything!
We even bought a banana hammock and a dish rack there. Customer service there is based on how much money you have to spend. An old guy smelling of tobacco came to get his mixer blade repaired and had to wait the entire length of time we were there.

Ramanathan & Co

Then we headed to Shankara hall (Of course!) We spent an hour browsing there and I bought some golu bommais, an incense stand and picked out some wall hangings. My mom selected a 3D Parthasarathy wall hanging which was quite beautiful (all blue and gold). It's extremely humid here and somehow that's more exhausting than just being hot. I had an equally exhausting (although in a nice way) dance practice session and then we headed to Fisherman's Cove at Kovalam beach (courtest l~ who gets employee discounts there).

The view at Fisherman's cove is breathtaking. Blue waves crashing on the golden sand, green landscapes and coconut trees surrounding our rooms...it's a different world here. It's almost as if I am back in the US (clean, wide corridors, dim lighting, western toilets) until I see the innumerable Indian staff employed to maintain the 5 star hotel. With the exception of my horrendous hair style (think Monica style frizzy hair, thanks to humidity -- remember that FRIENDS episode?) , it's blissful here. Service is the magic word here. Press a button and a man appears to clean your room, get you freshly squeezed sweet lime juice, decadent desserts, press your clothes and fold them in neat little white covers arranged in a wicker basket, a rose placed on a leaf on top of the clothes (Seriously! Yesterday it was a red rose, today yellow).The men had an underwear shortage situation since they gave away everything to be laundered!

View from our room

Sathukudi juice -- my favoritest!

We went or at least tried to go on a boat ride yesterday. We walked in the hot sand, wore our huge life jackets, convinced r~ to wear one and then sat on the boat. But, the motor sound, the rocking boat, the waves crashing into the boat and on her face were too much for her to handle. So she loudly protested and we headed back to the shore. Then k~ and l~ went back to complete their boat ride. k said he swam in the Bay of Bengal (or at least floated with life jacket in the water) and that I should try it too (Fat chance).

Fresh-pressed laundry

We opted for in-room dining a couple of times and stuffed ourselves crazy but after a couple of times that got boring and so we headed to the Mediterranean restaurant nearby. We ordered some familiar and some strange sounding dishes and they were all tastefully arranged on a plate (Food network style plate decorations!) and four different type of desserts! Yesterday we headed to the beach and watched the waves which looked beautiful bathed in the moonlight (but a bit ominous at night) and the crabs which were everywhere. r~ ran about as usual and we just hung out in lounge chairs. She actually fell asleep at the beach. k did his first Ganapathy visarjan at the beach :) The guard said we couldn't go into the water at night but made an exception for our spiritual quest. Yesterday we tried a multi-cuisine restaurant where they took almost an hour to serve us our order. Then we took a buggy back to our room (Oh yeah, the buggy. It's sort of like a low-weight open jeep that works on batteries. To go to any place within Fisherman's cove, we need to ask for a buggy and the driver will take us to the beach, one of the restaurants, the spa etc. I endured some painful threading and waxing but the facial was neat and the detox tea they serve (jaggery, lemon juice and holy basil) is amazing! Looking forward to my "relaxation massage" today (and the detox tea even more).

We went to the crocodile bank yesterday which didn't seem to be that well maintained but true to its name did house a large number of crocodiles.We then went to Mahabalipuram. Like true NRIs, we hired a tour guide and that turned out to be a good thing. He narrated a lot of stories explaining the significance of each important landmark there (Arjuna's penance, Bhima's stove, Krishna's butter ball, the shore temple...) He pointed to a pillar which seemed like it had the carving of a cow and then he hid the cow's face and the carving looked like an elephant! Mahabalipuram was probably the highlight of the trip. The shore temple is pretty amazing...I'll put up pictures here soon - the beauty is better demonstrated through images than words.

Krishnar vennai

Shore temple

@Mahabalipuram

Back to the real world today evening...

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India - Days 7 & 8

Today for a change we went to Guindy National Park. We probably covered 1/4th of the park and then got too tired and sweaty and so called it a day. The park is well maintained and can probably take up several hours if you plan well and wish to cover the entire park. r~ saw deer, snakes, porcupines, birds of Vedanthangal, monkeys, fish and even got to go on a swing. I didn't realize Guindy National Park was the hangout for couples until today. Everywhere I turned, I saw lovey-dovey pairs hugging, sitting next to each other and just smiling for nothing, staring into each other's eyes...you get the picture. Maybe this is where they enjoy some togetherness while also checking out some wild life!

~*~*~*

I always complain about the dresses that my parents send for r~ and me. They are always too tight, too loose, too shirt -- something is always off. Today I discovered the reason for the continuity in the pattern. My dad took me to our "family tailor" -- an old old man stared at me through thick glasses from behind the tailoring machine. He had one lone assistant in a small shop in Mylapore. After my dad repeated what he said twice, he took note of us, nodded and took the dresses from my dad (to be altered). I guess he is the "aagivandha tailor" and so we stick to him. At least he is better than K.R.Dressers who said he was busy and needed a minimum of 1.5 months to stitch stuff.

~*~*~*

We ate at Sangeetha's today. I don't know if I would have noticed this if I hadn't left India and returned but I definitely found some unsafe areas there. The restroom was completely wet and when I stepped out, I lost my balance a couple of times on the smooth restaurant floor (and this was with me carrying r~). The other day at a jewelry store, they had a full length mirror on what looked like a wall and when I stood in front of it, a man suddenly rushed out of what happened to be a door with a mirror on the outside. I noticed the small handle on the door later. If I hadn't moved in time, it would have been a classic Tom and Jerry scene with an RS shaped mark in the mirror :p

~*~*~*

Am overeating everyday! Today's menu was biriyani, raitha, crisp alu curry in the afternoon; thayir vada, paniyaaram, idiyaapam and filter coffee for tiffin and paav bhaji and curd rice and pulikachal for dinner. I keep thinking my dance classes will balance out the extra calories but it is looking pretty doubtful now.

~*~*~*

r~ is getting so much attention from her thatha-paati, I don't know how I am going to compensate for that back in the US. Plus she has the maid and the cook to entertain her, the driver and the watchman play small games with her. People people everywhere...what is a mom to do?

~*~*~*

I went to AVM sound zone in Alwarpet. Seemed like a nice store that I wish I had more time to browse in...I need to go to Spencers before I travel to Bombay...can't do a Madras visit without setting foot in Spencers!

~*~*~*

Everyone seems to be into cleanliness here. Every store I visit has someone sweeping the place with a broom -- Outside Apollo hospital, the jewelry store, Shanthi tailors, Nageswara Rao park, inside Sangeetha restaurant!

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India - Days 5 & 6

I ran into someone from Lex at Parthasarathy temple. What are the odds of that  happening?! Today we went to Marina beach again because r~ can't get enough of it! A couple of days back on the way to the beach, opposite the commissioner's office right in front of the beach, a traffic police dude stopped our car. He said we had taken a wrong turn and insisted we we wrong even when our driver tried to talk and explain something. And then, the dude says, "100 Rs kudunga"! I guess the wrong turn is fine when 100 Rs enter the picture? I mean, it's nothing new but it made me mad.

I also went to the hospital to get some tests done. The endocrinologist was as I had assumed she would be. To the point, knowledgeable and quick to grasp the situation. She didn't complain that I did not have the recent blood test results, did not ask unnecessary questions, worked with the data she had and quickly diagnosed the problem. And the wait itself was not too bad although the general sound levels were a world away from that in the US. A constant buzz of conversation surrounded me even in the areas marked "Silent". But the staff was quick and efficient and really, they had no choice considering the number of people standing in line.

I always assumed learning Bharatanatyam in India would be a difficult job ("Muttilaye poduven") but the teacher here is not really strict. She is pretty much like my teacher in the US. Patient (of my mistakes) and passionate about dance although the workout here is a bit harder than in the US. Dancing in hot weather is as difficult as dancing in cold weather!

r~ reacts differently to the people here. She doesn't freak out when people touch her cheeks and her stranger anxiety is much lesser than in the US. Probably also has to do with the language since (for now) she is more comfortable in Tamil than English.

More later...not thinking too coherently now, pleasantly exhausted and ready for zzz.

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India - Days 2, 3 & 4

Shopping: Service rocks here. If you have the cash flow, you get a personal shopper at almost every store here. I went to Sukra's to buy temple jewelry and all I had to do was read from my list and the salesman there got everything I needed and explained the choices I had. It was quick and very convenient. Ditto at Nalli silks and Citibank. The thatha at Nallis helped me choose the silk sarees and at one point actually picked out 3 sarees and said I must buy those!


Travel: Traveling in Chennai is a pain. No news there. But, if you have a car and a driver, you are sort of insulated. It's like travelling in a bubble watching the madness outside but shielded from it. Even if you own a car, it's quite a task to find a parking spot for any place. 2 wheelers dominate the road. But the stores themselves are a lot more interesting than stores in the US, mainly because these are family owned, mom and pop stores and it's refreshing to have people help us choose products instead of staring at aisles and aisles of products and having to choose, buy and assemble everything yourself.

We went to Marina beach which was fun. Nageswara Rao park was good for r~ although she couldn't really play in the toddler play area (too wet, too many puddles and very different from the "sanitized" parks of America) but it was nice to walk in the park and it was well maintained. We went to Parthasarathy temple which was surprisingly tiring (I know am not supposed to say that) but delightful all the same. r~ kept announcing loudly that there were Umachis (Gods) everywhere and at one point inside a Sannidhi said, "Velila polam, anga chillunu irukum" (Let's go outside, it will be colder outside). She was flushed by the time we finished but she enjoyed the temple trip.


Eat: I ate my "favoritest" foods in the whole world, South Indian parotha, kuruma, raitha and sathukudi juice from Saravana Bhavan! Ate Gulab jamoon and samosas from Gangotri. We have a cook at home for a short while but as with all service providers needs a fair bit of maintenance. She and my mom launch into atha-paati kathai (stories) often much to my dad's irritation because it usually results in us paying the cook for talking to my mom more than cooking :p Yesterday I had elumbichanga oorgai (lemon pickle) and spicy mangai (raw mango) with thayir sadam (curd rice).

People: Everyone here is more open about family matters in front of others, even strangers, except if it involves money :p And the relationships with neighbors, gate keeper, car driver, maid servant, milk lady are closer than in the US. So all of these folks were waiting to see r~ and came home to see her. The calling bell rings home several times a day and so does the phone and the cell phones in the house. Our house is going to sound disconcertingly silent when we go back to the US. People here also offer advice more easily than in the US. Another sight comfortingly familiar is the sacred marks on the foreheads of the people here.  Guests don't expect to be entertained here. So, it's perfectly ok to be cooking or cleaning or even paying bills while the guests make themselves comfortable at home. For kids, even without the better play areas, parks, large open spaces, India is a better place w.r.t the attention they get from people (More on this later).

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India -- Days 0 & 1

Travel: The first thing I noticed in Brussels (Ok technically not India but let's let's assume it is) airport was the restrooms. I walked into a restroom area, saw the full doors and almost assumed I was in the wrong place. I have always been a supporter of restroom doors that don't stop 1/2 way through like shorts instead of pants (or 3/4ths) especially in those years when I was still new to the US but when the third person tried to lower the latch of my restroom door to see if someone was in or not, I discovered an advantage to the American style restroom -- you always know when someone's inside and the size and style of the shoes they wear!

I was thrilled when I saw that my snack for the last leg of the flight was Paav Bhaji. Welcome home RS. In flight entertainment for Jet Airways rocked -- The Devil wears Prada (4th time?), Athithi, tum kab aaoge, Karthik calling Karthik :)

♥♥♥

Service providers: Yesterday, the electrician came home because my dad had asked him to come and we realized he didn't have to fix anything, so my mom gave him 20 rupees and 2 mysore paks and sent him away.
"!"
In the US, that would have translated to $120 for just showing up.

♥♥♥

Mornings: Heard the Kokkarako Sevale sing it's good morning song yesterday morning at around 5 (because we hadn't slept yet) and today at 5 (because I woke up already)!

♥♥♥

r~: r~ has a lot less stranger anxiety here which is surprising because she is surrounded by more people (and more strangers) here than back in Lex. And if I spent a couple of months here, she would be a lot more fluent in Tamil (To her credit, she already speaks well in Tamil and I know that's going to change, fast, once I start school for her) than I can hope to make her given a couple of years in America. When we landed in Chicago and the lights were turned on in the aircraft, she said, "All done! Vandudthe! India vandudthe!" :) 

♥♥♥

RS: I have become one of those absurd moms sanitizing her daughter's hands in airports and other public places here. When did that happen?

Eat: I told the samayalkara maami that I wanted a lot more coffee than the one small tumbler she gave me and today she gave me a bigger tumbler of coffee (probably the biggest tumbler we have in the house) and it's still less than half of what I would have in the US.


More to come...someone is up :)

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des-pardes

With the much-awaited India trip sneaking up fast on us, the foremost thought on my head is r2i (no prizes for getting that one right!) I am going to be spending almost a month in India and I want to utilize the time to think about r2i. I guess a month is not a great estimate of what life there will be like when we move there for good. But, it's better than nothing and it's what I've got. So, I plan to use the days focusing on the topic that has featured here most often :)

Aside: Until a few weeks back, I always told myself and I pretty much convinced myself I was here for the money (nice roads, lesser pollution, more breathing space literally but mostly it was for the money). But the more I get exposed to Indian kids, the more I am privy to the good traits they develop as Indian American kids -- the confidence is what is most striking. As a teenager, I had about one tenth of the confidence that teenager here have. Whether it is questioning authority or expressing creativity on stage. The ease with which they blend with people amazes me too. They have this ability to make you feel comfortable and want to interact with them. And that is something I never learned growing up in India. They are also more open minded (which may be a good thing or maybe not since this also decides whom they choose for a life partner, what they choose for a profession and so on) but mostly they are fun to be around. I often see them and wonder if r~ will possess a particularly endearing trait I noticed in one of them and then I tell myself maybe she won't because she will grow up in India and the ping pong in my head goes on for some time. But I am opening my eyes to the positive effects of America on kids whereas until recently I couldn't think of many...essentially I am rocking my steady r2i boat and I have no idea which way it's going to go (a swim in the water seems likely either way ;)

Wondering how best to document my trip (with r2i in mind) this time. I bought a really cute note pad with a beautiful R on the cover just for the purpose of jotting thoughts down where I don't have a laptop handy (I would have bought the notebook anyway -- it's available at BBB and it's amazingly cute :) Maybe I should do a blog post a day for 30 days and judge based on my thoughts and comments (of course) how tricky this r2i journey is going to be. Haven't really figured it out but whatever it is I decide to do, it's going to show up right here!

We will be in 2 cities (Madras and Bombay), so I get to see a little bit of both. I am hoping r~ will not fall sick (as everyone assures me she will). So internet connection permitting, I plan to write and write some more about how India has changed from the image in my head in 5 years! My last trip was in 2005 to get married -- it's been a long long time and I am quite excited about the trip.

I hope the forces cooperate and we have a peaceful trip to India. Meanwhile, if you think you have something to share about r2i, anything I need to keep my eyes open for or even charts/pros-cons and the like, do talk!

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The nose piercing saga.

So, I figured I had learnt so much about nose piercings and the associated bumps by now that it would be a shame not to share the wealth of knowledge I gleaned from google with the world.

Not too far in the recent past, my dance teacher and I went to get our nostrils pierced after exchanging excited text messages that we should get it done; it's now or never!

We reached Bleed Blue, a small store hidden behind a nondescript campus building @ 10.30 PM. After a 45 minute wait, I bravely went ahead after mentally freaking out for said 45 minutes and got my right nostril pierced (much against k's wishes who declared that women look beautiful only if their left nostril is pierced, the north Indian style). My dance teacher went next and I was glad I went first because the needle was huge and it did hurt! I was too excited to listen to the piercer's instructions but I managed to focus and get the gist of it. It wasn't too comfortable for me to get to sleep that night and the next few nights but I was thrilled. I accomplished a daring feat! I got my nose pierced!

I took meticulous care of my nose and used the saline spray three times a day as the lady had instructed. One night, when I was telling r~ to be careful around my nose, k smirked and said, "It's all healed by now. You got it pierced 2 weeks before!" And so, like any devoted wife, I nodded and became a bit more careless about my nose. I used a qtip to clean my nose and in the process moved the jewelry quite a bit and assumed since it was healed, it was more important that I had a clean nose than not to irritate the piercing (Do not make that mistake no matter what your husband says!)

A few days later, I noticed a circular white crust/small bump right behind my piercing like it's twin sister. I was aghast! How could this happen to my beautiful nose. I turned to k with rage. He shrugged and said, "I told you, get your left nose pierced." Grrr. So I contacted the piercer and since she wasn't going to get any more $ from me, she suggested some remedies and said I had to be patient. That it took at least 3 months to heal.

Here are some of the remedies she suggested and I googled, hopefully some of this is helpful to you if you are fighting the bump :)

1. Warm water compress - Warm water in a cup. Soak cotton balls in it and press on your bump. Do it thrice a day, 10-15 mins each time.

2. Tea tree oil - Add a few drops of tea tree oil (available in natural food/whole food stores) to the warm water and do the same as 1. I tried this for 3 weeks. Not much improvement in my case. I also tried applying the oil directly to the bump. It just reddened it, did not help for me (don't try it if you have sensitive skin).

3. Aspirin paste - Crush a few aspirins with a few drops of water and apply on the bump. Leave for 10 mins or so and rinse with water. Do it three times a day. This seemed to sort of work for me. The bump got a bit smaller.

4. Chamomile tea compress - Same as 1. Dip the tea bags in warm water and press on the bump. This was the most promising solution. It really made the bump smaller and seemed to be working until

I started ignoring my nose during a week long vacation and then the bump grew bigger and when we returned, my daughter in a moment of extra energy flailed her arms and bumped the bump (The piercer had told me I could try this with a sterilized needle as a last resort). It bled and bled. I went to the doc, got it cleaned with hydrogen peroxide and now the bump looks much smaller. This however is not recommended unless you have a toddler at home in which case this will happen eventually :p

So, that's it. Wish me luck with my piercing and I wish you the same :)

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