I am sleep-deprived. k is sleep-deprived. Li'l r~ is sleep deprived.
The good news?
Help is on its way! Yay! k's parents get here...anytime now which means while they cuddle, hold, play and smother li'l r~ with kisses, I shall fold my legs, make myself an enormous cup of coffee in the morning (which will begin after 9) and...just sit.
Today, I saw a desi couple walking on the road as k, r~ and I were watching from our mini-van and the first thought that crossed my mind was: Hey! We should be doing that now; the weather is so good. But, of course, the whole reason we were cruising along aimlessly in the van was that poor baby r is going through a pretty rough growth spurt.
Huh? Growth spurt? You ask me. As in baby milestones -- rolling over, sitting up, popping a tooth -- aww, how cute!
And I shall tell you a truth that has been hidden from you for so long. Growth spurts are fun. Especially when you think about them 14 years from now and share the event with your teenage daughter who yawns because she has heard that story so many times before. That's when it is fun. Now, it is just plain frustrating. Frustrating for baby who has to experience sore gums and loose motions and be out of sorts to pop out her first tooth, frustrating to mom because baby is suffering and frustrating for dad because mom and baby are frustrated. Every growth spurt is accompanied by fussing, sleepless nights and cruising in a van. That last bit was precisely what we were doing today evening.
r~ missed her evening nap, got herself overly tired and frustrated, forgot how to sleep in mom's hands, dad's hands, at home! And so we tried the time-tested car-seat sleep trick which every baby expert will tell you is the #1 golden rule of things to avoid while putting baby to sleep.
Heh.
Tell my daughter that.
So, the nice strolling in nice weather with a nice baby stroller was kind of out of question given our current situation. Anyway, in the near future, when we are in between the dreaded growth spurts, I hope to do that. r~ really does love the outside from the little she has seen of it so far. I can't wait to take her for her first stroller ride. I keep hearing stories about strollers ranging from super-sexy mom figure because of daily strolls with baby to super happy baby that sleeps blissfully during stroller walks. Like everything else in babydom, I guess I will have to actually put r~ in the stroller and go for a walk to see if I end up with a great figure or if I have to come rushing back into the house because r~ got upset with a friendly neighbourhood dog that decided to welcome her with a hearty bark!
I really can write a book, several actually with titles like: "You are expecting but you really have no idea what to expect!", "Tips to get through the first six weeks after which you will get used to it", "Baby sleep solution -- there is none", "Remember me? The mom?", "Parenting styles -- the generation gap" :p
Oh! Almost forgot; I actually cooked. There is evidence for the same.
March 10, 2009
Nothing in particular
Love the curtain and the shadow dancing in the breeze todayToday has got to be the most amazing day since well, since the last amazing day there was. The weather is perfect. There is a nice breeze airing out the house. I am home. Lil' r~ is sleeping. k is working. Life is as it should be. Nice.
The day is nice enough to actually make my mind think thoughts in singles and they are gently floating instead of racing past as they usually do. I am reading this tome about the thyroid hormone and it suggests zen stuff like yoga, tai-chi, meditation and the like to calm the thyroid-stressed mind. Hmm...tai-chi -- now, there' s something I never thought I would be trying. Any of you know of good tai chi centers or have any preferences about these zen-style classes? Tell me, tell me. I am all ears and ready to de-stress. Apparently, stress is the cause of all diseases in this universe. Now they tell me, when I am thirty years old! So, I infer that some life-style changes are in order. Everything originates in this boggling, indecipherable, capricious mind of ours and so I believe I should give it a full spa-style treatment to see if I can get it to behave and hence all the aah-smell-the-flowers kind of talk.
By the way, are you many of you out there or just one that visits my blog but doesn't leave a comment? I am always thrilled by all(one?) of you. I think people are being nice to me most of the time. They say things like, "Oh! I read your blog all the time. I just haven't left a comment." I wonder why. I think it's because I write about nothing in particular most of the time. In any case, this little note is for all those people or you. Thanks for passing by and nodding a silent hi.
Coming back to my zen life, I can finally say I had this cool postnatal massage. It wasn't am-aaa-zing as some women would coo. It was good. My muscles got a work out and the delicate masseuse (who happens to be the same age as me) and I had a pretty interesting chat including all the hippie topics that am passionate about - vaccines, elimination communication, going back for good and related baby talk. k was like, "Jeez! I sent you there to relax, not chit chat some more!" Whatever. I would highly recommend the massage at baby moon, including the conversation!
Meanwhile, here is a silly ditty inspired by li'l r~
We rock, we walk, we talk
And yet you balk,
at the prospect of going to sleep;
For now, the secret to your sleep
is all yours to keep!
We try in vain,
for insights to gain
about babies and sleep;
Meanwhile,
you cry, you sigh,
you resist, you protest,
you play, but to sleep, you say, "Nay!";
And we rock, we walk, we talk...
Perhaps, one sweet day,
you will snore away
and dream sweet baby-dreams,
while maybe, just maybe,
mom sleeps like a baby!
March 02, 2009
Plagiarism.
So, a little bird told me that my writing here is being copied elsewhere. My my! How flattering! I am sooo touched, I tell you.
Here is the copied version: http://svraman24.wordpress.com/page/4/
And here is my original post: Karadayan Nombu
Of course, if the plagiarist (is that a word?) is smart enough, (s)he? would have removed the post by now.
Oh! Wait a minute...here's one more of my posts:
http://svraman24.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/heaven-hell-love-hate-in-a-relationship/
Here's another:
http://svraman24.wordpress.com/2008/05/22/becoming-jane/
And another:
http://svraman24.wordpress.com/2008/04/03/a-good-fight/
This one boils my blood a lil' bit because it is one of my short stories:
http://svraman24.wordpress.com/2008/03/05/the-prophecy/
This is one of the reasons I have removed most of my short stories from my other blog...
Anyhoo, just thought it was (so not) amusing!
Wonder how you report a word press blog...thoughts?
Here is the copied version: http://svraman24.wordpress.
And here is my original post: Karadayan Nombu
Of course, if the plagiarist (is that a word?) is smart enough, (s)he? would have removed the post by now.
Oh! Wait a minute...here's one more of my posts:
http://svraman24.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/heaven-hell-love-hate-in-a-relationship/
Here's another:
http://svraman24.wordpress.com/2008/05/22/becoming-jane/
And another:
http://svraman24.wordpress.com/2008/04/03/a-good-fight/
This one boils my blood a lil' bit because it is one of my short stories:
http://svraman24.wordpress.com/2008/03/05/the-prophecy/
This is one of the reasons I have removed most of my short stories from my other blog...
Anyhoo, just thought it was (so not) amusing!
Wonder how you report a word press blog...thoughts?
February 22, 2009
People, people, people
I had this sudden fear that my ever-dwindling social circle is going to become non-existent unless I do something proactive about it. So, met a bunch of new people this weekend. New topics of conversation are always fun! Plus as k puts it, am constantly "in awe" of newness in general. A few years back, I met this lady who was working with nano-technology and I found her work fascinating, especially the bits that she said were sort of confidential! Some months back, I had this long conversation with a doctor friend of mine about...life and death. I just listened and wondered about how amazing her job is - life, is in her hands! Yesterday, I had a blast with another doctor friend of mine and she is usually so mean to me (all intentional, of course) and so goofy, I become goofy too! And after ages, I talked a lot of nonsense with her, while the men in the room shook their heads as if to say, "We give up", and cracked up!
I guess, I like being in awe of people. The fact that I am in awe makes them that much more interesting. Like all things amazing, the intensity of how interesting I find people goes down as I get to know them more. That, I think is just human nature. Doing the same grind gets to you no matter how interested you are in it at first. My brother and I used to wonder how great it would be if we had to just read comic books at school and then we thought some more and concluded that, that would become a chore too. The fun is only that the contact is not continuous and pre-determined, it's on the spur of the moment, exciting and unpredictable. Sort of like relationships we form with new people.
And for that, I am thankful to my daughter who is as new as anyone can be and who has taught me that there is more to life than to-do-lists, plans and materials. Every day is new, unpredictable and fulfiling with her. I keep wondering what I ever did with all the free time I had before her. But that part of my life is a blur now...
I am sure there is something to be said about everything old too. Like an old married couple or an old house with a thinnai or old friends. But, this post is not about them. This is a celebration of newness and the hope that turning 30 continues to bring new and enriching experiences along the way.
In fact, I wanted turning 30 to be so new that I asked k not to arrange a party for me. And then I thought hmm...turning 30 is something so eventful, I should spend it in the company of friends, plus little r~ would have a blast with n number of humans in one place (she loves people) and it so happened none of them could make it (save one), "remnants" of too many social gatherings, as one of my friends put it, prevented them from dropping by. Oh well, that is something new too. Not wanting any sort of party, getting a surprise birthday party 2 days before my birthday (which was fun, what does a date matter anyway? 21st, 23rd...potAtoes...poTAHtoes, right? no?), wanting to meet people all of a sudden, finally, spending some nice quiet(hah!) time with k, lil' r~, sole friend and Oscars...ah...life, I tell you, is quite new and unpredictable for me.
I am back to dancing now, which gives me a chance to meet a wonderful class full of "young" girls and giggle with them. Almost makes me feel like I am a teenager. One can always imagine...
My dear lil' r, I tell you, your mom is crazy!
I guess, I like being in awe of people. The fact that I am in awe makes them that much more interesting. Like all things amazing, the intensity of how interesting I find people goes down as I get to know them more. That, I think is just human nature. Doing the same grind gets to you no matter how interested you are in it at first. My brother and I used to wonder how great it would be if we had to just read comic books at school and then we thought some more and concluded that, that would become a chore too. The fun is only that the contact is not continuous and pre-determined, it's on the spur of the moment, exciting and unpredictable. Sort of like relationships we form with new people.
And for that, I am thankful to my daughter who is as new as anyone can be and who has taught me that there is more to life than to-do-lists, plans and materials. Every day is new, unpredictable and fulfiling with her. I keep wondering what I ever did with all the free time I had before her. But that part of my life is a blur now...
I am sure there is something to be said about everything old too. Like an old married couple or an old house with a thinnai or old friends. But, this post is not about them. This is a celebration of newness and the hope that turning 30 continues to bring new and enriching experiences along the way.
In fact, I wanted turning 30 to be so new that I asked k not to arrange a party for me. And then I thought hmm...turning 30 is something so eventful, I should spend it in the company of friends, plus little r~ would have a blast with n number of humans in one place (she loves people) and it so happened none of them could make it (save one), "remnants" of too many social gatherings, as one of my friends put it, prevented them from dropping by. Oh well, that is something new too. Not wanting any sort of party, getting a surprise birthday party 2 days before my birthday (which was fun, what does a date matter anyway? 21st, 23rd...potAtoes...poTAHtoes, right? no?), wanting to meet people all of a sudden, finally, spending some nice quiet(hah!) time with k, lil' r~, sole friend and Oscars...ah...life, I tell you, is quite new and unpredictable for me.
I am back to dancing now, which gives me a chance to meet a wonderful class full of "young" girls and giggle with them. Almost makes me feel like I am a teenager. One can always imagine...
My dear lil' r, I tell you, your mom is crazy!
February 16, 2009
Valentines Day
After many years, for a change, there was no pressure on me for Valentines day. I did not have to show to the world that I did something cool on Valentines day. You know what I mean? Sitting at home on V-day = umm...is the romance dwindling already kind of thing. So k and I always used to book a nice booth in a restaurant, wait faithfully for the 45 minutes or 3 hours time it took to push our way inside and then we would watch a chick-flick (Yes, those are the only kinds I enjoy), eat ice-cream and call it a day, satisfied that the fire of romance was still very much ablaze in our lives.
A couple of years back, I remember sitting huddled at a small table with k at an Indian restaurant. Now, "huddled" would probably have you painting images of a cozy restaurant booth, dim lighting, sweet whispers that floated about in the air as we stared into each others eyes...hah! It was more like a rickety wooden table in the middle of the restaurant with two equally aging chairs, waiters and customers shouting above the din in the restaurant and me trying to sit as comfortably as I could without jutting my elbow into the guy sitting about three quarters of an inch away from me! Yup, we did meaningfully stare into each other's eyes, k and I, "Made it! One more year. A meaningful V-day! Do we really have to do this next year?"
And then little r~ arrived and now we got to spend blissful little moments with her staying home on V-day! No guilt. We were however too lazy to cook and ordered to-go from a restaurant nearby and ended up waiting 45 minutes for our order.
Oh and k was so excited about the card that he got me, he forgot to fill it up. He came racing into the house waving the last-minute-bought colorful little card saying, "Happy Valentines Day!" and I gleefully opened the card, read it and then thought it was missing some things, like "Dear RS, Love k..." you know? The basics!
I start work in a month's time which means I can finally be a part of the super cool moms who can say things like, "Oh! I juggle baby and career...yes, I know...it's tough, I manage somehow." Woohoo!
Also, let's not forget, I turn ...shh...silence.... THIRTY in a few days! And so, I plan to get drunk and pass out on my birthday. Just like Monica. Whee! What fun!
Oh wait.
I don't drink. Oh well. I guess I will just turn thirty quietly mulling about my many achievements and glories.
Wait a minute.
There aren't that many. In fact I can't think of any except little r~.
Hmm...
Huh...
Yup, thought of one more.
This blog!
Love you blog and love you readers.
RS exits waving happy kisses at one and all, peacefully ready to step into the big three-O.
A couple of years back, I remember sitting huddled at a small table with k at an Indian restaurant. Now, "huddled" would probably have you painting images of a cozy restaurant booth, dim lighting, sweet whispers that floated about in the air as we stared into each others eyes...hah! It was more like a rickety wooden table in the middle of the restaurant with two equally aging chairs, waiters and customers shouting above the din in the restaurant and me trying to sit as comfortably as I could without jutting my elbow into the guy sitting about three quarters of an inch away from me! Yup, we did meaningfully stare into each other's eyes, k and I, "Made it! One more year. A meaningful V-day! Do we really have to do this next year?"
And then little r~ arrived and now we got to spend blissful little moments with her staying home on V-day! No guilt. We were however too lazy to cook and ordered to-go from a restaurant nearby and ended up waiting 45 minutes for our order.
Oh and k was so excited about the card that he got me, he forgot to fill it up. He came racing into the house waving the last-minute-bought colorful little card saying, "Happy Valentines Day!" and I gleefully opened the card, read it and then thought it was missing some things, like "Dear RS, Love k..." you know? The basics!
I start work in a month's time which means I can finally be a part of the super cool moms who can say things like, "Oh! I juggle baby and career...yes, I know...it's tough, I manage somehow." Woohoo!
Also, let's not forget, I turn ...shh...silence.... THIRTY in a few days! And so, I plan to get drunk and pass out on my birthday. Just like Monica. Whee! What fun!
Oh wait.
I don't drink. Oh well. I guess I will just turn thirty quietly mulling about my many achievements and glories.
Wait a minute.
There aren't that many. In fact I can't think of any except little r~.
Hmm...
Huh...
Yup, thought of one more.
This blog!
Love you blog and love you readers.
RS exits waving happy kisses at one and all, peacefully ready to step into the big three-O.
February 06, 2009
2007 Dec - 2009 Feb
I haven't written anything substantial here or on pen and paper for a long time. I shamelessly blame it on the baby :)
For now, I want to write because I feel homesick and hopefully writing would help alleviate some of it. k's sis, p~ left today to India for good and that makes me homesick for 2 reasons - that she left and that she left to India for good, something that I have started thinking about the past few months.
I remember when p~ came to the US in Dec of 2007. She was so homesick, she cried most of the time she spent with us. k and I spent a week or so in Kansas and while we had a blast, she was not her usual enthusiastic self. I remember an incident at Buca-di-beppo at Kansas city. The waiter there entertained us with some jokes. I laughed and turned to look at p~, who was on the phone with people back home, crying! That image stuck in my mind.
And now, p~ has made so many friends at KU that she cried once again, this time because she was leaving her new friends in the US behind. And much to k's amusement, they are all Tam friends! She has seen more recent Tam movies than I have!
Seeing her leave made me realize that 2 years flew by in a jiffy. She is a different person for her experience; And me? I am not sure if I have changed much. I am still in Lex doing pretty much the same things I did back then. But for my chakarakatti and 15 extra pounds, I am pretty much the same. I felt bad that she had to leave her friends behind and go back to India but I also envied her that. That she had managed to make so many friends in so short a time - she has this air about her that makes you want to confide everything to her, and then wait for her response. Unselfish and un-selfcentered - not many people I know are like that.
I wonder if I would be able to leave everything behind and start a new life in India. What would I miss most about Lex? Hard to say now. k says we are some how bound to UK. I met him at the university, we settled down near it and by a strange twist of events, I even had my baby at UK, something that was not planned at all. Maybe he is right, maybe this is our destiny and we will remain bound to this place for life.
Who knows what the future can bring...
For now, I want to write because I feel homesick and hopefully writing would help alleviate some of it. k's sis, p~ left today to India for good and that makes me homesick for 2 reasons - that she left and that she left to India for good, something that I have started thinking about the past few months.
I remember when p~ came to the US in Dec of 2007. She was so homesick, she cried most of the time she spent with us. k and I spent a week or so in Kansas and while we had a blast, she was not her usual enthusiastic self. I remember an incident at Buca-di-beppo at Kansas city. The waiter there entertained us with some jokes. I laughed and turned to look at p~, who was on the phone with people back home, crying! That image stuck in my mind.
And now, p~ has made so many friends at KU that she cried once again, this time because she was leaving her new friends in the US behind. And much to k's amusement, they are all Tam friends! She has seen more recent Tam movies than I have!
Seeing her leave made me realize that 2 years flew by in a jiffy. She is a different person for her experience; And me? I am not sure if I have changed much. I am still in Lex doing pretty much the same things I did back then. But for my chakarakatti and 15 extra pounds, I am pretty much the same. I felt bad that she had to leave her friends behind and go back to India but I also envied her that. That she had managed to make so many friends in so short a time - she has this air about her that makes you want to confide everything to her, and then wait for her response. Unselfish and un-selfcentered - not many people I know are like that.
I wonder if I would be able to leave everything behind and start a new life in India. What would I miss most about Lex? Hard to say now. k says we are some how bound to UK. I met him at the university, we settled down near it and by a strange twist of events, I even had my baby at UK, something that was not planned at all. Maybe he is right, maybe this is our destiny and we will remain bound to this place for life.
Who knows what the future can bring...
February 02, 2009
Our first power-cut!
Power-cut during ice storm. Electric heating. Baby in the house.
And so we drove in the middle of the ice-storm to B&P's place. And believe it or not, I took pictures on the way :p
And so we drove in the middle of the ice-storm to B&P's place. And believe it or not, I took pictures on the way :p
January 26, 2009
Happy Republic Day!
Thought this would be an appropriate post today:
http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/india/papers/Return_to_India.pdf
http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/india/papers/Return_to_India.pdf
January 21, 2009
Scary stuff.
Life is one whirlwind, roller-coaster ride with a baby. Being a first-time mom seems to be even more challenging. You hardly have time to breathe a sigh of relief that the nine long months have come to a happy end, you have several other worries to deal with now, not just, "I hope the baby is safe inside", now it's a potpourri of issues about baby's health, behavior, growth, milestones, your own recovery, nursing, sleep-deprivation and a totally out-of-wac endocrine system!
Gak! I bet a few of you read this post today and decided to maybe wait some more time, say a year or two, before you have kids!
Anyway, baby~r gave me a scare today by deciding to not breathe for a few seconds while crying. That was scary! Scarier than the time when I almost drowned in the local gym pool. The latter had a kind of finality about it, I thought, "Ok, here we go. I guess I am drowing, when does the life-flashing business start? blubb blubb blubb".
The dear husband had cautioned me against swimming past the blue flags and so that's what I did.
I swam till the blue flags and abruptly stopped.
I went down.
And further down.
Only my feet did not touch ground when I thought they would and so I went almost a feet below the water surface and kept bobbing up and down like in a really weird comic routine.
The other time I was really scared was the time I lost my identity after graduating from Bits, Pilani. With a somewhat decent 8.75 GPA, related grade sheets, 10th and 12th report cards, passpost, birthcertificate and cash, I boarded a bus from Pilani to Delhi with a bunch of my friends. Now, I have never been any good at packing suitcases. And since I had everything that defined my four college years in Bits to pack, I did what I could and ended up with thirteen pieces of luggage! One of them was a regal looking suitcase with all the important documents that defined...me. When we got off the bus, I very carefully collected my paraphernalia and got down and started counting them. I counted twelve, recounted and wondered what I was missing. Of course, the suitcase. I looked up and suddenly the bus was gone. With my precious suitcase.
Then, I went a bit crazy. I tried to run behind the bus in traffic and one of my friends stopped me and made me sit down. A couple of my friends even rented an auto to chase the bus but came back because that particular bus was lost in a sea of similar looking buses.
I cried and then cried some more, didn't eat for a day. I called my dad from a pay phone and told him the whole story. When I boarded the Delhi-Chennai TN express, I was still crying and hadn't eaten for more than a day.
And then the magic happened. The train stopped at Baroda maybe? for a few minutes and a stranger boarded my compartment and handed a box of sweets to me. He was my dad's materials-supplier and the best part, he held my suitcase in his hand. My dad had managed to track down the bus in Pilani and to get someone to collect the suitcase and hand it over to his colleague. I was thrilled! He then called my dad on his cell and handed the phone to me. I was too deliriously happy to say anything that made sense at that time. He got off the train just before the bell rang for the train to leave the station.
And then my friends gave me ice cream. Yeah, I know, just like in those movies where things mysteriously appear. I think one of them bought an ice cream for me because I hadn't eaten for a day. That was the yummiest ice cream I have had till now!
Ok enough of scary experiences. I don't want nightmares! Goodnight people!
Gak! I bet a few of you read this post today and decided to maybe wait some more time, say a year or two, before you have kids!
Anyway, baby~r gave me a scare today by deciding to not breathe for a few seconds while crying. That was scary! Scarier than the time when I almost drowned in the local gym pool. The latter had a kind of finality about it, I thought, "Ok, here we go. I guess I am drowing, when does the life-flashing business start? blubb blubb blubb".
The dear husband had cautioned me against swimming past the blue flags and so that's what I did.
I swam till the blue flags and abruptly stopped.
I went down.
And further down.
Only my feet did not touch ground when I thought they would and so I went almost a feet below the water surface and kept bobbing up and down like in a really weird comic routine.
The other time I was really scared was the time I lost my identity after graduating from Bits, Pilani. With a somewhat decent 8.75 GPA, related grade sheets, 10th and 12th report cards, passpost, birthcertificate and cash, I boarded a bus from Pilani to Delhi with a bunch of my friends. Now, I have never been any good at packing suitcases. And since I had everything that defined my four college years in Bits to pack, I did what I could and ended up with thirteen pieces of luggage! One of them was a regal looking suitcase with all the important documents that defined...me. When we got off the bus, I very carefully collected my paraphernalia and got down and started counting them. I counted twelve, recounted and wondered what I was missing. Of course, the suitcase. I looked up and suddenly the bus was gone. With my precious suitcase.
Then, I went a bit crazy. I tried to run behind the bus in traffic and one of my friends stopped me and made me sit down. A couple of my friends even rented an auto to chase the bus but came back because that particular bus was lost in a sea of similar looking buses.
I cried and then cried some more, didn't eat for a day. I called my dad from a pay phone and told him the whole story. When I boarded the Delhi-Chennai TN express, I was still crying and hadn't eaten for more than a day.
And then the magic happened. The train stopped at Baroda maybe? for a few minutes and a stranger boarded my compartment and handed a box of sweets to me. He was my dad's materials-supplier and the best part, he held my suitcase in his hand. My dad had managed to track down the bus in Pilani and to get someone to collect the suitcase and hand it over to his colleague. I was thrilled! He then called my dad on his cell and handed the phone to me. I was too deliriously happy to say anything that made sense at that time. He got off the train just before the bell rang for the train to leave the station.
And then my friends gave me ice cream. Yeah, I know, just like in those movies where things mysteriously appear. I think one of them bought an ice cream for me because I hadn't eaten for a day. That was the yummiest ice cream I have had till now!
Ok enough of scary experiences. I don't want nightmares! Goodnight people!
January 10, 2009
January 06, 2009
What's the deal with baby dresses?
I don't get it. Sometimes a onesie meant for a 3 month old is right for the baby and sometimes a nightdress meant for a 9 month old is tight! Mom says she always bought dresses which were double my size when I was a kid. So, I was always running around half-tripping on my own dresses!
These onesies below are both for a 12 month old baby; obviously the companies had very different ideas about how big a 12 month old baby should be!
These onesies below are both for a 12 month old baby; obviously the companies had very different ideas about how big a 12 month old baby should be!
January 01, 2009
2009.
Carry over resolutions from previous year:
1. Write a book
2. Bury an old hurt
3. Participate in a movie marathon
4. Pretend to be relaxed mom - get a massage (This one is really a new resolution)
5. Say "I am sorry" without a "but" at least once this year
6. Catch up on dancing
7. Call an old friend (This one is especially hard, much easier to email)
8. Get teeth checked (Well, I need at least one resolution that I can actually fulfill)
9. Catch up with a close relative (Yeah, I know, such is our times)
10. Do nothing
Now that I have completed spending 5 minutes in the new year making resolutions that I will not remember even a day from now, let me get on with other things that I will actually do this year :p
Wish you a cheerful and fun-filled new year!
1. Write a book
2. Bury an old hurt
3. Participate in a movie marathon
4. Pretend to be relaxed mom - get a massage (This one is really a new resolution)
5. Say "I am sorry" without a "but" at least once this year
6. Catch up on dancing
7. Call an old friend (This one is especially hard, much easier to email)
8. Get teeth checked (Well, I need at least one resolution that I can actually fulfill)
9. Catch up with a close relative (Yeah, I know, such is our times)
10. Do nothing
Now that I have completed spending 5 minutes in the new year making resolutions that I will not remember even a day from now, let me get on with other things that I will actually do this year :p
Wish you a cheerful and fun-filled new year!
December 28, 2008
Nayagan and everything Tam.
We watched Nayagan today on K TV. This time, I managed not to cry at all. The last time I saw the movie was about 7 years back. k and I were good friends back then and I managed to convince k and his roommate, Swami to watch Nayagan with me. Although Swami's mother-tongue was Tamil, he was a typical Bombayite like k - meaning, he began all his sentences with, "Abe saale...". So, anyway, we started watching it and all of us became quite involved with the movie (Of course, such is the nature of Nayagan).
There was this really touching scene in the movie where Kamal Hassan asks to see his grandson for the first time and his daughter refuses and Kamal Hassan tries to deal with the denial, hide his tears while hoping his daughter would change her mind and he would catch a glimpse of his grandson. I watched this scene and started crying silently. k and Swami were caught up in the scene and one of them turned to share something about the scene with me. Once they realized I was crying, the intense emotional scene was soon forgotten and I became the target of their attention. Not that they were nice and they consoled me or anything. They mainly made fun of me. And that was when I realized I would never ever watch this movie again with people who do not get as seriously involved in it as I do.
And today, I forgot all about that resolution and watched the movie with k. After the very same scene, he suddenly looked at me and said, "Wait! Isn't this the same scene for which you started crying that day? Ha haaaa!"
And the moment was lost all over again.
I swear, I will not watch Nayagan a third time with k. And if I ever do, it will only be because I know he is going to cry seeing the same scene again!
Anyway, he agreed that it was indeed a good movie and that mollified me a bit. This whole discussion reminds me of another incident.
Many years back, when k was still a novice at everything Tamil, I used to tell him that I could not marry him unless he was familiar with "Mouna Ragam". I was very excited when k sat down to watch the movie and I made sure he caught all the nuances in the movie. And since then, whenever the topic of Tamil movies comes up, k goes, "Whaaa? You haven't seen Mouna Ragam, how dare you exist?" and so on. Serves me right for wanting to share Mouna Ragam with him :p
The other association that he makes with Tamil folks is "Thayir sadam". He makes this ridiculous gesture of slurping gooey rice from his hands all the way to his elbow as if to say we eat thayir sadam like that! Jeez! How can someone not like thayir sadam? Beats me! A year back, we had gone to Atlanta to visit my maama. k, my cousin and I were shopping and we decided to take a to-go for dinner. We were at this amazing desi store called "Shayona" and k got really excited seeing home made kachori, samosas, chola etc in the store. So, he picked up a bunch of "tiffin" items and looked at my cousin and said, "Cool! Let's have this for dinner!" She gave him a weird look and said, "Saadam?" The concept of wrapping up a nice dinner with thayir sadam is lost time and again on poor k. But after the Atlanta incident, he remembers that "Tams" don't do dinner without their beloved thachi mammam :p
There was this really touching scene in the movie where Kamal Hassan asks to see his grandson for the first time and his daughter refuses and Kamal Hassan tries to deal with the denial, hide his tears while hoping his daughter would change her mind and he would catch a glimpse of his grandson. I watched this scene and started crying silently. k and Swami were caught up in the scene and one of them turned to share something about the scene with me. Once they realized I was crying, the intense emotional scene was soon forgotten and I became the target of their attention. Not that they were nice and they consoled me or anything. They mainly made fun of me. And that was when I realized I would never ever watch this movie again with people who do not get as seriously involved in it as I do.
And today, I forgot all about that resolution and watched the movie with k. After the very same scene, he suddenly looked at me and said, "Wait! Isn't this the same scene for which you started crying that day? Ha haaaa!"
And the moment was lost all over again.
I swear, I will not watch Nayagan a third time with k. And if I ever do, it will only be because I know he is going to cry seeing the same scene again!
Anyway, he agreed that it was indeed a good movie and that mollified me a bit. This whole discussion reminds me of another incident.
Many years back, when k was still a novice at everything Tamil, I used to tell him that I could not marry him unless he was familiar with "Mouna Ragam". I was very excited when k sat down to watch the movie and I made sure he caught all the nuances in the movie. And since then, whenever the topic of Tamil movies comes up, k goes, "Whaaa? You haven't seen Mouna Ragam, how dare you exist?" and so on. Serves me right for wanting to share Mouna Ragam with him :p
The other association that he makes with Tamil folks is "Thayir sadam". He makes this ridiculous gesture of slurping gooey rice from his hands all the way to his elbow as if to say we eat thayir sadam like that! Jeez! How can someone not like thayir sadam? Beats me! A year back, we had gone to Atlanta to visit my maama. k, my cousin and I were shopping and we decided to take a to-go for dinner. We were at this amazing desi store called "Shayona" and k got really excited seeing home made kachori, samosas, chola etc in the store. So, he picked up a bunch of "tiffin" items and looked at my cousin and said, "Cool! Let's have this for dinner!" She gave him a weird look and said, "Saadam?" The concept of wrapping up a nice dinner with thayir sadam is lost time and again on poor k. But after the Atlanta incident, he remembers that "Tams" don't do dinner without their beloved thachi mammam :p
December 25, 2008
Murphy baby,
Edited: Thanks to Rushu's comment, finally found the picture:
Edited: Thanks to Shanmugapriya, here is a nice picture of Murphy baby!
Below is a tiny photo on the left of the radio:
Photo courtesy: Santhosh
Do any of you remember the phrase, "Murphy baby"? I vaguely remember seeing a black and white photo of this really cute, chubby kid on advertisements. My memory is probably served more by my mom's descriptions of the baby rather than faded images that I saw in my childhood. My mom said the baby was the advertising mascot for Indian radio.
So, do any one of you happen to remember how the baby looked? I looked on google and couldn't find one and for some reason I feel like looking at a picture of this baby.
 |
| Murphy baby (Source: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=364681406908569&set=a.323079557735421.80608.100001001383459&type=3&theater) |
Edited: Thanks to Shanmugapriya, here is a nice picture of Murphy baby!
Below is a tiny photo on the left of the radio:
Photo courtesy: Santhosh
Do any of you remember the phrase, "Murphy baby"? I vaguely remember seeing a black and white photo of this really cute, chubby kid on advertisements. My memory is probably served more by my mom's descriptions of the baby rather than faded images that I saw in my childhood. My mom said the baby was the advertising mascot for Indian radio.
So, do any one of you happen to remember how the baby looked? I looked on google and couldn't find one and for some reason I feel like looking at a picture of this baby.
December 24, 2008
Men don't ask for directions.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to fix the garage shutter."
"Look up yellow pages."
k rummages through pages and pages of old manuals to find our garage manual, "No, I think I can fix it. Give me a few minutes."
A few hours later, I find k sitting on top of our car squinting at the motor hanging from the ceiling of our garage.
"Are you coming to dinner?"
"Give me a few, I am trying to figure this out..."
An hour later k eats dinner in silence poring over the hefty manual.
I give him a gentle reminder, "You know you can have someone fix this for you, it's not worth your time."
"I can get the part for it. I think I know what the problem is. If I get the guy to fix it, he's going to charge $170 unnecessarily."
It's midnight and I still hearing sounds of metal clanging in the garage. I resist the urge to advise and wait. k comes up in a few minutes with something in his hand that looks like a jagged wheel made out of paper balanced on a pointy steel stick.
"You see the problem?", he says pointing to the wheel, "This, here has worn out. So I just need to get a replacement for it."
Next day, k finishes his coffee in a record time of 5 minutes and rushes to the store to get the part. He returns in a couple of hours waving the parts victoriously (Amma, naan paas agiten style).
"I should be done in half an hour."
Half an hour later, I find k in the now familiar on-top-of-car position again, squinting at the wheel in the motor.
I give up and walk back in.
3 hours later, k comes in looking somewhat exhausted and defeated, his hands black from whatever it is that motor ejected on him.
"Want to call the guy?"
"If my test run fails, yes, am planning to..."
Men are like that. They will not ask for help if their life depends on it.
Five minutes later, k walks in looking somewhat more exhausted.
"Want to call the guy?"
"Let me wash my hands first and then clean up and then..."
And so on. Postpone the asking-for-help bit as much as possible.
Finally, surprise! k calls the guy after a record 8 hours of working on the garage.
"He said 70 bucks. If I had known earlier, I would have probably called him yesterday."
Yeah. I bet you would have called him.
"Trying to fix the garage shutter."
"Look up yellow pages."
k rummages through pages and pages of old manuals to find our garage manual, "No, I think I can fix it. Give me a few minutes."
A few hours later, I find k sitting on top of our car squinting at the motor hanging from the ceiling of our garage.
"Are you coming to dinner?"
"Give me a few, I am trying to figure this out..."
An hour later k eats dinner in silence poring over the hefty manual.
I give him a gentle reminder, "You know you can have someone fix this for you, it's not worth your time."
"I can get the part for it. I think I know what the problem is. If I get the guy to fix it, he's going to charge $170 unnecessarily."
It's midnight and I still hearing sounds of metal clanging in the garage. I resist the urge to advise and wait. k comes up in a few minutes with something in his hand that looks like a jagged wheel made out of paper balanced on a pointy steel stick.
"You see the problem?", he says pointing to the wheel, "This, here has worn out. So I just need to get a replacement for it."
Next day, k finishes his coffee in a record time of 5 minutes and rushes to the store to get the part. He returns in a couple of hours waving the parts victoriously (Amma, naan paas agiten style).
"I should be done in half an hour."
Half an hour later, I find k in the now familiar on-top-of-car position again, squinting at the wheel in the motor.
I give up and walk back in.
3 hours later, k comes in looking somewhat exhausted and defeated, his hands black from whatever it is that motor ejected on him.
"Want to call the guy?"
"If my test run fails, yes, am planning to..."
Men are like that. They will not ask for help if their life depends on it.
Five minutes later, k walks in looking somewhat more exhausted.
"Want to call the guy?"
"Let me wash my hands first and then clean up and then..."
And so on. Postpone the asking-for-help bit as much as possible.
Finally, surprise! k calls the guy after a record 8 hours of working on the garage.
"He said 70 bucks. If I had known earlier, I would have probably called him yesterday."
Yeah. I bet you would have called him.
December 18, 2008
Twinkle twinkle little star...
So baby r~ decided she didn't want to nap like babies are supposed to, she decided to stay awake all afternoon today and I was running out of ideas to entertain her. k decided that nursery rhymes would do the trick and lull her to sleep. So he did what every dad would do - he looked on google :p and he came across this rendition of "Twinkle twinkle little star". I had a feeling k enjoyed it more than r!
December 15, 2008
Being a parent.
If you are one of those people that wondered what it feels like to be newbie parents and what the big deal is about, you are reading the right stuff now :p Or, if you are just being nice to me and reading my post just for the heck of it, that's cool too :)
Remember how we used to consider couples with kids a whole different set of people? People with hefty bags filled with diapers and related paraphernalia, people that were concerned more about their baby's spit-ups rather than their appearance, people that could not talk about anything other than their baby, people with a somewhat needy little one clawing for their attention constantly? We were not them. We even found it hard to imagine how life would be when we became them. Some of us even wondered what "unconditional love" meant. We heard words like sleepless, poop, diapers, doctors and wondered how we would ever inhabit a world filled with those words...
And guess what? Suddenly we are very much in that world. We are now parents that, no matter how interesting a conversation with someone is, always have one eye tracking our baby, we hardly give a second thought to what "poop" used to mean in our older worlds, focusing rather on its texture, smell and contents to smile or frown with concern, we talk less about "I" and more about the baby, we learn that absolute happiness has to do with a lot more than just some "me-time" and we worry. We worry all the time about the little life that we created and hope that it smiles back at us with that adorable, charming, heart-melting, lopsided grin today, tomorrow and forever...
We are now the parents.
Remember how we used to consider couples with kids a whole different set of people? People with hefty bags filled with diapers and related paraphernalia, people that were concerned more about their baby's spit-ups rather than their appearance, people that could not talk about anything other than their baby, people with a somewhat needy little one clawing for their attention constantly? We were not them. We even found it hard to imagine how life would be when we became them. Some of us even wondered what "unconditional love" meant. We heard words like sleepless, poop, diapers, doctors and wondered how we would ever inhabit a world filled with those words...
And guess what? Suddenly we are very much in that world. We are now parents that, no matter how interesting a conversation with someone is, always have one eye tracking our baby, we hardly give a second thought to what "poop" used to mean in our older worlds, focusing rather on its texture, smell and contents to smile or frown with concern, we talk less about "I" and more about the baby, we learn that absolute happiness has to do with a lot more than just some "me-time" and we worry. We worry all the time about the little life that we created and hope that it smiles back at us with that adorable, charming, heart-melting, lopsided grin today, tomorrow and forever...
We are now the parents.
November 25, 2008
Baby and everything else.
Everything is a blur. Everything is crystal clear. Moments of insanity interspersed with moments of bliss. Chaos and stillness coexist.
Babies can do this to you and much more.
And in between all this, I managed to notice a silvery glow in the sun. A strand of white in an unruly mass of black. And it happened much before I hit my mid-life crisis. And the unlikely discovery took place in the middle of a conversation between k's mom and me. I was describing r's antics to her absently twirling a bit of hair in my index finger (an annoying habit I picked up from a girl at Bits) and the glint distracted me. I stopped speaking for a while and held the strand of white hair in my hand and gasped.
"Mummy, mera baal saphed ho gaya he"
k's mom, being the nice woman she is, gasped along with me, heard the anguish in my voice and commiserated with me. A few moments of silence and she cautions that I should not remove it else two would sprout in it's place. Yeeesh.
Later I reasoned. One white hair after one baby. Not a bad deal after all.
r does the funniest things.
Wait a minute...I am not going to be one of those moms that constantly talk about their kids.
Hmm, on second thoughts, I don't mind being that mom :)
So, the other day r woke up from deep sleep and she had the weirdest expression on her face, like she had forgotten that she was born! She looked to her left and then to her right and stared at me with the biggest eyes possible, as if to ask, "Wrong exit?"
The funny thing about marriages like ours (N.Indian weds S.Indian) is...actually there are a lot of funny things, conflicts if you will like:
coffee vs tea
rice vs roti
veshti vs what-do-they-call-it-pyjamas?
and now a brand new addition to the repertoire - thooli vs ghodiyu
So, we, meaning k & I, have this thing called a ghodiyu which swings neatly and r has been kind enough to start sleeping in it now. We, meaning S.Indians, use something called a thooli to rock kids to sleep. It's a hammock that's hung from the ceiling rather than from a stand and it's more closed (to resemble the womb). My mom is convinced that a thooli is the ideal sleep solution for r. k meanwhile is thrilled that we try to put r to sleep in a contraption similar to what he refused to sleep on as a baby :p
r meanwhile assumes it's play time whenever we put her in the ghodiyu. She gives this really flirty grin to the decorative stick above her that holds the ghodiyu together and starts playing.
Personally, I doubt she will sleep well in a thooli either. Babies just aren't designed to sleep like adults unless of course it's an $$amby baby$$ :p
k claims he can no longer be the "good husband". Apparently the warranty ran out six weeks postpartum.
"Let's see 9 months of pregnancy plus 6 weeks after birth. Yup, now I can stop being so nice..."
"So now you go back to being you again?"
"Basically yes."
"You are a !@#$$$%"
"Not in front of the baby!"
I have never considered myself "girly" nor did people give me that impression until sometime ago. Anyway, I rediscovered a girly part of myself with a quick stitch kit. You know how you always see this picture of a happy, heavily pregnant mom knitting her way to glory? Well, I took a short cut and did this instead (I just had to show off here!):
Proud sigh.
Babies can do this to you and much more.
And in between all this, I managed to notice a silvery glow in the sun. A strand of white in an unruly mass of black. And it happened much before I hit my mid-life crisis. And the unlikely discovery took place in the middle of a conversation between k's mom and me. I was describing r's antics to her absently twirling a bit of hair in my index finger (an annoying habit I picked up from a girl at Bits) and the glint distracted me. I stopped speaking for a while and held the strand of white hair in my hand and gasped.
"Mummy, mera baal saphed ho gaya he"
k's mom, being the nice woman she is, gasped along with me, heard the anguish in my voice and commiserated with me. A few moments of silence and she cautions that I should not remove it else two would sprout in it's place. Yeeesh.
Later I reasoned. One white hair after one baby. Not a bad deal after all.
***
r does the funniest things.
Wait a minute...I am not going to be one of those moms that constantly talk about their kids.
Hmm, on second thoughts, I don't mind being that mom :)
So, the other day r woke up from deep sleep and she had the weirdest expression on her face, like she had forgotten that she was born! She looked to her left and then to her right and stared at me with the biggest eyes possible, as if to ask, "Wrong exit?"
***
The funny thing about marriages like ours (N.Indian weds S.Indian) is...actually there are a lot of funny things, conflicts if you will like:
coffee vs tea
rice vs roti
veshti vs what-do-they-call-it-pyjamas?
and now a brand new addition to the repertoire - thooli vs ghodiyu
So, we, meaning k & I, have this thing called a ghodiyu which swings neatly and r has been kind enough to start sleeping in it now. We, meaning S.Indians, use something called a thooli to rock kids to sleep. It's a hammock that's hung from the ceiling rather than from a stand and it's more closed (to resemble the womb). My mom is convinced that a thooli is the ideal sleep solution for r. k meanwhile is thrilled that we try to put r to sleep in a contraption similar to what he refused to sleep on as a baby :p
r meanwhile assumes it's play time whenever we put her in the ghodiyu. She gives this really flirty grin to the decorative stick above her that holds the ghodiyu together and starts playing.
Personally, I doubt she will sleep well in a thooli either. Babies just aren't designed to sleep like adults unless of course it's an $$amby baby$$ :p
***
k claims he can no longer be the "good husband". Apparently the warranty ran out six weeks postpartum.
"Let's see 9 months of pregnancy plus 6 weeks after birth. Yup, now I can stop being so nice..."
"So now you go back to being you again?"
"Basically yes."
"You are a !@#$$$%"
"Not in front of the baby!"
***
I have never considered myself "girly" nor did people give me that impression until sometime ago. Anyway, I rediscovered a girly part of myself with a quick stitch kit. You know how you always see this picture of a happy, heavily pregnant mom knitting her way to glory? Well, I took a short cut and did this instead (I just had to show off here!):
Proud sigh.
November 18, 2008
The man at the bottom of the stairs.
"The man at the bottom of the stairs. By RS."
This sounds like one of those story reading sessions that come on TV. You know what I mean? Usually it's a local channel and there is a still picture of the book and a serious sounding voice reading from the book. If you don't know what am talking about just forget you read this bit and say "Man at the bottom of the stairs" in a grave voice, that should do it.
Anyway coming to the man in question, that would be my dear significant other, k. He has now accomplished the surprisingly tricky task of falling down our stairs three times. I am tempted to say four but that one time he just missed, falling down the stairs that is. He somehow managed to find his delicate sense of balance and stay put on a step.
He always has a valid reason for falling down. I almost bought his story the first time. Of course now am wise. Now I know that his falling down the stairs can be explained by a complex equation involving many variables including the universe, balance, karma and sloth.
The first time he said he was jetlagged and thought he was walking on level land and hence fell down the stairs. Fair enough, we had just returned from India and I convinced myself that it could happen to anyone. No broken bones, so we were good.
The second time, I was an active participant in his fall. No, I didn't push him (very funny) but I did try to save him. Rather brave of me. It didn't really work out but hey, it's the thought that counts. Yeah I know, k is not very convinced with that line of argument either. So what I did was hold out my hand to prevent or at least deter-progress-of his bumpy ride down the stairs but I realized a split second late that I was not endowed with giant arms. So my arm kind of hung in the air as k went down the stairs. Bump! Bump! Bump! When I saw him sitting down the stairs holding his sides, I was terrified and also had an inexplicable urge to laugh. Nope, k didn't approve of that urge either.
The third incident is pretty recent. And I have only myself to blame (No, again, it's not what you think, jeez!). So after the first two incidents, I had gotten into this routine of reminding k not to fall down the stairs. It kind of became a habit. Every time he would go near the stairs, I would automatically say, "k, don't fall down the stairs" and it was all pretty effective. But after a few months, we both grew complacent. I stopped reminding him each time and he assumed he was super man again which means he would go down the stairs 3 at a time and then try 5 and so on. So last week, super-k did just that and Radhu and I heard a thud! thud! thud!
So that's the story about the man at the bottom of the stairs (sounds almost like Harry Potter living under the stairs minus the magical powers). And for the next few months am back on auto pilot reminding k not to fall down the stairs and k believes he is just-k not super-k, so he takes the stairs one at a time.
November 08, 2008
What this is not about.
My birth story
I thought of writing a birth story. As one of my friends put it, Radhu's birth was eventful enough to talk about it for quite sometime. But then, somewhere between midnight feedings and diaper changes I lost the enthusiasm to write about it. I did note down a pretty extensive story in my diary though. When Radhu is 16 and talking back at me, I plan to show her the diary entry, just like Marie (Arrgg, it's finally happened. I am planning to be like Marie of all people!):
Ray -"No"
Marie - "Oh the agony...when I carried you for nine months..."
Ray - "Ok mom, not that story again. I'll do it")
So anyway, I didn't write the birth story here. So, this post is not about that.
Drishti
Just like in any TamBram family, as soon as an auspicious event occurs, there is extensive discussion about drishti (nazar) and even more elaborate ways to circumvent it. For instance, inviting a 100 people to your new house for the house warming ceremony, these people being likely drishti candidates. Now, what defines a drishti candidate (i,e a drishti putter)?
A drishti putter is someone who is likely to see your fine new house and go, "Gosh! Look at their biiiiig house! It's so neat and shiny! Wish I had one like this" and then lo and behold! The east entrance of the house crumbles down because of a rare species of malfunctionaing termites. You get the point. So coming back to the discussion, a new house owner wishing to avoid drishti should invite the most likely 100 drishti putters (it's kind of like the flu vaccine, you select the most probable strains!) and then offer good food to them to avoid their drishti. Yup, we TamBrams sure know how to beat the "casters" of the evil eye!
I wanted to note down my thoughts on drishti but then I was so overwhelmed by the amount of rules and regulations for avoiding drishti for new baby and mom that I forgot to note them down here. (To be fair, my mom has been pretty lax about imposing them on me which is sweet of her...just in case she reads this post :p)
So this post is not about drishti.
Homesickness
What do you call it when you are homesick at home? That's what I have been having intermittently for the past several weeks. And I blame it on my house guests. My dad initially flew in for a week, followed by my brother for 10 days and then my sis-in-law for 10 days. And everytime they leave, I feel homesick all over again. I even considered going to Madras for a couple of months. Being a new mom puts certain things in perspective or way out of perspective. Which is pretty much how being a normal person is but anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, perspective. So you a new mom and you start thinking about how much quality time the grandparents are missing back in India and then you start thinking about moving back to India for good and then your husband goes like, "Whaa? Is this some weird manifestation of baby blues that has my wife suggesting sudden life changes?"
But after six weeks postpartum, I gave up the idea (at least for the time being). So, I couldn't really write about an India trip.
Baby Talk
Ever been in one of those mildly embarassing situations where the parents of a baby excitedly tell us "Oh you should see him doing this, it's so funny..." and then they prompt the baby with all the sweet talk they can muster. The baby of course does its own thing. He gives them a blank look and refuses to do the cute antic he was supposed to do. Even worse, he acts like he did not even begin to understand the request. I am waiting for the time when that's going to happen to k and me. I always told myself I should remember not to do that but am pretty sure I am going to do it. I could write something about funny baby stuff like that but I keep forgetting what else I had to say. All thoughts keep getting entangled with a steady flow of drowsiness.
So that's all the stuff that I did not write here. Until I have some coherent thoughts that I can pen down, this is what my blog is going to be about. Little nothings :)
I thought of writing a birth story. As one of my friends put it, Radhu's birth was eventful enough to talk about it for quite sometime. But then, somewhere between midnight feedings and diaper changes I lost the enthusiasm to write about it. I did note down a pretty extensive story in my diary though. When Radhu is 16 and talking back at me, I plan to show her the diary entry, just like Marie (Arrgg, it's finally happened. I am planning to be like Marie of all people!):
Ray -"No"
Marie - "Oh the agony...when I carried you for nine months..."
Ray - "Ok mom, not that story again. I'll do it")
So anyway, I didn't write the birth story here. So, this post is not about that.
Drishti
Just like in any TamBram family, as soon as an auspicious event occurs, there is extensive discussion about drishti (nazar) and even more elaborate ways to circumvent it. For instance, inviting a 100 people to your new house for the house warming ceremony, these people being likely drishti candidates. Now, what defines a drishti candidate (i,e a drishti putter)?
A drishti putter is someone who is likely to see your fine new house and go, "Gosh! Look at their biiiiig house! It's so neat and shiny! Wish I had one like this" and then lo and behold! The east entrance of the house crumbles down because of a rare species of malfunctionaing termites. You get the point. So coming back to the discussion, a new house owner wishing to avoid drishti should invite the most likely 100 drishti putters (it's kind of like the flu vaccine, you select the most probable strains!) and then offer good food to them to avoid their drishti. Yup, we TamBrams sure know how to beat the "casters" of the evil eye!
I wanted to note down my thoughts on drishti but then I was so overwhelmed by the amount of rules and regulations for avoiding drishti for new baby and mom that I forgot to note them down here. (To be fair, my mom has been pretty lax about imposing them on me which is sweet of her...just in case she reads this post :p)
So this post is not about drishti.
Homesickness
What do you call it when you are homesick at home? That's what I have been having intermittently for the past several weeks. And I blame it on my house guests. My dad initially flew in for a week, followed by my brother for 10 days and then my sis-in-law for 10 days. And everytime they leave, I feel homesick all over again. I even considered going to Madras for a couple of months. Being a new mom puts certain things in perspective or way out of perspective. Which is pretty much how being a normal person is but anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, perspective. So you a new mom and you start thinking about how much quality time the grandparents are missing back in India and then you start thinking about moving back to India for good and then your husband goes like, "Whaa? Is this some weird manifestation of baby blues that has my wife suggesting sudden life changes?"
But after six weeks postpartum, I gave up the idea (at least for the time being). So, I couldn't really write about an India trip.
Baby Talk
Ever been in one of those mildly embarassing situations where the parents of a baby excitedly tell us "Oh you should see him doing this, it's so funny..." and then they prompt the baby with all the sweet talk they can muster. The baby of course does its own thing. He gives them a blank look and refuses to do the cute antic he was supposed to do. Even worse, he acts like he did not even begin to understand the request. I am waiting for the time when that's going to happen to k and me. I always told myself I should remember not to do that but am pretty sure I am going to do it. I could write something about funny baby stuff like that but I keep forgetting what else I had to say. All thoughts keep getting entangled with a steady flow of drowsiness.
So that's all the stuff that I did not write here. Until I have some coherent thoughts that I can pen down, this is what my blog is going to be about. Little nothings :)
October 22, 2008
Passions, Obsessions, Madnesses
Italics rock. They add quite a bit of character even to an unremarkable statement like the one below. You can safely begin these statements with "A wise person once said..." even if you just made it up impromptu:
If you dig deep enough, you will find a bit of madness in everyone, a Don Quixote living a hidden life.
Or at least my life seems like that and while I would like to be distinct enough from everyone else (no two people are alike and all that), I probably wouldn't want to stand out too much (nuttu kayanda case :) and so I attribute bits of my trait to the people around. Keeps me from wondering if am a little mad sometimes :p
k often declares (given the chance) that I jump from one obsession to another. He tells me the way he handles my "phases" are to just let me ride it out, be super passionate about something so much so that it borders on obsession and then slowly I'll get over it until the next bright thing catches my eye :p
Books, movies, people, events - they all are a part of my curiosity, passion, obsession - me:
- Like the time I watched DDLJ 7 times and dreamed about the movie. My dad worried, especially since SRK at that time acted in a bunch of psycho-movies - Baazigar, Darr, Anjam! Recently I was totally ga-ga over "Happy Days" and dived into nostalgia for more than a week!
- My obsession ("Iron will" sounds so much better :p) to join Bits when I was in eleventh grade
- My more common book-madnesses - Recently, HP, Shopaholic series, the Twilight series...
- People obsessions - this is less of an obsession than just a large amount of time and effort spent focusing on a person and "relating" to them. This kind of peaks when the relationship is still relatively new and then ebbs down to a constant. k terms this the "feelings network". He is all about being the nonchalant observer and making up theories to explain them :p
- Idea/Action obsessions - Going organic/natural/non-toxic, vaccines pros and cons, Bharatanatyam, writing...
If I think about it, it's like the rest of my life are just periods of time when am "normal", waiting to ride the next high of whatever it is that consumes my fancy, time, mental energy. Ok so, that's a whole lot of crazy in one post. To cut short a long sleep-deprived introspection, I was wondering if this is the same with everyone else, if each life is just a string of passions and obsessions tied together with moments of sanity?
Maybe I just need more sleep!
If you dig deep enough, you will find a bit of madness in everyone, a Don Quixote living a hidden life.
Or at least my life seems like that and while I would like to be distinct enough from everyone else (no two people are alike and all that), I probably wouldn't want to stand out too much (nuttu kayanda case :) and so I attribute bits of my trait to the people around. Keeps me from wondering if am a little mad sometimes :p
k often declares (given the chance) that I jump from one obsession to another. He tells me the way he handles my "phases" are to just let me ride it out, be super passionate about something so much so that it borders on obsession and then slowly I'll get over it until the next bright thing catches my eye :p
Books, movies, people, events - they all are a part of my curiosity, passion, obsession - me:
- Like the time I watched DDLJ 7 times and dreamed about the movie. My dad worried, especially since SRK at that time acted in a bunch of psycho-movies - Baazigar, Darr, Anjam! Recently I was totally ga-ga over "Happy Days" and dived into nostalgia for more than a week!
- My obsession ("Iron will" sounds so much better :p) to join Bits when I was in eleventh grade
- My more common book-madnesses - Recently, HP, Shopaholic series, the Twilight series...
- People obsessions - this is less of an obsession than just a large amount of time and effort spent focusing on a person and "relating" to them. This kind of peaks when the relationship is still relatively new and then ebbs down to a constant. k terms this the "feelings network". He is all about being the nonchalant observer and making up theories to explain them :p
- Idea/Action obsessions - Going organic/natural/non-toxic, vaccines pros and cons, Bharatanatyam, writing...
If I think about it, it's like the rest of my life are just periods of time when am "normal", waiting to ride the next high of whatever it is that consumes my fancy, time, mental energy. Ok so, that's a whole lot of crazy in one post. To cut short a long sleep-deprived introspection, I was wondering if this is the same with everyone else, if each life is just a string of passions and obsessions tied together with moments of sanity?
Maybe I just need more sleep!
October 10, 2008
Twilight - Must. Read. Now!
So, I owe part of my sanity during the last few countdown days before labor to Stephanie Meyer for her Twilight series and to a~ for introducing me to the novel. I devoured the first 3 novels of the series in 5 days and was half way through the fourth when Radhukutti decided to make an appearance :) k actually bought the hardbound versions of the 3rd and 4th book for me from Joseph Beth (the paper backs were not yet out) and was pretty smug about it (I made my pregnant wife happy, I rock etc.)
Managed to complete the fourth novel a couple of days back. Yes, it is that engrossing, haunting, touching...for some reason I thought of Harry Potter - after the last HP novel, between sighs and sniffles I thought I would never read a novel series that is quite as addictive as HP, am glad I was wrong.
Can't wait to watch the movie...Edward in my head was a bit different, even more bewitchingly handsome but I'll comment in detail once I watch the movie (provided Radhu lets me :p)
Managed to complete the fourth novel a couple of days back. Yes, it is that engrossing, haunting, touching...for some reason I thought of Harry Potter - after the last HP novel, between sighs and sniffles I thought I would never read a novel series that is quite as addictive as HP, am glad I was wrong.
Can't wait to watch the movie...Edward in my head was a bit different, even more bewitchingly handsome but I'll comment in detail once I watch the movie (provided Radhu lets me :p)
October 08, 2008
So now I know...
that socks and mittens for newborns are an eyewash. They are just something you buy thinking your precious little one will keep her little toes and fingers toasty in them. So far one sock managed to stay on for 15 minutes and that's my baby's personal record!
Happy Saraswathi Puja and Happy Vijayadasami to you all and many thanks for the good vibrations sent my way :)
September 09, 2008
Happy Days, Bits Pilani
Ok, I'll come clean. I am one of those weird people who googles names of old college mates once in a while, just for the heck of it. Not just the names of guys I had a crush on or best friends, even those that I secretly wanted to be like in college, those I had a fallout with, the studs (as we called them in Bits), the freaks, even the nobodys. I guess I am just curious at times to know how their lives turned out, after all these years.
And once in a while, along comes a movie like Happy Days and I feel nostalgic again, pull out my old photo albums, autograph books (how sad to see them die a slow death now that we can boast of always staying "connected" - I just realized am hardly in touch with the people in these fading photos who shared some of the most enjoyable years of my life!) and read the words I had read so often many years back (teary-eyed the first few weeks after leaving Bits).
Oasis (Cultural festival) and Apogee (Academic/movie festival) were the times I enjoyed the most. After coming back to Meera Bhawan, my wingies and I would talk endlessly about the actual events and of course about boys! There were times when we would rush to get seats in the campus cinema hall next to the fun guys. The unlucky ones among us got stuck next to the not-so-fun guys or girls :p. And then back in the bhawan we would get ragged for sitting next to so-and-so. Sounds so silly when I say it now but then it was a big deal!
And Tripping! Tripping, bitsian lingo for teasing you with a boy (girl), was fun especially when you got tripped with the right guy ;) My favourite tripping routine was to substitute names of my friends in famous movie songs and sing it loudly when they were in "kadalai" mode.
Ragging was fun at Bits, for girls at least! There was this one senior dude who made it a point to catch all the pretty girls multiple times until one of them fell in love with him (or at least that's what I thought his persistent efforts indicated)! My number was 3, which wasn't so bad considering he had ragged the two prettiest girls on campus 7 and 5 times respectively (When you are 16 you remember stuff like this for a long time) :p Then, there was this time DAV school seniors at Bits "caught" me for a ragging session and they were being nice and all but I was homesick I guess and I started crying and that made them really uncomfortable. So, they took me to Connaught (Bits hangout area - restaurants and such) and treated me to a strawberry milk shake and cracked jokes to make me laugh and accompanied me back to Meera bhawan since it was getting dark, which was all very sweet of them.
The other incident I remember well is going to Shankar Bhawan to get ragged! Bits had this weird custom where freshees got to go to one of the guys' bhawans to get ragged, eat a really good lunch with some amazing icecream and come back to Meera Bhawan to share those stories. So anyway, I remember that one of my well-meaning Meera Bhawan seniors called me the previous night and said, "Mosa, just wanted to warn you that you better be prepared for tomorrow. you are the only Illad girl going to Shankar Bhawan and those guys are all Illads but they are really nice guys..." (Illad = Tamil students, from "illada..."). I was pretty scared by the time I got to Shankar Bhawan with a few other girls. Those guys did turn out to be nice guys, although a bit intimidating at first. There were the usual questions about why girls don't get into IIT often if they are just as smart as guys and so on. And then at the end of the ragging session, they asked me to rate them on a scale of 1-10 :p I made the mistake of rating one guy 10 mainly because he didn't ask me too many questions and seemed the quiet, studious not-scary senior types. By the time I walked out of Shankar bhawan (and several months following that day), those guys would shout "10 pointer" whenever I passed through the Bhawan.
Another incident I remember vividly was getting caught with s~ by my school (DAV) seniors. I can't say I was entirely displeased considering I thought s~ was cute :p So, when the seniors gave him 2 options - propose to a cow or write a romantic poem and propose to the freshee, I was amused. I knew s~ was good at English but producing a poem on demand was tough for anyone. Anyway, s~ made a quick decision, plucked a blade of grass (it could have been a weed actually) and got down to his knees and recited this really sweet poem (Ok fine, it was kind of cliched but hey, try writing one on demand in a few seconds!). I think sometime in my third year, I asked s~ if he still remembered the ragging incident and he said he did and actually wrote that poem down for me, which for some girly, sentimental reason, I still save in my treasure box. Actually, it's in k's treasure box and he isn't exactly thrilled that I store my "proposal poem" (below) there :)
There were the tie-ups, breakups, misunderstandings that's typical of college life and I think we ended up being in two different gangs over the course of 4 years. There was this one time when someone spread the rumour that I was going "psenti" (steady) with a guy and several people offered congratulations before I could tell them nothing of that sort actually happened. The funny thing was one of the girls who helped spread the rumour eventually married the guy. Talk about coincidences!
You know how in movies, there are always these friends of main guy/girl who make it their business to advise guy/girl about their lives, I had a couple of those advice sessions too - "Mosa, you shouldn't do this..." blah blah. Which at that point I took a bit too seriously. In retrospect I had the most fun when I was just doing that - being myself! I know better now but that's what college experience is about, I guess. Sweet and sour. Oh! Did I ever mention my blog name is based on my Bitsian name, mosakutti ?!
Bits campus is beautiful, almost out of a movie but I never did get a chance to see Jaipur though. My parents were reluctant to begin with and the warden told them it was not a great idea, she would not approve of the trip but my parents could go ahead and give their approval in which case she won't stand in their way! And there was this guy in the group who suggested that he would talk to the warden in an oldish male voice claiming to be one of the girls' dads. We finally dumped the plan :p
I was in DOPY (Dept of Photography) for a year and then in Art & Deco but never managed to gel with the gang there. Always wanted to be a part of PTM (Pilani Tamil Mandram) and wanted to transfer to Comp Sci/Info Sys...at that time, it was a big deal. I was pretty focused on switching my branch to Comp Sci. Never did happen though.
Half the fun of the Bits experience was in the long train journeys. I think of those GT/TN train journeys sometimes when I am searching for short story ideas...I assumed some dude like SRK would hold my hand (just like in...you guessed it, DDLJ!) and pull me into the train. It did happen. Only the dude was a middle aged, pot-bellied sardarji (God bless him) who gave me a lecture on how educated youngsters these days don't have any common sense and that I should have gotten on to the train on time instead of running to get onto a moving train. In my defense, I did manage to step on to the train but one of my friends decided to use me as a lever to push herself on to the moving train :p
Sigh. Memories, memories. Like quicksand. You are in another life when you eventually pull out of it...
All in good fun.
Remaining stories through photos :)
Bhawan's nites (above) were fun. This is when guys get to invite girls as guests to their bhawan and vice versa. Usually a fun-filled night with cultural programs and great food!
I loved sam and chai at insti cafeteria. Especially after cutting classes. One of the bhaias captured in our group photo above.
Many a memorable moment spent at Meera bhawan mess (above).
Ahem...group studies at Ref Li (reference library on campus)!
Crazy times in Meera bhawan (above)!
Gosh! I can't remember where we took this photo...somewhere close to campus, we had taken our cycles for a day trip there...
Yeah, the DDLJ craze still held strong those days :p
Another Bhawan's night group photo...sarees for a change :)
Holi @ Meera Bhawan
Dancing with the stars...
Sky (where most of the ragging sessions happened) with my first gang...
And here's the song that started it all for me :)
And once in a while, along comes a movie like Happy Days and I feel nostalgic again, pull out my old photo albums, autograph books (how sad to see them die a slow death now that we can boast of always staying "connected" - I just realized am hardly in touch with the people in these fading photos who shared some of the most enjoyable years of my life!) and read the words I had read so often many years back (teary-eyed the first few weeks after leaving Bits).
Oasis (Cultural festival) and Apogee (Academic/movie festival) were the times I enjoyed the most. After coming back to Meera Bhawan, my wingies and I would talk endlessly about the actual events and of course about boys! There were times when we would rush to get seats in the campus cinema hall next to the fun guys. The unlucky ones among us got stuck next to the not-so-fun guys or girls :p. And then back in the bhawan we would get ragged for sitting next to so-and-so. Sounds so silly when I say it now but then it was a big deal!
And Tripping! Tripping, bitsian lingo for teasing you with a boy (girl), was fun especially when you got tripped with the right guy ;) My favourite tripping routine was to substitute names of my friends in famous movie songs and sing it loudly when they were in "kadalai" mode.
Ragging was fun at Bits, for girls at least! There was this one senior dude who made it a point to catch all the pretty girls multiple times until one of them fell in love with him (or at least that's what I thought his persistent efforts indicated)! My number was 3, which wasn't so bad considering he had ragged the two prettiest girls on campus 7 and 5 times respectively (When you are 16 you remember stuff like this for a long time) :p Then, there was this time DAV school seniors at Bits "caught" me for a ragging session and they were being nice and all but I was homesick I guess and I started crying and that made them really uncomfortable. So, they took me to Connaught (Bits hangout area - restaurants and such) and treated me to a strawberry milk shake and cracked jokes to make me laugh and accompanied me back to Meera bhawan since it was getting dark, which was all very sweet of them.
The other incident I remember well is going to Shankar Bhawan to get ragged! Bits had this weird custom where freshees got to go to one of the guys' bhawans to get ragged, eat a really good lunch with some amazing icecream and come back to Meera Bhawan to share those stories. So anyway, I remember that one of my well-meaning Meera Bhawan seniors called me the previous night and said, "Mosa, just wanted to warn you that you better be prepared for tomorrow. you are the only Illad girl going to Shankar Bhawan and those guys are all Illads but they are really nice guys..." (Illad = Tamil students, from "illada..."). I was pretty scared by the time I got to Shankar Bhawan with a few other girls. Those guys did turn out to be nice guys, although a bit intimidating at first. There were the usual questions about why girls don't get into IIT often if they are just as smart as guys and so on. And then at the end of the ragging session, they asked me to rate them on a scale of 1-10 :p I made the mistake of rating one guy 10 mainly because he didn't ask me too many questions and seemed the quiet, studious not-scary senior types. By the time I walked out of Shankar bhawan (and several months following that day), those guys would shout "10 pointer" whenever I passed through the Bhawan.
Another incident I remember vividly was getting caught with s~ by my school (DAV) seniors. I can't say I was entirely displeased considering I thought s~ was cute :p So, when the seniors gave him 2 options - propose to a cow or write a romantic poem and propose to the freshee, I was amused. I knew s~ was good at English but producing a poem on demand was tough for anyone. Anyway, s~ made a quick decision, plucked a blade of grass (it could have been a weed actually) and got down to his knees and recited this really sweet poem (Ok fine, it was kind of cliched but hey, try writing one on demand in a few seconds!). I think sometime in my third year, I asked s~ if he still remembered the ragging incident and he said he did and actually wrote that poem down for me, which for some girly, sentimental reason, I still save in my treasure box. Actually, it's in k's treasure box and he isn't exactly thrilled that I store my "proposal poem" (below) there :)
There were the tie-ups, breakups, misunderstandings that's typical of college life and I think we ended up being in two different gangs over the course of 4 years. There was this one time when someone spread the rumour that I was going "psenti" (steady) with a guy and several people offered congratulations before I could tell them nothing of that sort actually happened. The funny thing was one of the girls who helped spread the rumour eventually married the guy. Talk about coincidences!
You know how in movies, there are always these friends of main guy/girl who make it their business to advise guy/girl about their lives, I had a couple of those advice sessions too - "Mosa, you shouldn't do this..." blah blah. Which at that point I took a bit too seriously. In retrospect I had the most fun when I was just doing that - being myself! I know better now but that's what college experience is about, I guess. Sweet and sour. Oh! Did I ever mention my blog name is based on my Bitsian name, mosakutti ?!
Bits campus is beautiful, almost out of a movie but I never did get a chance to see Jaipur though. My parents were reluctant to begin with and the warden told them it was not a great idea, she would not approve of the trip but my parents could go ahead and give their approval in which case she won't stand in their way! And there was this guy in the group who suggested that he would talk to the warden in an oldish male voice claiming to be one of the girls' dads. We finally dumped the plan :p
I was in DOPY (Dept of Photography) for a year and then in Art & Deco but never managed to gel with the gang there. Always wanted to be a part of PTM (Pilani Tamil Mandram) and wanted to transfer to Comp Sci/Info Sys...at that time, it was a big deal. I was pretty focused on switching my branch to Comp Sci. Never did happen though.
Half the fun of the Bits experience was in the long train journeys. I think of those GT/TN train journeys sometimes when I am searching for short story ideas...I assumed some dude like SRK would hold my hand (just like in...you guessed it, DDLJ!) and pull me into the train. It did happen. Only the dude was a middle aged, pot-bellied sardarji (God bless him) who gave me a lecture on how educated youngsters these days don't have any common sense and that I should have gotten on to the train on time instead of running to get onto a moving train. In my defense, I did manage to step on to the train but one of my friends decided to use me as a lever to push herself on to the moving train :p
Sigh. Memories, memories. Like quicksand. You are in another life when you eventually pull out of it...
All in good fun.
Remaining stories through photos :)
Bhawan's nites (above) were fun. This is when guys get to invite girls as guests to their bhawan and vice versa. Usually a fun-filled night with cultural programs and great food!
I loved sam and chai at insti cafeteria. Especially after cutting classes. One of the bhaias captured in our group photo above.
Many a memorable moment spent at Meera bhawan mess (above).
Ahem...group studies at Ref Li (reference library on campus)!
Crazy times in Meera bhawan (above)!
Gosh! I can't remember where we took this photo...somewhere close to campus, we had taken our cycles for a day trip there...
Yeah, the DDLJ craze still held strong those days :p
Another Bhawan's night group photo...sarees for a change :)
Holi @ Meera Bhawan
Dancing with the stars...
Sky (where most of the ragging sessions happened) with my first gang...And here's the song that started it all for me :)
September 05, 2008
Flash fiction.
Short stories are hard enough to write, really short stories are even more challenging. I guess, flash fiction is about telling powerful, succinct, quick tales that leave an impact - a flash of inspiration!
Anyway, I gave it a shot for a competition. 500 words with a title hint. Didn't have much time to edit it since the deadline was pretty close:
Lakshmi writes...
Anyway, I gave it a shot for a competition. 500 words with a title hint. Didn't have much time to edit it since the deadline was pretty close:
Lakshmi writes...
August 28, 2008
August 12, 2008
Heaven-Hell
Am beginning to think there is no such thing as just love; Or hate for that matter. Where there is love, there will be hate lurking in the corners ready to pounce and shake things up a bit. Where there is hate, there probably was love earlier whose space it now occupies. I wonder if this is true for all absolutes. Even the most dastardly person will probably cough up a little bit of bravery when the right situation calls for it and even the most courageous man will surrender to fear sometime...
One of Jhumpa Lahiri's short stories had a woman in it who describes the change in a man she loves as "Heaven-Hell"; She happens to be married and develops feelings for this other man who relates to her in ways her husband can never can, she marries in India and settles down to a life of being a bored house-wife in the US and meets this desi Grad student by chance...anyway, it's an interesting story - He ends up falling in love with an American girl and she says something like, "He has changed so much...it is like Heaven-Hell", somewhat like the love-hate feeling that we often encounter in life, I guess.
Sometimes, I wonder if I invest way too much in relationships. So much easier to not be involved and just flit along from person to person as my whim dictates and just have a fun time. I have often declared with a little more than a hint of pride, "Oh, he is my closest friend", "She would definitely tell me" and then, poof! One day, he is no longer my closest friend and turns out, she didn't really tell me about it...and then I wonder what went wrong? Expectation? Pride? Or maybe just that these things exist in pairs. And the exact opposite feeling/event is probably occurring right now in another parallel universe and given some time, they just exchange places.
Ping pong :)
Only there is no winner or loser and by the time we figure out if we played it all right, the game is over.
One of Jhumpa Lahiri's short stories had a woman in it who describes the change in a man she loves as "Heaven-Hell"; She happens to be married and develops feelings for this other man who relates to her in ways her husband can never can, she marries in India and settles down to a life of being a bored house-wife in the US and meets this desi Grad student by chance...anyway, it's an interesting story - He ends up falling in love with an American girl and she says something like, "He has changed so much...it is like Heaven-Hell", somewhat like the love-hate feeling that we often encounter in life, I guess.
Sometimes, I wonder if I invest way too much in relationships. So much easier to not be involved and just flit along from person to person as my whim dictates and just have a fun time. I have often declared with a little more than a hint of pride, "Oh, he is my closest friend", "She would definitely tell me" and then, poof! One day, he is no longer my closest friend and turns out, she didn't really tell me about it...and then I wonder what went wrong? Expectation? Pride? Or maybe just that these things exist in pairs. And the exact opposite feeling/event is probably occurring right now in another parallel universe and given some time, they just exchange places.
Ping pong :)
Only there is no winner or loser and by the time we figure out if we played it all right, the game is over.
August 04, 2008
Movies and Misc. Musings.
Finally saw "Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na", couple of dialogues that I thought were pretty realistic:
"I have never seen Jai this involved, this into someone, as if the outside world doesn't exist, he has eyes only for this one person...just that I haven't seen Jai like this..."
"Aditi, Jai was always like this, the only difference is that, earlier it was you, now it's Meghna..."
Surprising and yet realistic how Aditi doesn't realize this fact until it was some other girl, just not her, who was the focus of all his attention...
"I always drop you home Jai. You got a girl-friend, so you forgot your friend?"
Pretty clichéd yet also believable. Definitely something a girl would say to her best friend who is a boy.
"Tomorrow, I'll spend all day with you, just Jai and Aditi..."
"Jai, you spend time with me because you want to, not because you have to...."
Or something to that effect which also was the right dialogue in the right place.
Anyway, I had fun watching the movie. These sort of college movies never get old, I guess. People of all ages relate to it and kind of relive their own college days...and Imran Khan is incredibly cute, reminds me of Aamir Khan in QSQT. Sigh! Can't believe there was a time when I watched DDLJ 7 times in the theatre!
The other day k spent a long moment looking like he was in deep rumination, he finally said, "You know, I don't mind taking 6 months off if you want to go to work earlier..."
And then it was my turn to give my trademark evil laugh and say, "Fat chance, buddy!" :p
"I have never seen Jai this involved, this into someone, as if the outside world doesn't exist, he has eyes only for this one person...just that I haven't seen Jai like this..."
"Aditi, Jai was always like this, the only difference is that, earlier it was you, now it's Meghna..."
Surprising and yet realistic how Aditi doesn't realize this fact until it was some other girl, just not her, who was the focus of all his attention...
"I always drop you home Jai. You got a girl-friend, so you forgot your friend?"
Pretty clichéd yet also believable. Definitely something a girl would say to her best friend who is a boy.
"Tomorrow, I'll spend all day with you, just Jai and Aditi..."
"Jai, you spend time with me because you want to, not because you have to...."
Or something to that effect which also was the right dialogue in the right place.
Anyway, I had fun watching the movie. These sort of college movies never get old, I guess. People of all ages relate to it and kind of relive their own college days...and Imran Khan is incredibly cute, reminds me of Aamir Khan in QSQT. Sigh! Can't believe there was a time when I watched DDLJ 7 times in the theatre!
***
Ever noticed how American kids are far more outspoken than Indian kids the same age? And American teenagers, at least most of the ones I have seen are able to carry on an interesting conversation with strangers, break the ice and sail right through while Indian teenagers the same age seem more reserved? Maybe it's just me. Anyway, one question that 4-5 year old kids always ask when I am at the airport (this time, they asked my mom), "What's that red thing on your face?" "Does it never go?" There was this one time where I happened to have a bindi with me and I put it on this kid that was playing with me and she had an initial panic attack that it was permanent :) but then proceeded to enjoy the fact that she could remove and place it at will!***
People keep saying working when you have a baby at home is a balancing act. I think working while pregnant is also a kind of balancing act. The one thing that managers will always mention in every meeting with you is "You have only n weeks to go". Yes, it sounds like a pretty innocuous observation but the thing is, this simple observation starts from the time you tell your manager that you are pregnant. So over the course of 8 months, I have heard this observation about 16 times - "You are gone by September, right? That's just like 5 months more, right?", "We better plan your work...you might need to go earlier", "You will be gone pretty soon, so, we need to have a hand-off meeting, you have only 4 months, right?"...so you can imagine, by this time, I so do not want to hear when my vacation starts especially when am working my a** off and putting in after-work hours!***
The other day k spent a long moment looking like he was in deep rumination, he finally said, "You know, I don't mind taking 6 months off if you want to go to work earlier..."
And then it was my turn to give my trademark evil laugh and say, "Fat chance, buddy!" :p
***
July 18, 2008
Just say "yes"!
You know this trick men have to pacify their wives, just nod every few minutes and say a few agreeable words like "Hmm...yes", "I can understand", "Makes sense"? Well sometimes, I think that works best for the man and the wife. Especially during pregnancy. The other day I was asking k if he knew what the most annoying question is that people ask me? He came up with a few vague answers and in general was clueless, which is not a big surprise. But anyway, one of the most annoying questions for me is, "Have you been walking/exercising regularly? Or..."
Or what? Or have I been sitting on my fat behind, perching my oh-so-light 25 pounds extra on the sofa and watching the 5th rerun of Still Standing or Rachael Ray's summer treats?
Or have I been lying on bed all day calling k on the cell to ask for some light snacks to be brought up to the bed room?
Actually if you think about it, it's an innocent question by itself but somehow it always rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it's the weird hormonal imbalance in me that manipulates the question in my head so I process it all wrong. Each time!
In my head, I come up with a fitting response each time though I just nod each time and say nothing, for example:
"Oh nooo! My nurse says walking might result in preterm glycomalampsiacal abberrations!"
"Nooo, I am waiting for you to gain 20-30 pounds extra and join me for walking, that way we can both enjoy how light and breezy we both feel about the walk, so shall we say, next Tuesday?"
"No, I haven't been walking. I prefer not to move much from my bed so I can stay relaxed all day long. Of course my company understands and so does my husband. In fact, the other day my company sent me flowers that my husband arranged in a pretty vase next to my bed so I can smell it without getting out of bed..."
Or I could go with the really simple, "No. I don't believe in walking" response.
Anyhow, coming back to the topic, sometimes the least stressful thing for a woman to hear during her pregnancy is just a yes. Not a detailed logical response explaining why her idea won't work, not a sorta-yes-sorta-no head shake, just a bright, agreeable "Yes!".
"Can we go on a cruise with our one week old baby so we can both recover?"
"Yes, of course dear!"
"Let's plan the India trip that we will make in 2015 so I can make sure we are all set..."
"Yes, I agree. Let's do that!"
"I want tea at 8.30 in the night 15 minutes before dinner."
"Of course, good idea, I'll make some for myself too!"
"Will the baby be born with 6 fingers?"
"Yes..." Well, it doesn't always work but 3 out of 4 ain't bad!
See, what I mean? There is an RSS (Really Simple Solution) to every problem on earth. And if men were to ask me the one thing they could do to ensure a stress-free la-dee-dah pregnancy for their wives, I would say, "Yes. Just say yes!".
Reminds me of this movie in which Rajnikanth will keep saying "Yesssss, yessss" without understanding what the other person says in English :)
Or what? Or have I been sitting on my fat behind, perching my oh-so-light 25 pounds extra on the sofa and watching the 5th rerun of Still Standing or Rachael Ray's summer treats?
Or have I been lying on bed all day calling k on the cell to ask for some light snacks to be brought up to the bed room?
Actually if you think about it, it's an innocent question by itself but somehow it always rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it's the weird hormonal imbalance in me that manipulates the question in my head so I process it all wrong. Each time!
In my head, I come up with a fitting response each time though I just nod each time and say nothing, for example:
"Oh nooo! My nurse says walking might result in preterm glycomalampsiacal abberrations!"
"Nooo, I am waiting for you to gain 20-30 pounds extra and join me for walking, that way we can both enjoy how light and breezy we both feel about the walk, so shall we say, next Tuesday?"
"No, I haven't been walking. I prefer not to move much from my bed so I can stay relaxed all day long. Of course my company understands and so does my husband. In fact, the other day my company sent me flowers that my husband arranged in a pretty vase next to my bed so I can smell it without getting out of bed..."
Or I could go with the really simple, "No. I don't believe in walking" response.
Anyhow, coming back to the topic, sometimes the least stressful thing for a woman to hear during her pregnancy is just a yes. Not a detailed logical response explaining why her idea won't work, not a sorta-yes-sorta-no head shake, just a bright, agreeable "Yes!".
"Can we go on a cruise with our one week old baby so we can both recover?"
"Yes, of course dear!"
"Let's plan the India trip that we will make in 2015 so I can make sure we are all set..."
"Yes, I agree. Let's do that!"
"I want tea at 8.30 in the night 15 minutes before dinner."
"Of course, good idea, I'll make some for myself too!"
"Will the baby be born with 6 fingers?"
"Yes..." Well, it doesn't always work but 3 out of 4 ain't bad!
See, what I mean? There is an RSS (Really Simple Solution) to every problem on earth. And if men were to ask me the one thing they could do to ensure a stress-free la-dee-dah pregnancy for their wives, I would say, "Yes. Just say yes!".
Reminds me of this movie in which Rajnikanth will keep saying "Yesssss, yessss" without understanding what the other person says in English :)
July 09, 2008
This and that.
We watched It happened one night a few days ago and I absolutely fell in love with the movie. A few minutes into the movie, I guessed that DHKMN (Whaa? You can't figure that out?) was an almost scene to scene copy of this movie...and here I was thinking the Hindi version was an original. Hey, by the way, how many of you knew that u, me aur hum was a copy of The Notebook? I didn't and was quite disappointed and a bit umm...scared after seeing the movie. Another flop remake was "Mann" (An affair to remember). Anyway old, b&w movies are the bessht! I recently watched Pillow talk and it rocked! So also, Come September and Guess who's coming to dinner. Recently, I also was watching When Harry met Sally for the umpteenth time and I realized this is a theme that has been revisited so many times since but it's always fun to watch. Hum-tum for example and A lot like love (one of my recent favorites).
So, as you can see, am really focusing on doing research for the little one. Above mentioned movies are...umm a kind of preparation for the movie-starved days that lie ahead of me :p I think there are about 2 million, 836 books written on pregnancy. Someone ought to stop people from writing any more books on the topic!
---------------------------------------------
So, as you can see, am really focusing on doing research for the little one. Above mentioned movies are...umm a kind of preparation for the movie-starved days that lie ahead of me :p I think there are about 2 million, 836 books written on pregnancy. Someone ought to stop people from writing any more books on the topic!
---------------------------------------------
I have a bridal shower to go to this weekend. Did you know the right etiquette is to give gifts for the shower and the wedding which are kind of one and the same, I mean they celebrate the same event but anyway, in case you didn't know (and I didn't until recently), you might want to budget accordingly :p I can finally wear one of my cute, American maternity tops to the get-together. Somehow, am not so comfortable wearing it at desi gatherings :p!
Have you ever been in a situation where people try to justify what they do? I mean, they chose a path in life and maybe they weren't really convinced about it, so to convince themselves, they kind of throw in a bunch of supporting statements towards that choice. Recently, someone I knew made this statement about having 2 kids, "God! I have no idea how people manage 2 kids! I am all done with my one!" Ok maybe "one" worked wonders for you but then is it necessary to wonder and exclaim about the poor humans that decided that perhaps "two" was manageable too? Sometimes I wonder if these people have a small nagging doubt about the choice they made and they overrule it by saying stuff like this. But then if everyone was agreeable and nice and supported one another's choices, then the world would be kinda boring I guess.
---------------------------------------------
Have you ever been in a situation where people try to justify what they do? I mean, they chose a path in life and maybe they weren't really convinced about it, so to convince themselves, they kind of throw in a bunch of supporting statements towards that choice. Recently, someone I knew made this statement about having 2 kids, "God! I have no idea how people manage 2 kids! I am all done with my one!" Ok maybe "one" worked wonders for you but then is it necessary to wonder and exclaim about the poor humans that decided that perhaps "two" was manageable too? Sometimes I wonder if these people have a small nagging doubt about the choice they made and they overrule it by saying stuff like this. But then if everyone was agreeable and nice and supported one another's choices, then the world would be kinda boring I guess.
---------------------------------------------
There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Those that say it as it is and those that don't. Say, for example, you asked a question or a favor and they don't want to answer it, they talk about everything under the sun, only peripherally related to the topic and think we would be distracted enough by it to not recognize the original intent of all this chatter - the same tactic we employ to distract kids. I think it's just simpler to say it as it is unless of course it means getting fired from your job :p or being downright rude in which case maybe we should revisit our response anyway!
There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Those that say it as it is and those that don't. Say, for example, you asked a question or a favor and they don't want to answer it, they talk about everything under the sun, only peripherally related to the topic and think we would be distracted enough by it to not recognize the original intent of all this chatter - the same tactic we employ to distract kids. I think it's just simpler to say it as it is unless of course it means getting fired from your job :p or being downright rude in which case maybe we should revisit our response anyway!
---------------------------------------------
June 27, 2008
The whole comparison business.
Whenever I talk to k about any given situation and say something like, "Similar to what she did when...", he immediately counters with "Don't compare". I am a reasonable lady and I normally would agree but then I wonder if this is just something that men automatically say to prevent "problems" for them, know what I mean?
It's like they (apologies for generalizing but then if I keep giving disclaimers for my thoughts, I would have more of a disclaimer summary and less of a coherent post!) want to avoid situations in the future where the wife would go, "Oh! But he did this for his wife when he came home late for dinner" or "He baked this double chocolate layer cake with their names spelled out in Monotype corsiva font with icing but you just fixed the tap for Valentine's day!" I wonder if men hate comparisons for this reason more than any logical trail of thoughts about how individuals react differently in different situations and it's not fair to compare and all that good stuff.
The other day, I asked k if he considered me a good cook and I made the mistake of beginning my question with, "Compared to other girls here..." and he went into auto-mode and said, "You can't compare". Uhh ok. So, if I were the only person in a given sample space cooking, I guess that would make me the best and worst cook there is since I can't compare. Which is kind of silly, if you think about it because any rating, ranking, position in society is somewhat based on comparison. I work as an engineer because compared to the other candidates, my employer thought I was better not because in a sample space of 1, I was better than another given sample space of 1 consisting of another candidate. I wouldn't even know how to compare those 2 sample spaces and in any case that renders my argument null and void because we are still comparing! k proposed to me (as in marriage proposal :p) because Gasp! He compared me with other girls!
So I am sort of confused with this whole comparison business. I remember reading articles on spirituality that claim comparison will only cause unhappiness but then that's how we function in a society...is this house better compared to the other houses in the neighborhood? Is this car being sold at a better price compared to n other cars? Is this blog better than the 10 other blogs I read today morning dealing exclusively in life's trivialities and such?
In conclusion, I arrive at no conclusion about comparing. I do have a thought about men and comparisons though. I bet they compare in their heads. All the time. They just don't verbalize it like women do so later on they can claim, "There you go comparing again!" with a lengthy sigh.
It's like they (apologies for generalizing but then if I keep giving disclaimers for my thoughts, I would have more of a disclaimer summary and less of a coherent post!) want to avoid situations in the future where the wife would go, "Oh! But he did this for his wife when he came home late for dinner" or "He baked this double chocolate layer cake with their names spelled out in Monotype corsiva font with icing but you just fixed the tap for Valentine's day!" I wonder if men hate comparisons for this reason more than any logical trail of thoughts about how individuals react differently in different situations and it's not fair to compare and all that good stuff.
The other day, I asked k if he considered me a good cook and I made the mistake of beginning my question with, "Compared to other girls here..." and he went into auto-mode and said, "You can't compare". Uhh ok. So, if I were the only person in a given sample space cooking, I guess that would make me the best and worst cook there is since I can't compare. Which is kind of silly, if you think about it because any rating, ranking, position in society is somewhat based on comparison. I work as an engineer because compared to the other candidates, my employer thought I was better not because in a sample space of 1, I was better than another given sample space of 1 consisting of another candidate. I wouldn't even know how to compare those 2 sample spaces and in any case that renders my argument null and void because we are still comparing! k proposed to me (as in marriage proposal :p) because Gasp! He compared me with other girls!
So I am sort of confused with this whole comparison business. I remember reading articles on spirituality that claim comparison will only cause unhappiness but then that's how we function in a society...is this house better compared to the other houses in the neighborhood? Is this car being sold at a better price compared to n other cars? Is this blog better than the 10 other blogs I read today morning dealing exclusively in life's trivialities and such?
In conclusion, I arrive at no conclusion about comparing. I do have a thought about men and comparisons though. I bet they compare in their heads. All the time. They just don't verbalize it like women do so later on they can claim, "There you go comparing again!" with a lengthy sigh.
June 18, 2008
Activities!
The past few weeks have been full of to-do lists, plans and activities and my mind is a constant whirlwind of thoughts and action plans so much so that I wake up with several to-dos floating in my head interspersed with bits of the fantastic dreams of the previous night. What's up with those dreams anyway? I am a regular dreamer :p in the sense, I have dreams on a regular basis but now it's like I am being bombarded with super vivid dreams which have the most ridiculous scenarios playing in my head - friends from Bits and temples from my childhood, old aunties and strange prophecies - I have no idea what to make of them and mostly I remember them when I wake up. Which is weird because my real-life to-dos then have to compete for space with these dreams and it's all one strange experience.
Anyway, a co-worker finally made a sweet that I have been craving for for the past few months. Not just you-must-drop-by-home-etc promises; a box of real, gooey, huge spherical gulab jamuns! And it was totally unexpected, so I was touched and all that considering that no-one really made anything special for me and all that (Of course k cooks what I want to eat on chosen days after hints from me ranging from the subtle to the arrg-just-cook-what-I-want!) God bless him (the co-worker I mean) and his mom (she called them makhan peda or something like that)!
I managed to find time to write a javascript program for k's birthday which, surprise! He managed to solve while I am still pregnant (with heavy hints from me)! One of the questions was, "How many gifts are you getting this year?" and his prompt, confident answer was "31"! Talk about great expectations! One of the gifts was a set of tickets to "Leading ladies" a play at Pioneer playhouse. I just love the downright-crazy, mixed-up situations that arise in these plays and the cool thing was the play was written by a local playwright! Much fun and laughs!
We finally checked out Earthwood furniture, a local furniture store that sells solid wood furniture, finished but not stained. You can then pick your stain (like cherry, walnut, oak stains) and then finish it with lacquer. Of course, it is a task for men who love working with wood not those just looking to find a quick furniture piece. The sad thing is the store is closing which says something about priorities. Like the lady at the store said, people don't seem to have the time or inclination to buy and finish wooden furniture by hand. They look at easily available, much cheaper MDF furniture and wonder why the price difference is so huge. Anyway, if you are in town, you should visit the place.
Oh! And there's this great sitcom on TV, "The big bang theory" (shows on CBS Mondays 8 PM EST)! It has this Indian character whose parents take decisions for him about whom to date, when to marry etc. All the characters in the show are kind of exaggerated, the geek is super geeky and the Indian guy is like this mama-papa's boy who is terrified of talking to girls except when he is drunk and then he says the most ridiculous things!
So that's that. Expect more disjointed updates and anecdotes in the coming months :p
Anyway, a co-worker finally made a sweet that I have been craving for for the past few months. Not just you-must-drop-by-home-etc promises; a box of real, gooey, huge spherical gulab jamuns! And it was totally unexpected, so I was touched and all that considering that no-one really made anything special for me and all that (Of course k cooks what I want to eat on chosen days after hints from me ranging from the subtle to the arrg-just-cook-what-I-want!) God bless him (the co-worker I mean) and his mom (she called them makhan peda or something like that)!
I managed to find time to write a javascript program for k's birthday which, surprise! He managed to solve while I am still pregnant (with heavy hints from me)! One of the questions was, "How many gifts are you getting this year?" and his prompt, confident answer was "31"! Talk about great expectations! One of the gifts was a set of tickets to "Leading ladies" a play at Pioneer playhouse. I just love the downright-crazy, mixed-up situations that arise in these plays and the cool thing was the play was written by a local playwright! Much fun and laughs!
We finally checked out Earthwood furniture, a local furniture store that sells solid wood furniture, finished but not stained. You can then pick your stain (like cherry, walnut, oak stains) and then finish it with lacquer. Of course, it is a task for men who love working with wood not those just looking to find a quick furniture piece. The sad thing is the store is closing which says something about priorities. Like the lady at the store said, people don't seem to have the time or inclination to buy and finish wooden furniture by hand. They look at easily available, much cheaper MDF furniture and wonder why the price difference is so huge. Anyway, if you are in town, you should visit the place.
Oh! And there's this great sitcom on TV, "The big bang theory" (shows on CBS Mondays 8 PM EST)! It has this Indian character whose parents take decisions for him about whom to date, when to marry etc. All the characters in the show are kind of exaggerated, the geek is super geeky and the Indian guy is like this mama-papa's boy who is terrified of talking to girls except when he is drunk and then he says the most ridiculous things!
So that's that. Expect more disjointed updates and anecdotes in the coming months :p
June 10, 2008
Page 123.
In response to IBH's book tag: "The tag is about the book that you are currently reading, turn to page 123, count till line 5 and write down the lines after that!"
"And then it was fall, and he had enrolled in Harvard. She had chosen Middlebury. He'd made himself give it up then, accept her silence as punishment"
From: The last time they met by Anita Shreve.
Have been meaning to pick up one of her novels for long, this one's kind of super intense though, without a break, which kind of tires me out, if you know what I mean.
"And then it was fall, and he had enrolled in Harvard. She had chosen Middlebury. He'd made himself give it up then, accept her silence as punishment"
From: The last time they met by Anita Shreve.
Have been meaning to pick up one of her novels for long, this one's kind of super intense though, without a break, which kind of tires me out, if you know what I mean.
June 03, 2008
Mamma mia!
Written after the definite realization that there are several worlds out there, not just ours. I don't mean like parallel universes or something (although that is an interesting topic to blog about), I mean just different worlds that you can get totally immersed in and lose yourselves. And I thought becoming a mom meant one such new world - "The pregnancy world" or you know something cute like "The googoo gaagaa world" and just that one new world. We learn about this one new world, neatly step in and continue living in that world happily ever after.
Oh boy! Was I wrong! Having a baby means entering multiple new worlds that your current world does not provide you enough time with which to research. You know what I mean?
So far, I have come across an incomplete list that includes:
Oh boy! Was I wrong! Having a baby means entering multiple new worlds that your current world does not provide you enough time with which to research. You know what I mean?
So far, I have come across an incomplete list that includes:
- "The pregnancy world" - Basically lists of stuff that you can read and be scared about mainly, and also get excited about once in a while :p
- "The baby world" - This is where you learn that just because someone is little doesn't mean you do little things to make him/her happy, you do lots of really big things!
- "The materialistic world" - This is where you buy and then buy some more stuff to make sure the little one has all it's demands (and some of ours) met.
- "The mothering world" - How can you be the #1 mom and live under the illusion for quite some time and so on.
- "The diapering world" - This is big. There are like 568 varieties of disposable diapers and 295 varieties of cloth diapers you can buy and 2008 accessories you can buy for each kind!
- "The feeding world" - This Venn diagram kind of intersects with the baby world but is big enough to be it's own world
- "The rest of the world world" - This a shrinking world consisting of this blog and such, my work, my life, you all and me :)
- For instance, there's the been there done that mom-and-dad-and-mama-and-maami category -I get loads of good advice, the occasional weird advice and the frequent, "You must come home, I will cook whatever you feel like eating, just for you!" which doesn't really materialize but is nice to hear anyway.
- Sometimes, there are these people who would like to check out how big my stomach is really but are too ahem...polite to ask, so they discretely check out my belly in what they consider an invisible glance. I catch it every time. Well, that's not really a category, I don't believe much in categorizing people anyway :p
- There's the caring bunch, the people who go out of their way to make things convenient for me and my growing self. That's nice. They also make it a point to remind k how he should always be nice to me and so on and I love the look on his face when he gets advice like that! Anyway, I really like this bunch.
- There's the oh-nice-ok-then bunch - Basically the people who don't pay much attention since their lives are consuming their time as usual. So, they don't really offer to do much or go out of their way to accommodate your wishes. Oh well, the world doesn't revolve around me, it does obviously for me, just not for them :p
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
