Apppy...

That's how r~ says "Happy" when the "Happy Birthday" song plays on TV. When I turned 30, I acted like the typical drama queen -- resisting, reminiscing, wondering how this chunk of my life would turn out. But the big three-oh turned out to be fine mostly and in addition to a little love bundle in my arms, I managed to get a book out there. Check, check (as Monica would say). And now, I am at that crossroads again wondering what this year will bring. A published novel would be nice. It would be reaaallly nice. And then I would be one of those cool moms who could claim that they took care of their baby while working from home on something they were passionate about. But, I am not that mom now. I am just a mom who is turning a year older who is dreaming big dreams while her little one continues to throw delightful little challenges her way and melt her heart with her love (I could talk a lot more about r~ but I'll reserve that for my secret mommy blog ;)

One of these years, I am going to approach a birthday thinking Ok, I am there. This is where I wanted to be and this is where I am. 35. Yup, that sounds about right. 35 is going to be the year when I am going to breathe a sigh of peace and just be.

Anyway for now, k has threatened to buy me a complicated piece of technology for my birthday.

"But, I don't want that whatever-you-call-it. I want you to find a publisher."

"You didn't give me anything expensive for Valentines day..." (k attempts to imitate the inverted sad "U" that r~ makes with her mouth), "Just this, this...."

He is staring at the card that r~ and I made for him. It's a print of her hand with three little hearts drawn on it.

"Don't say the wrong thing..."

"This...priceless card." And then he seems lost for words.

Yup, can't go wrong when baby helps make a card for dear husband :)

"Anyway", he continues, "This will help you get there..." (now pointing to the amazon page touting the product).

"I don't want that thingamajigi. It will make me feel more guilty for having spent money towards writing and not succeeding. Why can't you find a publisher for me?"

"'Coz that's hard. Almost impossible."

Retracts statement quickly after catching my expression, "Well, not impossible. But very very hard...umm...somewhat hard? Look, why don't you check out what I am buying for you?"

Still sulking, "Other husbands support their wives' dreams."

But by now, I have lost him. He is excitedly reading about the thingie that he is going to buy that can convert my voice to text.

Oh well, at least I have a ring now.

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The ringless situation.

So, I've been asking k for a new ring with my birthstone in it ever since my old one got yucky and gave my ring finger a weird looking wrinkle. He has tried all techniques that husbands employ -- agreeing and then pretending that he forgot, plain dilly-dallying, pretending to focus on blank spot with more intensity, changing the topic to li'l r (This is a good one, I fall for it almost all the time), asking me about myself or my blogs (This one works well too), throwing in random related questions, "Yeah, you think we should check out the rings in the mall?" and then, "What's for dinner?" He is too smart to refuse because he knows the consequences of said refusal but at this point I am weary and annoyed that my delicate ring finger still does not sport a glittering sapphire (or whatever my birth stone is) ring shining with the promised love of our marriage. And so, I tried a different tactic the other night:

"Where's my ring?"

"It's coming honey."

"I don't want it."

"Why? The ring is slowly on its way."

"Don't want it."

At this point, the conversation sort of petered out and wanting to prove my point, I add "Because if you buy me the ring, I will refuse to accept it. I suppose for that purpose, I would need a ring."

Looks confused, "Okay..."

"Because, I have my ego and my ring-less finger has waited long enough."

Confused look replaced my faint ray of comprehension but then goes back to looking confused again.

"Because..." At this point, I have run out of becauses, however would like to continue conversation so said ring finds its place on my ring-less finger.

"Because, there is no love left in our marriage."

"Huh?" I admit some genuine bafflement crossed his face but he was not very forthcoming.

"I don't want the ring."

And then to emphatically state what was on my mind, I add "I don't want the ring."

So anyway, am waiting for the ring since Val day is around the corner and k is sorta predictable that way. I need to prepare my rejection speech for the ring (unless of course it's a really really cute ring).

Arrrg. Why can't I be the type of girl that excitedly pointed to the ring she adored and shared it with an equally delighted girl-friend. And then k would contact said girl-friend without my knowledge, get said ring in the right size (and he would know the size because he would have secretly taken my engagement ring along with him), have it gift-wrapped in a lovely shiny white box with a little pink bow on top and then tada! You get the picture?

Man in black suit, white box in hand, down on one knee...ending with, "I can't accept this ring. The ring acceptance time has expired!"



I am not saying it has to be this ring, just saying (I swear I didn't pick it up just because it is insanely expensive and that is a fitting revenge, I really liked it)...

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Spark!

A few of my friends from Bits came up with this creative venture -- Spark! It's a fun literary magazine and I am amazed at how good the layout looks -- very catchy and colorful!

This month, I am "writer of the month" -- so thrilled! Do read my article on love (What else?) and of course the rest of the magazine -- it's one hell of a romantic journey!

Take me to Spark!

Also, been messing with my blog layout in an attempt to make it look not so ancient but in the process lost my blog-roll :( If you happen to remember being on this page, please do let me know, I really do want you here!

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This strange thing called love

I've been in the mood for poetry for some time now. So, until I get it out of my system, you will be subjected to saccharine doses of it here :)

This strange thing we call love
Of roses and stars and little white doves;
Painted black and white and everything in between
Every hue that colors the dreams of sweet sixteen;

When fluttering lashes and eyes that beguile
meet thudding hearts and bashful smiles,
Unbidden flow,
my hidden tears and lyrical words,
withering in your stormy moods;

Each speak a tale that is its very own,
Etched eternal in hearts that are sworn
to the magic, the mystery, the miracle of the moment!

Look closely and you will find,
buried in the stones, perhaps left far behind;
A lonely sea shell, opening its heart to you
Singing sweet songs just for you!

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